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Cruise Control, Part 1


"MOM!" Tammy shouted. Mildred smiled and did a little spin. She had gone out and gotten a sylph-grandchild t-shirt.

The front had a graphic of a cage, with a pair of anime-big eyes peering out from the bars. There was a wrapped present just outside the bars. The back had the tag line, "You're telling me my grandchild..."

Cruiser reached his arm out of the carrier window and waved. He laughed at her mother's antics.

Mildred kissed her daughter and slipped the carrier from her hand. She raised it high to kiss Cruiser as she followed the hostess to their table.

The sylph giggled, pressed his face up against the bars and kissed back. Tammy shook her head and followed.

"So, what's new?" her mother asked as they sat.

"I read the entire sylph entry from the incyclopedia!" Cruiser bragged. Mom was suitably impressed with his progress.

"Any problems?"

"Just pronouncing some words he's never heard," Tammy said. "But I had the same problem when I was in school."

"That's because you were a lot smarter than your peers," Mildred said. "Reading books that used words none of those entertainment-spoiled children did."

"Mom, I was talking about college."

"So was I, dear, so was I."

Cruiser talked quite a bit about their week. They'd gone to a museum and he got to stand by a mirror that showed Tammy at his height to him, while Tammy saw Cruiser at her own height.

"That must have been weird," Mildred mused. The other two nodded. Cruiser went on about other exhibits that caught his eye.

Then he mentioned a conversation he'd had with one of his classmates at the sylph reading course. He'd worked up the nerve to ask a girl when to stop spelling Mississippi. She'd laughed and called him cute.

He laughed with her, then ran behind the pencil cup and puked.

Mildred was dependably sympathetic.

Tammy couldn't believe how open her pet got around her mother. He didn't even talk this much around coworkers he saw each day.

"Oh!" he said. "And I know how to dial a phone!"

"Really?" Mildred said happily. "Then why haven't you called me?"

"What?"

"You know how to dial a phone and you haven't called me to say hi? What's up with that?"

"Oh. I, uh, only called Tammy's work number. So some day, if I'm home alone and I need her I can get ahold of her."

"You plan on leaving him at home?" Mildred asked Tammy. Tammy forced herself not to squirm under the glare.

"Not planning, no. But he's getting more comfortable, a little more independent. He may want to spend a day at home. Especially when I'm going around to do estimates in the winter."

"Ah," Mildred said, letting her daughter off the hook. "Well, give him your telephone. Let's see how Cruiser calls someone for a social reason."

Tammy got her phone from her purse, watching as her mother opened the carrier and eased Cruiser out into view.

She opened the case and placed it down. Cruiser efficiently turned on the phone and found her contacts. Mom was number one and he quickly connected.

Mildred played it for all she was worth. "A caller! I wonder who it could be? Hello?"

Cruiser giggled and moved from earpiece to mouthpiece as they had a conversation.

He bolted for cover when the waitress brought their order, but at least he turned for the carrier. Not too long ago he might have just run off in the direction he was facing. Even if it was over the side of the table.

Tammy noticed that her mom looked a little guilty, maybe feeling that she'd accidentally set Cruiser up for a fright. Tammy tapped the table beside her phone with a fingernail.

"Cruiser! You have to say goodbye. It's impolite to hang up without saying goodbye. Especially to people we like."

"Okay," he said, cautiously coming out. He shouted a goodbye, Mildred accepted it and he was back in the carrier.

"Speaking of people we like," her mother said as they put phones away, "are you going to the reunion?"

"Oh, no. Big crowds that feel perfectly at home hugging strangers and talking about people who died? I doubt he's ready for that."

"Died?" Cruiser asked.

"Old people," Mildred assured him. "Decrepit people who fell apart like I'm always doing. But they just kept falling."

She turned back to Tammy. "Actually, a Foster reunion would be great for him. Your Auntie Deluvian says Annie's got the whole herd broken in on the subject of sylphs. And Pet's helping keep them in line."

"Well, I have wanted him to meet Annie and Pet. To thank them, if nothing else." She reached out to put a finger against the carrier door. He reached out to place his hand on her fingernail. "What do you think, Cruiser? Want to meet Annie and Pet?"

"Yes," he said.

"Okay," she shrugged. "Annie and Pet ARE going to be at the reunion this year, aren't they?"

"From what Deluvian says, it wouldn't be a reunion without them."

-------

Cruiser had no problem with the flight. He was a natural fit for the institutional paranoia of the TSA. He didn't trust anyone, either. And nudity was more comfortable for him anyway.

He slid the windows shut during the flight and relaxed. The safety lecture was completely over his head so he just ignored it. The nose was even, not the raucous waves of fight fans. He was ignoring it in a matter of moments.

And Tammy had filled the locker under his bed with snacks. He had a much more comfortable flight than she had.

Touch down shook him up a bit, but a glance at Tammy settled him down. He just waited for whatever was next.

Tammy had to pull over on the Airport Road and force him into his coveralls. "No, no!" he protested. "The lines from the seams FINALLY faded from my skin! I'm happy! I'm comfortable! You want me happy, don't you?"

"I want you presentable in a family setting!" she replied, shoving a foot through bunched-up fabric.

"Come on! The human body is beautiful!" He tried to kick his legs free.

"Where the hell did you hear that?" She pinched his thighs gently and slid him into the garment.

"The da Vinci DVD. You're covering up God's handiwork!"

"Next time," she snarled, "I'll just shred the clothes and staple them to your body!" He relaxed as she zipped him shut. She smiled. "Of course, you know I would never do that."

"I know," he assured her. "Peg says that sometimes we make empty threats just to show how important something is." He stroked her fingers as he lay across her palm.

She held him to her cheek for a quick hug.

"You, uh... You'd probably be more comfortable without half of your elastic..." he suggested.

"Step off, Hefner," she laughed. "I'm far more comfortable with panty lines than I would be without panties." She lowered him into the carrier and headed for the hotel.

--------

Cruiser looked a little confused as he stepped out of the carrier. She had just placed it on the floor in the corner, then gone to unpack.

"Tammy? Did you forget something?" He walked carefully along the wall until he reached the corner. There he could see her hanging dresses up in the closet. "My cage?"

"I didn't forget, Cruiser. I just wondered if we really need it." She flashed him a smile. His return smile was a bit weak.

"You're always worried you'll step on me if I wander, though?"

"Well, this is a smaller place. Fewer places for you to get lost. And we won't be spending too much time in it. I don't know, I just thought you might want to try a little more freedom.

"You can always go back into the carrier if you want."

"Oh." He stared up at her, following her movements as she set everything up to her satisfaction. Then he turned and surveyed the room. He glanced at where she stood, then ran across the room to see what was under the bed.

She saw him in the mirror and smiled again.

------

Tammy had left the Battleship game in the car, so their nightly fight was on his portable unit. They slid it back and forth on the table.

She usually made him turn the sound off, but he usually used it in the office. Now she was feeling pretty indulgent, thought the whistling sound of an incoming round made her skin crawl.

After she won, she picked him up and looked around the room. "What looks like a wrestling arena to you?"

"I dunno," he said. "Maybe the-" He screamed in surprise as she tossed him into the air. He tumbled over twice then landed on the bed in the middle of a pillow.

He augured in like a stuntman falling off a building, then bounced back out, giggling. She was kneeling by the bed an instant later, hand pouncing to smash him into the soft cushion.

The give made it harder to keep her hold on him and he escaped easily. He actually got a finger back far enough to count for a pin.

She overacted horribly, screaming and pounding the bed with her free hand. He laughed and pantomimed ripping the finger completely free.

She cried piteously as he beat her to death with the bloody end of the invisible digit. Then she sank down the side of the bed to lay across the carpet. As her hand slipped across the edge of the mattress, she grabbed his tiny form and took him with her.

He lay panting across her sternum, staring up at her smile. After a bit, she rose to ease him into the carrier for the night.

"Can I sleep on the table?" he asked, pointing to the nightstand by her pillow.

"When the alarm goes off, I'd pound your snooze button flat," she pointed out. He shuddered and retreated into the carrier.

------

A cousin she vaguely remembered meeting years before was handing out name tags. The color helped her find her place on the big family tree on the wall.

Cruiser was suitably impressed with the number of people represented. He was less happy about the number of people swarming the VFW Hall.

Two kids noticed the carrier and ran up to stare. They saw the paper sign she'd made for it, 'Very Shy Sylph,' and took a step back. They still stared in through the windows, though.

Cruiser surprised Tammy by leaving the window open and just staring back.

"Is that a boy sylph?" one asked.

"Ask him," Tammy told them.

"Yes, I am," Cruiser offered.

"So you're not like Annie?" the first one asked/said.

"No one's like Annie," the second one offered. The first one nodded. Then they started firing off questions and comments.

"Are you going to marry Annie?"

"Are you going to marry Pet?"

"Are you married to this lady?"

"Are you going to be in the eating contest?"

"Are you going to judge something? Annie's a funny judge."

"Annie's mean."

"But she's mean in a funny way."

"Mean isn't funny."

"It is when it's someone else she's mean to."

Tammy shook her head and wandered off. They didn't notice her departure.

"Are they all going to be like that?" Cruiser asked. She lifted the carrier up to look in at him. He seemed calm, not panicky.

"I don't know," she said with a shrug. "But if it gets too much for you, we can go."

"I'll.... I'll let you know," he decided.

"Okay."

Mildred was right, Annie had the family well trained. Everyone seeing the sylph offered him a bite of whatever they had.

He wasn't comfortable taking things off of plates, but they were just as happy to point Tammy towards where the food or drink or desert had come from.



The planners had set up a coloring contest pretty much exactly to give Annie a microphone.

Someone who had to be Ray was sticking colored drawings to magnetic document stands. Annie wore a JUDGE ribbon on her back like a set of angel wings and walked along the displays.

On a nearby table, a blonde sylph stood by a swarm of trophies. A redheaded human stood by her table.

The first kid was about ten years older than the other contestants. Tammy suspected a shill. Annie really ripped into him. He lacked knowledge of color, shading, horse anatomy, American history, tack or bridle.

The little sylph ranted on and on about his audacity at trying to pass on a epileptic fit as an entry in a coloring contest. She also told him to get a haircut.

The adults laughed, the kids laughed a little more uneasily. But Annie clearly had her anger out.

She was a lot more forgiving on the young ones.

"Marcie? Your horse has antenna."

"Yes," the little brunette said.

"And he's fourteen different colors."

"Yes."

"You did say," the blonde sylph pointed out through her own microphone, "that you were tired of brown horses."

"I did, didn't I?" Annie agreed. "And it's certainly not brown at any point."

"It's a butterfly horse!" Marcie explained.

"Butterfly? Marcie, did you see the boots? You had to, you colored them like gold lamé. This is a cowboy horse, Marcie. No cowboy of the Old West is going to ride a butterfly horse."

"He would if he's gay," Marcie pointed out. She put her hands behind her back and twisted as Annie stared.

"Stunned silence from the judge!" the other sylph crowed "Marcie wins the Speechless Annie trophy!"

The human by that sylph dutifully took up one of the little trophies and awarded it to little Marcie with a smile. Ray took her picture with Annie and the drawing and she went back to sit down.

"She's the one that sent the button, right?" Cruiser asked softly.

"Yep. You think you wanna meet her?" Tammy asked. "She seems a little...intense."

"Huh?" Cruiser asked. She glanced down to see that he hadn't been looking at Annie, but at what must have been Pet.

Meanwhile, Annie had moved on to the next picture. "Zebra stripes?" she shouted, scandalized.

--------

After the contest was finished, Tammy got a moment alone with Annie, Pet and Ray. Denise stood by the emptied trophy table, watching over Cruiser's carrier.

She explained her sylph's history, and some of his panic buttons, to the pair and their owner.

“Poor guy,” Pet said. She glanced over at the carrier in the far corner. A little face appeared in one corner of the window. Pet waved. The face disappeared.

She tried to explain about the name, Cruiser, but the detail was waved off.

“Names aren’t an issue around here,” Annie told Tammy. “I know a sylph named Poultry.”

“And there’s me!” Pet said cheerfully.

“They’re very nonjudgmental,” Ray said.

Tammy sat nearby and watched carefully. Ray placed the girls down near the carrier, then collected his wife.

"They'll be fine," he whispered to Tammy. "But if you want to stay close, we can bring you back a plate....?"

"Oh, gosh, thanks," she said. "Um, anything. Thanks again."

"No problem," Denise assured her. They drifted off to the food line, arm in arm.

Tammy watched them go. They gazed at each other with the same expressions they looked at their sylphs with. She only hoped she and Cruiser appeared as happy together as those four did.

The sylphs managed to talk Cruiser out of his carrier, and apparently out of his shell. In just a few minutes they had him sitting outside with them.

Then they commanded their owner to get the Battleship game from Tammy's rental and set it up.

Tammy thought Cruiser was as impressed at their confidence as he was at their company.

Of course, once they started playing the game, his confidence, his arrogance started to show. Well, he'd earned it, she thought. He was still ten games ahead of his owner in their private standings.

Annie gave him a run for his money, though.



Cruise Control, Part 2
Cruise Control, Part 3
Cruise Control, Part 4
Cruise Control, Part 5
Cruise Control, Part 6


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