The Reaction




Everyone was excited about Electra’s TV appearance. And I do mean everyone. We got calls. We got letters. We got high fives from classmates (I accepted all physical displays of congratulations on Electra’s behalf).

And we got death threats.

Well, not exactly threats. But two of the shows that recorded in the studio made a big deal about how betrayed they felt that someone had put an unsupervised pair of sylphs on the air.

I thought we’d done really well. If they hadn’t SAID that they were sylphs, there was no real way to tell. I mean, if you knew what to look for, there were clues.

Electra had no shoes on, for one. And no jewelry. And the chairs were not upholstered, they were all formed from one piece of plastic.

And when Amelia laughed at one of Electra’s jokes, her giggle went ultrasonic.

This was meant to show that the little people were real people, not strange supernatural monsters.

This was deemed to be part of the Sylph Agenda Whatever The Hell That Is. The hosts of both shows demanded an apology and a promise that sylphs would never again appear on the station’s PA channel. Without that, they threatened, they’d leave.

In a letter posted on every bulletin board in the building, the owner of the stations pointed out that the entire purpose of the PA channel was that local citizens could broadcast whatever they wanted and no one would censor them, providing they were within the bounds of public decency.

No one had the right to shut down, say, God’s Acre or The Rights Say Aye except the owners of those shows. At least, not because of the content, not as long as they weren’t doing or urging people to do anything illegal, or in violation of FCC regulations.

Similarly, the owners of those shows did not have a right to shut down anyone else’s shows just because they found the content or the hostess personally offensive in some way.

They expressed sorrow that the hosts felt the way they did, but championed the rights of the individual to make such decisions as to terminate their participation in the alternative system of non-commercial television that was public access.

“What?” I asked.

“Mr. Peede is telling them,” Electra translated, “that the exit door is thataway, don’t let it hit you where the Good Lord done split you.”

“Oh.”

About a week after the first interview, though, was maybe the most excitement generated.

I came home one day to find Mom on the phone. “Well, yes,” she was telling whoever it was. “I can see that you’re very worried about her. I mean, you could hardly wait six months after her sylphing to call.”

My pocket started to wriggle. I unzipped it and brought Electra out, easing her out of the athletic sock she used for insulation. Mom waved to us both.

“No, I don’t think it’s actually necessary for us to meet. The law is very clear on the point that sylphing is considered a death in the family. Her personal effects were returned to her legal guardian.”

“Dad?” Electra whispered. I didn’t think Mom could hear her. So I pointed a finger at my sylph and silently mouthed “Her dad?” Mom nodded.

“Maybe we can speed this up,” Mom said. “You are aware that she earned no money at all for her appearance on television for that interview, right?” She paused. “No, her owner didn’t get any money either, so if you-“ She blinked and hung up.

“I’d have asked if you wanted to talk to him,” Mom told Electra, “but-“

“But he hung up when he found out he can’t claim my money,” Electra said with a bitterness I never heard from her. I mean, ever! No matter how much of an asshole I’ve been.

“The GOOD news, of course, is that your little interview is being passed around all over the place. Even in New York!” She forced a smile.

“Dad’s in New York?” Electra asked. She shook her head. “Well, if he called here, he must have called Mom, first, to find out where I am. Did my mother call?”

“Yes,” my mother said. She didn’t sound happy.

“And hung up at the same point?”

“Yes,” Mom confirmed.

“Conrad, can you set up the gym, please? I want to routine.”

“Use the dining table,” Mom said. “Dinner’s pizza, we’ll use the TV trays.”

“Thanks,” we both said together.

The dining table’s the biggest one, she can try all sorts of stuff with a wide safety margin.

I set up the bars and swings and stuff and lined the table with folded towels as cushions. Then I sat nearby, reading, just in case she wanted to talk.

She hit the bars hard enough to lift the little pads off of the table completely.



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Index

27. Middle Name

29. Listening