Electra’s Swearing Habit
There was a food court in the mall and we had lunch at the McDonald’s. I gave her a McNugget, a tub of honey mustard sauce, and about ten napkins.
We ate in silence for a bit. She was concentrating on cutting a mouthful off of the slab of chicken, I was watching her efforts.
Finally she asked about Boise and Get Up America! “So? What about Boise? And GUA?”
“Well, Dad likes the numbers, for the pay and the tuition. And Mom likes me actually having a direction in life. She was so afraid that I’d consider class clown as a career.”
“Is there a career like that?” she asked.
“It used to be called Village Idiot,” I said. “I think I’d have to run for the city council.”
“I don’t think they have a communicator on the city council.”
“Pity. I mean, I’ve got the dress and the reputation.” Then I shook my head. “But now we have a chance at a different path. Do you want to be on TV?”
“Would it be selfish to say I do?” she asked.
“Depends on why you want it,” I said. “If it’s for your own ego and glory and that’s all, maybe a little. If it’s for all of sylphdom and the future of Offsized Americans, that’s a little egotistical in itself.
“But if you’re doing it because you want to AND Amelia will be proud of you, and so will I, and people will see sylphs a little bit better as a direct result of your efforts… No, Electra. It’s not.”
“Thanks,” she said softly. “But still, it’s your decision.”
“We JUST talked about treating sylphs like people, and you remind me that you’re my property?”
“You’re the giant,” she pointed out. “I can’t force you to do anything. I’m outvoted just from sheer mass, if not legal basis.”
“Fee Fi Fo Flectra, I smell the blood of a tiny Electra.”
“Did you hear anything after ‘giant,’ Conrad?”
“I’m sorry, busy imagining you with honey mustard sauce. Grind your bones and all that…”
“Wonderful,” she muttered. She sat back, leaning on her hands, legs out in front of her. “But… Are you going to be jealous? That they’re after me, not you?”
“ Not… jealous,” I said. “That would require me WANTING people to put that much pressure on me to be witty and charming and smart. You know, the stuff you do naturally.”
“You’re witty,” she protested. I noticed she didn’t try to tell me I was charming.
“Well, yeah, give me a slide whistle and a spotlight…”
“No, no. You were our producer for Gitarzan. And you do a great job as Communicator. And you teased Chrissy about her name with her approval! You’re witty.
“AND you were the one that got CHIP to find ME! You’re a lot smarter than you’re willing to admit.”
“You take that back!”
She sighed and rolled to her knees, then stood and walked over to my arm. “Okay, okay, don’t get your knicker’s in a twist.”
“Snickers? I don’t have any Snickers, Electra, but we can get some in the candy store. Are you still hungry?”
She kicked me.
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We caught up with the folks in the parking lot.
“How was the drive?” Dad asked.
“Pretty good,” I said. “We decided to name her Tantive IV.”
“It’s the ship we first see Princess Leia on,” my sylph explained. They nodded in instant comprehension. Well, yeah, they’d read Electra’s registration long before she did.
We talked about the job offer over dinner. We all talked. Dad and Mom both wanted to make sure Electra was just as happy with the opportunity as I was.
They asked a few questions we hadn’t considered and we talked it out.
For me, the best part of the evening was that Electra did NOT freeze or look around in surprise when she realized that the giant parents were concerned about her feelings, and listening to her thoughts on the matter.
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Index
57. Conrad’s Party…Kinda
59. Senior Banquet