Electra J


So, we squeezed eight sylphs into the two-hour premiere. It was as exhausting as a full hour on the bars. But as exhilarating, too.

We took a break after we signed off. Deliah brought in some food, just snacks, but, like, a TON of snacks, and the audience partied.

I drank nearly my weight in water, sitting in Cher’s chair for a touch-up. Delli laid out a change of clothes and gossiped. “Did you see the picture Conrad has?”

Did he get Carrie’s autograph?” I asked.

“Better’n that,” she said. “You know that scene in the first movie, where she uses R2D2 to take a little blue selfie of herself?”

“The hologram message, yeah?”

“She stood in that pose in front of the picture and let Conrad trace her outline with the marking pen.”

“Oh, there’ll be no living with him, now,” Cher tutted.

“You barely live with him as it is!” Delli said.

“But now? He’ll be mooning over his princess.” He stepped back suddenly, taking his comb away from my head. “What’s wrong, honey, did I stab you or something?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Nothing. Just, coughed a bit. And hiccupped. Nothing.”

Most of the humans in the audience took off after we closed the show. Nolan held Kerri in a pocket and watched from a chair beside Conrad’s.

Ray and Denise stayed to watch the filming of the follow-on interviews. They let their sylphs come down to party with everyone else. They appeared to be patient and mildly interested while their pets concentrated on the food and other sylphs.

Sneaky bastard owners.

We worked our way through the rest of the list, calling them up on stage one at a time.

As time went on, and the food went away, the outrageous crowd dwindled. Finally, we were down to our last two names on the list.

“Peaches and Teaches,” Conrad called to the room.

There was a moment of silence. The half-dozen sylphs looked around to see who was going to answer. No one moved.

“Did they already go?” Delli asked as she zipped up my dress.

“No.” I stepped off the porch and waved for my mic to be turned on. “Okay, when we read off the names of everyone who was going to be interviewed, we MAY have committed a distraction.

“Annie? Pet? Your owners submitted your joint application under pseudonyms. Come on up, will you?”

The two sylphs from the sorting party stared up at the set for a moment without moving. Finally, a one-handed sylph standing behind Annie gave her shoulder a gentle-shove, then started cheering.

Everyone started clapping. She took Pet by the hand and stepped up to the stairs. Conrad knelt with his little box and lifted them to the table.

“I’m not…” Annie protested, patting her hair. She was a little disheveled.

Pet had the cutest pink t-shirt and shorts on, with a great big heart on the chest. “Is this okay?” she asked, tugging at her shirt hem.

“No,” Ghirardelli said. She took Pet into the garage.

Cher stepped up to Annie, put a hand on each shoulder and said, “You’ll do. Or I can make your owner wanna bite through sheetrock.”

“Oooooh,” she hummed.

I followed them inside.

“Okay,” I said as Ghirardelli commenced stripping them both. “The cameras haven’t started yet. We’re going to put you guys in the program way, way down the road. So no one compares you two to Kerri’s strip.”

“Oh, you know?” Annie asked.

“Know what?” I asked back. “Oh. OH! You ARE the inspiration?” I congratulated them. I was very surprised. They’d just seemed so together during the sorting.

“Well, yeah,” Annie said. “We were kind of polar opposites at first. But then, after a period of adjustment, we got to know each other and eventually trusted one another. Then with that trust, we came to grasp each person’s very different outlooks, including their relationship with their owner and life in general.”

“It was a Saturday,” Pet said.

“That would explain it,” Cher said. He watched and considered while Delli dressed them up.

“Anyway, that’s great, but we were going to talk about you two. What do you want to talk about?”

Annie got a little black dress that suited her like a dream. She spun in front of the mirror then suddenly stopped. “Well, which of us is Peaches?”



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Index

128. Annie L

130. Electra K