|
Do not wait for
the Transformation to finish. Jawdropping shock eats valuable running time.
|
|
Never check the
body to see if they’re Dead.
They never are.
|
|
If it is too good
to be true, it is probably too late to run.
|
|
Never invoke anything
bigger than your head.
|
|
When the Black Mass
goes awry, stay away from the Evil Priest.
Enraged demons always go for the pompous.
|
|
When a religious
artifact begins emitting light,
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
Thousands of cult members could be saved every year if they followed this
simple safety tip.
|
|
If you're riding
on public transport and the Magnificent Seven board your train or bus, get
out immediately and wait for the next one.
|
|
Do not run back
to get your teddy bear or puppy.
|
|
If you are a security
guard for a vast, powerful corporation, try to get assigned to the Marketing
or Personnel departments, rather than R&D.
|
|
If there's a shy, quiet
kid in your class that everyone picks on, treat her with respect and kindness.
When her psychic powers are made manifest, you may actually survive.
|
|
If you come across a
body, do not walk slowly in the direction of a suspicious noise, or stand
above the body in a stunned state of shock.
|
|
If an eerie, disembodied
voice orders you to depart the premises...go.
Figure the Voice is in a position to Know.
|
|
If the mere presence
of your new sweetheart provokes a hostile or fearful reaction in cats or
dogs, terminate the relationship immediately.
|
|
Do not make a snack
run alone.
Especially after midnight.
|
|
If you run a corporation
that conducts research, do not fire one of your researchers without first
dismantling every bit of their laboratory equipment.
|
|
If your corporation
conducts research, do not volunteer to work after hours.
That's when the experiments go awry.
|
|
When the scholar
in the expedition says that the carving promises wrath on he who breaks the
seal, it's time to go back to the camp.
|
|
Artifacts that are
found in pieces should be left in pieces.
|
|
If you are a news reporter,
find a happy medium between the people's right to know and your right to
not get your face munched.
|
|
Deputies are lightning
rods for danger.
Monsters will aim for the deputy.
Civilians will keep this in mind.
|
|
It’s never the
one you suspect.
|
|
Okay, SOMETIMES
it’s the one you suspect.
|
|
Security forces
have no sense of humor.
|
|
Do not keep
information secret in order to prevent widespread hysteria; it never works.
|
Another
Box Of Toys
Production
|
|