You know you're from Idaho....
You know you're from Idaho....
I found several 'You Know You're ..... When...." websites.
Ones like 'You know you're drunk when the woman you buy a drink for turns out to be in a picture on the calendar....again.' or 'You know your Starship Captain is a redneck when he gives the order "Bootlegger Reverse, Mr. Sulu!"'
I was hoping to be the first to start 'You know you're from Idaho when...' but someone here started with Eastern Idaho....
So, ripping them off unmercifully, since they are accurate, here is
You Know You're From Idaho When:
Eastern Idaho Page Entries
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for cattle prices and sports.
- Vacation means going to Boise.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
- You know how to pronounce the entire name of Boise, Idaho.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
- You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
- You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You've never met a celebrity.
- You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
Then I found Fantasic Card's version:
And You Know You're Born and Raised in Small-Town Idaho When...
- A girls' basketball game fills the gym.
- A rodeo is more popular than a rock concert.
- Democrats are like salmon, they are on the endangered species list.
- Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
- In March your vehicle is 43% mud.
- In the spring every tenth car you pass is a tractor.
- Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicle's "jocky box."
- People drive 200 miles to shop in a real mall.
- The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
- The elevation exceeds the population.
- The wind is faster than your truck.
- When the car in front of you is weaving you suspect a farmer instead of a drunk.
- When the sun goes down you start looking for your coat.
- Yellow light means "follow the car in front of you no matter what."
- You can fish, golf, and go skiing all in the same day if you try hard enough.
- You can see the stars at night.
- You got a set of snow tires for Valentines Day.
- You have to wait for a flock of sheep to pass you on the road.
- You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.
- You know why people pay money to watch "pig wrestling
- You leave your keys in the car and the next morning it's still there.
- You slept through the night unawakened by a siren.
- You talk about a combine and people don't wonder what you are putting together.
- You wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.
- Your back yard smells like sagebrush or various animals.
- Your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.
- You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.
Additions by Me,
- During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
- You are related to more than half the town.
- You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
- Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.
- Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
- You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
- You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
- There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
- You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.
- You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
- When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
- You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
- All your radio-preset buttons are country.
- You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
- Using the elevator involves a grain truck.
- Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
- You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
- You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
- Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
- You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
- You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
- You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
- You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
- Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
- You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
- You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
- You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
- You wear your boots to church.
- It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
- You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.
- The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
- You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.
- Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
- You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away.
Soda Springs, Jerome
- Anyone has ever not believed you about why there are 8-foot tall poles with reflectors along the side of the road.
- The local Daily Paper is a weekly.
- The newspaper's 'Around Town' section is the headline.
- The term "logging truck" makes you jumpy.
- When someone says 'panhandle' you think of the long drive.
- When the magazine mentions in trivia that only one state capital can be written in upside down numbers on a calculator, you get it right the first time: 35108.
- You commonly pronounce French terms and names in a manner that would make a Parisian declare war (Dubois: Dew Boysss)(Cour-de-Lane: Core-Dah-Layne)
- You've driven anything that was wider than the road you were on...and it was a paved road.
- You've ever driven a car on the freeway at age 14...legally.
- You've ever seen a rodeo bull clear a six-foot fence.
- You've ever used the idiom 'sittin' there' to describe activity: 'I was just sittin' there, runnin' down the road....'
- You've ever written 'rodeo clown' on any form containing the words: Work History; Previous Employment; Educational Background; Personal Fitness Plan or Business Loan Application.
- You've caught 'rainbow' trout that were all one color.
- You've ever yielded right of way to one of the following: a horseback rider, sheep, cattle, a brush fire, a logging truck or a windblown grain silo.
- You've had to remove skunk smell from a: pet, vehicle, relative, sleeping bag (or any other camping equipment) or body part more than once in your life.
Additions by Dragonlady:,
- You've been in states that are smaller than the county you grew up in.
- You've golfed where the hazards include wagon wheel ruts from the Oregon Trail.
- You've ever received skis for Christmas, and used them Christmas morning skiing off of the roof.
- You've ever flown commercially and at least once seen grazing cattle higher than the flying plane.
- Anyone has ever not believed you about why there are 5 parallel stripes painted across the road at the freeway onramp.
- You know what a finger steak is. (and no, it's not obscene)
- You've ever given a snow shovel or an ice scraper as a gift...and not as a joke.
- You've seen snow in every month of the year.
- You've shoveled snow in anything you would not consider to be 'winter' conditions.
- You prefer to ski at the place it takes chains on snowtires to get to because anyplace the snowplows can reach is as crowded as the beer tent at the rodeo.
- You have ever used the 'Above 3500 feet' directions in cooking instuctions.
- You've ever checked the barometer before deciding to use the "+3500 ft" instructions.
- The name "Galena Summit" makes you worry about the state of your brakes.
Glenns Ferry, Mountain Home
Adapted from 'You know you're from a small town...' as they apply, as well:
- When you see or hear the words 'Logging Road' you automatically drive on the shoulder.
- Considers the description, "Excessive annual rainfall" to be impossible, no matter where.
- Knows 591 hunting and fishing stories, but when conversation turns to the office humor, must resort to quoting Dilbert.
- Knows the difference between a jack rabbit and a jackalope and will gladly
take an out-of-stater hunting for either.
- The rattling sound of a dried seed pod along the trail will produce olympic class broad jumps on a moment's notice.
- Can correctly pronounce Basque names such as Egusquiza or Acarregui, but never gets the chance to show off said talent upon leaving the West.
- Knows where sugar comes from ......... but is a little bewildered by the term "cane sugar."
Additions by Mountain Gal:
- You can name everyone you graduated with
- You know what 4-H is
- You went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
- You used to drag or lap "main"
- You said the "F" word and your parents knew within the hour
- You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.
- You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough they'd tell your parents anyhow)
- When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes for you, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them
- The only way to date someone from another school was to date someone from out of town
- It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town
- The whole school went to the same party after graduation
- You don't give directions by street names or numbers ("Turn by Nelson's house, go to 2 blocks east to Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track")
- You give directions by buildings that burned down (...left at Nelson's Old Barn...)
- ....esp. if they burned down before you were born
- The golf course had only 9 holes
- You can't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend or girlfriend
- Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason
- The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
- You refer to anyone with a house newer then 1970 as the "rich people"
- The people in the "big city" dress funny, then you pick up the trend 2 years later
- Anyone you want can be found at the local gas station, cafe or the town pub
- You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends drives a grain truck to school occasionally
- The gym teacher suggest you bail hay for the summer to get stronger
- Directions are given using THE stop light as a reference
- You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you want a ride somewhere
- Your teachers call you by your older sibling's names
- Your teachers remember when they taught your parents
- You can charge at all the local stores or write checks without any ID
- The closest McDonalds is 45 miles away (or more)
- The closest mall is over an hour away
- You've peed in a hayfield.
- You have more than one story that involves an electric fence.
Glenns Ferry, Pocatello, Jerome
Additions by Transplanted Idahoan:,
- The electrical plug coming out of your engine compartment is there for a
purpose and not a practical joke.
- You get claustrophobic when trees grow along the road and you "can't see anything!"
Additions by Ski Demon:
- ...if you can say "Grand Tetons" (French for "big boobs") with a straight
- ...if "just down the road a bit" means an 80-mile drive - one way.
- ...if mailbox vandalism makes the front page of the newspaper.
Soda Springs, Jerome, Mosow, Pocatello, Boise
And the classic closings:
- You can discuss the taste of rocky mountain oysters...
- You can discuss the source of rocky mountain oysters...
- You can discuss the harvesting of rocky mountain oysters...
- ......without throwing up.
- Anyone has ever not believed you about where RMO's come from.
- The guy flashing his highbeams at you to slow down so you don't get a ticket turns out to be the cop at the speed trap.
- Anyone has ever believed you about hating to travel because of Indian attacks on the stage....
- You actually get these jokes
- You link or forward this page to a fellow Idahoan
Subject: Idaho Department of Relocation
This list of rules will be handed to each person as they enter the state:
That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at got more exercise before breakfast than you'll get all week at the gym.
It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow you drive you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have four-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive it or get it out of the way.
We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
Any references to "spud fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.
Pull your pants up and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.
If that cell phone rings while a heard of deer are making their approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
You bring Coke into my house it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
Let's get this straight: We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
Yeah, we eat catfish, trout and other wild game too. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Don't like it? Interstates 64, 95, and 81 go two ways---get on one of them.
"The Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday.
So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards, though; it spooks the fish.
And, That's Idaho! Welcome.
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