You know you're just back from an overseas tour when:
- ...store-bought food tastes funny...Familiar, but funny.
- ...you're surprised that when the commentator mentions football, he's really talking about football!
- ...you find yourself trying to convert the prices of things from dollars to dollars.
- ...you find it odd to have to search thru the paper for soccer scores.
- ...you find it odd that all the women in the paper are fully dressed.
- ...you recognize all the names in the headlines, but none of the ones on the music charts.
- ...something you saw in the theatre last month is in the video store today.
- ...wearing a cowboy hat and claiming to be from Texas doesn't get you free drinks at the bar.
- ...other drivers get out of YOUR way.
- ...Taco Bell food has assumed a mythic place in your mind, but McDonald's is just another fast food joint.
- ...you go into great detail telling the waitress how you want your food cooked, and that's how they were gonna serve it anyway.
- ...you talk quite naturally about trips taken to places no one else has ever heard of.
- ...they catch you 'playing' with the central heating controls for the sheer joy of it. ("I throw the switch to 'HEAT' and we get heat!")
- ...you go to shift gears and open the car door, instead.
- ...you go to flip through the channels, and after 5 seconds you're still flipping!
- ...you tell your child 'we're guests in this country' and even he knows to laugh at you.
- ...you have more than one electrical device that requires an adapter.
- ...the mention of 'soccer hooligans' makes you paranoid.
- ...for the first time in your life, you find yourself correcting other people's terminology. ("The people are Scots or Scottish, 'scotch' is a drink.")
- ...you find it odd to be in a crowd and not be able to see over everyone's head.
- ...when someone mentions 'haggis' you: (a) Know what it is (b) Know what it tastes like (c) Have eaten worse.
- ...you find it odd that even drunks are speaking in words you can understand.
- ...you find yourself spending less time telling a joke than you spend explaining the cultural differences that make it funny.
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Navy and military index.