Limericks

There once was a witch name of June.
Who wanted to fly on her broom.
She thought she could bank
On a hydrogen tank,
Which worked til it all went Kaboom.

Harry Potter makes Christians go swoon
As they shout 'all you heathens are doomed!'
But we pagans are aware,
That as Satanic fare,
The movie's 'Star Wars' on a broom.

About our image of the Goddess
Some say our humor is the oddest
A great centerfold
Of a playmate bold
But it makes our celebrations the hottest.

When the Goddess manifests as Aphrodite
It's true that sometimes she's, well, flighty.
But her fertility rites
Take us higher than kites
When she wears her see-thru nightie.

Pagan 'Tom Swifties'

"Timmor-Ra, use 'ouija' in a sentence."
"My dad burst into flames at a seance, and the medium said, 'Well, ouija look at that.'"

She grabbed her broom and swept out of the room.

"How would you like to believe you were a wolf?" she asked, enchantingly.

"Do you have a familiar?" she asked intimately.
"I have a totem animal," he answered woodenly.

"Warn everyone about the witchfinder." he said sharply.

"That cat certainly seems to like you."
"Well, we're on familiar terms."

"Let's ask the spirits about this...i have a tarot-ble feeling about it."

That Old Old Old Time Religion:

We will worship Aphrodite,
Even though she's kinda flighty
But She wears a See-Thru Nightie
And that's good enough for me!


We will worship Old Cthulhu,
He's a friend to me and you-ooh,
But Friday night's for Fondue
And that's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!


We will all go worship Thor,
He's killed Giants by the score,
That's what the Hammer's for
And that's good enough for me!




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