Once upon a James Bond movie,
he met a character with the name 'Christmas Jones.' After introducing herself, she said 'Don't make any jokes, I've heard them all.'
This line stuck with me for a while. I mean, I have a last name that is usually pronounced "(Sudden Silence) . . . ." at roll call, so I can understand not wanting to sit thru jokes about the name.
On the other hand, her 'heard them all' struck me as a challenge. She can't have heard them ALL, I haven't even STARTED!
Now, years of experience with amateur humor lead me to believe that someone with that name would have heard a lot of the same joke over and over.
By high school she'd have been fed up with guys that wanted to unwrap their christmas present. MAYBE the softball coach wanted her to play softball, as the catcher, 'cause he promised his mom he'd have xmas at home. Buying jewelry as a Xmas decoration... Her purse, the Xmas fund... Going Steady, so they can keep Xmas, all year long...
There are, though my kids may not believe this, a few topics i won't tease someone about, if they tell me not to. Names tend to be one of them. But the challenge, ah, the challenge. I'd probably offer a wager, buy lunch if she's heard my joke before.
So I present the following, sung (roughly) to the tune of 12 days of xmas:
The first thing Xmas mentions, about her date with me: The Partridge Family Movie.
The 2nd thing Xmas mentions, about her date with me: Two hours in line
For the Partridge Family Movie.
The 3rd thing Xmas mentions....:
Well, enough build up, we all know how it goes. The final verse:
The 12th thing Christmas mentions, about her date with me
Twelve bucks for parking
Eleven blocks away from
Ten gumdrops stuck to the
Ninth seat we tried
(Eight seats were broken)
Seven feet in front of
Six teens who counted her
Five Trips to Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 'cause of
Four diet sodas with
Three tubs of popcorn after
Two hours in line for
The Partidge Family Movieeeeee
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