Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas Military Aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration form below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. Personal Information

(select from the following) Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss General Admiral Comrade President for Life Classified Other

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? (If purchase was not authorized, select the actual purchase here, and item you desire indicated on your shipping receipt in the box provided.
(select from the following) F-14 Tomcat F-15 Eagle F-16 Falcon F-117A Stealth Classified I dunno, ask the Lieutenant
Please inform my superior I purchased a

3. Date of purchase:

4. Serial Number

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:

(select from the following) Received as gift/aid package Independent arms broker Discount store Catalog showroom Mail Order Government Surplus Classified Other

6. Please select how you became aware of the MD product you have just purchased:

(select from the following) Heard loud noise, looked up Espionage Political lobbying by manufacturer Store display Recommended by friend/family/ally Saw one in an action movie One kicked my butt in combat

7. Please select the factor that most influenced you decision to purchase this MD product:

(select from the following) Style/appearance Price/value Kickback/bribe McDonnell Douglas reputation Backroom politics Speed/maneuverability Comfort/convenience Advanced Weapons Systems One kicked my butt in combat Other

8. Please select the location where this product will be used (for multiple locations, select the 'most used' location.

(select from the following) North America Central/South America Aircraft Carrier Europe Middle East Africa Wimbeldon Asia/Far East Misc Third World Countries Unsure until contract confirmed

9. Please check the products you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

(select from the following) Color TV VCR ICBM Killer Satellite CD Player Air-To-Air Missiles Space Shuttle Home Computer Nuclear Power Technology Nuclear Weapon Technology

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?

(select from the following) Communist/Socialist Terrorist Crazed Neutral Democratic Dictatorship Corrupt Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your MD product?

(select from the following) Deficit Spending Oil revenues Ransom money Cash Personal Check Traveler's Check Suitcases of cocaine Credit Card

12. Your occupation:

(select from the following) Homemaker Clerical Middle Management Defense Minister/General Retired Eccentric Billionaire Mercenary Sales/Marketing Revolutionary Tyrant Student

13. To help us understand our customer's lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis.

(select from the following) Golf Sabotage Gardening Default on loans Crafts Collectibles/Collections Wines Household pets Fashion clothing Border disputes Boating/sailing Running/jogging Propaganda/disinformation Destabilization/overthrow Black market/smuggling Watching sports on TV Manipulating TV sports Crushing rebellions Espionage/reconnaissance Mutually Assured Destruction Fishing

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions? Do not contact the actual McDonnell Douglas Corporation, Aerospace division. This site was created based on an email joke passed around beyond all hope of identifying the source, for the purpose of practicing HTML skills...and showing off.