Annie II: A New Friend

(Chronological index: Includes Ray/Denise's first date and the wedding)

I needed some cheering up. And Annie was curled up in her sleeping bag trying to get over the flu. So I surfed.

The Pets-By-The-Million website had a forum for absolutely anything one might consider a pet. I checked for any exotic stories, then any deals in the huckster booths, then logged into the owners only forum.

Of course, at least half of the regulars weren't really owners, just wannabes, which deepened my mood. I marked it and looked for a conversation worth joining.

Littlepet noticed my mood. "Hey, BigGuy," she posted, "why so down?"

"Got jammed," I replied. A few posters expressed commiseration. One of the newbies asked for an explanation.

"Jealous About My Sylph," I typed. "I coined the phrase, JAMS syndrome. It's a dating problem, when your ___-friend is there for your pet more than for you. If they only date you because you own a tiny little human, you're being jammed. If they hang out at pet stores to see who shops in the sylph aisle, they're jammers. And if they hang out on a sylph-owner's forum, pretending that they own a sylph, it's a JAMS session." I added the 'irony' icon after the post.

Various laughing or nodding smilies replied. Many were conspicuously silent.

I stopped posting for a while, watching the conversation flow. Seems like every one had a 'hey, I'm your date!' story. Cagerider said it was like wearing a push-up bra. The guy never stopped staring at Buster, and she finally had to say, 'I'm up here.'

Littlepet had ended up chasing her date down the salad bar when the women snatched Blossom and took off. Gene/Jean caught his boyfriend wrapping a condom over his little Petster.

LOLsue won the session, though, describing how her fiancé called out her sylph's name at climax. There was much laughter and a few hugs offered.

"But is that problem?" PocketPal asked. "I'd think if someone willing sleep w/ me to play with slyph, I'd take it like a man. If had a slyph, surely would use it to troll chicks."

"If had a slyph?" I replied. "PP (also known as ASL, Lovesylph, highpockets) just illustrates my point." I moved my mood marker to the Deepest Darks and sulked for a bit.

Accusations and counteraccusations of poser flew across the screen for a while. Defenses of 'I didn't mean' shifted to 'you can't prove a goddamned thing' ending with 'you guys think you're so fucking hot because you enslaved someone.'

That was the limit. The moderators aren't fond of non-owners on this particular forum, but they're adamant about not using 'slave' or anything similar. Take that to the political forum, or the PETA-S subforum.

They set to with a will, hitting people with one-day, one-week and permanent bans. As usual. I realized that it wasn't funny this time because I wasn't snarking the predictability of it all with Annie.

I went into the bedroom and slid her drawer open very gently. She was fast asleep, hardly stirring as I tried to gauge her fever by a fingertip against her brow. I estimated that she was over the worst of it, blew her a kiss and tucked her out of sight.

Back at the laptop, a message blinked for my attention. Cutie&Pet wanted to talk privately.

"You're for real, aren't you?" CAP asked/stated.

"Yes. Why?"

"My sylph says you and I could probably get along."

"What?" I asked. "You think we're compatible because we both own exotic pets?"

"Stands to reason," they said. "If we both own one, you know I'm not jamming you."

"For god's sake," I typed back. "The board just spent an hour discussing people who choose dates for the sylphs they own; now you want me to pick you for a date because you own a sylph." Right after I sent that, I quickly typed a PS. "You are talking about a date, right?" Then followed with, "You are a girl, right?"

I don't know why I can never think of these things until after hitting the ENTER key. Maybe it's a secret brain enhancement? If only the SPACE bar made us as smart.

"LOL," Cutie&Pet replied. "Okay, I'm a girl, Pet's a girl. Okay so far?"

"So far."

"Kay. I know you're a guy, or said you're a guy, and you mentioned Annie is a girl. Pet likes hearing your Annie stories and would like to meet her. If that's as far as it goes, so be it. Of course, after all this, you're probably not even in Georgia…"

"I'm not," I admitted. "But what part of Georgia?" There was a long pause. I waited it out.

"Brunswick."

I posted a 'sad' smilie. "Nope. I'm not in Brunswick. Never been there, ever." Then I said, "Ever been to Jacksonville?"

We were about two hours apart from each other. She started listing the places she knew how to get to in Jax. I thought that Regency Mall would be a great place to meet. It was on the northern edge of the city, towards Brunswick. I lived on the south side, almost in Orange Park.

We agreed that the actual half-way point, Kings Bay Naval Base, was a pretty poor choice for a sylph play-date.

Then she started trying to fix a day. She started at the next weekend. I wanted to put it off into the future, just a bit.

"LOL!" she said. "All this crap about posers, now that someone wants to SEE your sylph, you're backing out of it. Pet says you're a poser."

"Annie has the flu!" I told her. "Pet wants to catch it after Annie barfs up her oyster cracker?"

"Pet says she'll forgo that pleasure," they replied in an instant.

We arranged to get together in the mall in two weeks and signed off.

-----

Annie was livid. "You made a date without my input!?!" I just glared at her. Finally she shrugged under her robe and drank her juice. I'd always enjoyed being her caregiver. No one can force fluids like a sylph's owner.

Once she'd drained the little cup, I plucked her up and tucked her into my elbow, against my chest. She grumbled at not being allowed to run around the room, but she was just being contrary. I could feel her legs and arms spread out to gather my body heat. And I could feel her sigh.

"I can still back out," I said, walking over to the computer. "I saved the conversation, just in case you noticed something I missed. About Cutie or Pet."

"Oooh!" the little gossip hound said happily, twisting to look at the screen. As she did, though, her robe fell open and the room air snaked in to caress her torso. "Yaaah!" she squealed and curled up into a little ball.

I cupped the whimpering thing in both hands and cuddled her to my cheek. She shivered til her teeth rattled. "Maybe…later," she forced out.

----

The time passed quickly. Cagerider started a 'who wants to date an owner' thread in the general sylph forum. PP's new identity started a 'who wants to share their slyph' thread. That one got locked four times for language violations. And on this forum that took some doing.

Cutie and I were both pretty quiet on the boards. We exchanged a few messages, deciding to meet in the food court, near the arcade.

Saturday morning, my pet spent half an hour on her hair. It took an hour, but she multitasked, spending as much time criticizing my appearance.

"Look, it's just a meet," I complained as I swapped shirts yet again.

"It's a first date, very important," she said, tapping a finger to her mouth as she looked me over.

"You never bitched this much about any other date."

"This one has potential," she said, nodding and running the toothbrush head through her hair one last time.

I glanced at the time and held out my hand. She started to climb into it.

"No, no," I said. "Your clothes."

"What?"

"You should probably be naked, at least until we get to know them. If we hit it off, I'll give them back." She just stared up at me. "Don't be like that, most people don't let their sylphs wear clothes."

"But you do!" she said, arms wrapping around her chest and shoulders.

"Right, but we're weird. We don't want to scare them off too soon. Same reason you wouldn't let me send her a list of fourteen recognition protocols to prevent mistakes in meeting." Annie tries hard to keep my engineer side locked out of site in public.

She backed away, shaking her head. "Maybe Cutie lets her sylph go around dressed."

"She named her sylph 'Pet.' Just how much respect do you think she has for tiny shrunken darlings?"

"That's her screen name! Like Cutie or BigGuy!" She turned and ran behind her privacy screen. I picked it up and placed it on the shelf above her. She scrambled for the wardrobe. I caught her around the waist and lifted her up.

"I know Cutie and BigGuy aren't real, but I do refer to you as 'Annie' on the boards. So Pet's probably Pet for real." I could have stripped her there, but I kinda felt like having her on my side for this date. Okay, yeah, it was a date. "Come on, Annie. Be nice. If Pet's naked when you show up in your pretty dress, she'll feel like crap."

"Well, then, what if Pet's dressed when I show up naked? Huh? Think of that?" She kicked a bit, but not too angrily. She was at about 4 on the Annie Force Scale.

"Yes," I said with a smile, stroking her hair. "And with your kickin' figure, nice tan, and beautiful face, you'll still be the prettiest woman on the table."

"It is a nice tan," she murmured, looking at us in the mirror.

"No lines," I agreed.

"Oh, all right." She shifted in my grip and reached for her buttons.

----

Cutie had to drive 3/4ths of the distance between us, but she got to drive on the open freeway. I had to negotiate Jax traffic, so she was already seated when we got to the food court.

I saw a woman sitting about where we'd agreed, reading a paperback copy of Fear And Loathing. She had auburn hair, looked to be about my age or a little younger.

On the table in front of her, a very young, very naked sylph was trying to get a handful of Orange Julius out of a cup that was taller than she was. She was also trying to keep from getting any of the sticky beverage on her skin.

I stopped near the table and gestured at the pocket book. "I have always loved that book. I think I've read it fifteen times since I picked it up in high school."

"I'm not so fond of it," she said without looking up. "But I do really, really like the expressions people sometimes show when they walk by."

"Oooh," I said, "I like that. I really hope you're Cutie, and you're Pet." I picked Annie out of my pocket and placed her on the table. She walked over and started talking with the sylph.

Cutie put her book down and smiled at me. "Lucky for you, you don't have to dump poor Cutie to hang out with me." She offered her hand and we shook. "Hi, BigGuy, I'm Denise."

"Ray," I said. "This is Annie."

"And this is Pet," she replied. I nodded at the tiny one, skipping over the opportunity to say, 'I told you so.'

"Pet's very young," I said. "And I think I remembered you posted, somewhere, that you'd had her for fifteen years? Does that mean she.."

"Yes," Denise replied. "She was born a sylph."

Annie gasped. "Does that mean you were never…" She hiked a thumb towards the ceiling, "Tall?"

"Nope. Were you?" Pet asked.

"I shrank on The Day," Annie said. They started comparing their experiences, sitting down at the side of Denise's cup. She and I spoke a bit, comparing our pets.

I felt very relaxed around Denise, more than I'd ever been around someone I'd just met. She seemed a perfect match. I was afraid it was too good to be true, but it was certainly worth spending time with her to find out.

"Well," I finally said, "I was wondering if you'd like to do something more than just hang out at the Food Court?"

"What are my options?"

"Oh, there's the beach, there's the movie theatre, there's a miniature golf course across the road-"

"You're kidding?"

"Nope," I said, crossing my heart. "There's even a sylph course."

"Is that some sort of a crack?" Pet asked. I'd almost forgotten she was there. Annie assured her it wasn't.

"That might be fun," Denise said with a nod. I noticed that she glanced down for Pet's reaction before agreeing. I was torn between liking that she respected her pet and worrying that I was going to end up having to keep two people happy on one date.

"Well?" Annie asked. "Are we going, or what?" Make that three people.

"Um, before we go," Denise said, reaching into her purse. "I hope you don't think I'm weird, but…" She opened her hand and showed me a pair of tiny yellow shorts and a white tank top with yellow trim.

"Ah-HAH!" Annie yelled. "I TOLD you so!"

------

We watched the girls get dressed, complimenting each other on their clothes, then I held out a hand to help Denise stand. She swayed a bit, then collapsed against me. I grabbed her and started to ease her down into her seat. That's when she threw up.

There wasn't much in her stomach. Just half a Julius and a lot of blood. "Oh, dear," she said. "I don't feel so good."

"Denny?" Pet called. She started to step towards the edge of the table but Annie grabbed her arm and kept her away from the puddles. I got Denise down on the ground, head pillowed by her purse.

"Okay, let's elevate your legs and keep blood in your brain," I told her. I slipped out my phone and put it on the table by Annie. She opened it and started to dial for an ambulance. She kept Pet near her, asking for Denise's full name.

I ran over to the nearest food vendor and started grabbing napkins. The woman behind the register got as far as 'for paying customers' when she saw the blood on my arm. Then she whipped out a large towel and handed it over.

"Thanks," I said, "and could you please call for mall security?"

I had Denise cleaned up by the time a guard showed up. I was keeping her talking. The guard saw the bloody towel and took charge of keeping the area clear.

Denise was worried about Pet. "Would it be…an imposition?" she asked.

"Of course not," I assured her. Sylph owners are terrified of hospitals. Your wallet and watch can fit inside a large Ziploc and get locked in a drawer. They've never really come up with a secure way to keep living pets, some of which are motivated to escape. If one disappears, they shrug and assume it was unhappy in your care.

The only worse place to leave a sylph, statistically, was in a hotel room.

I took charge of her purse and Pet, all her valuables except her insurance card, ID and phone. I promised to follow the ambulance to Baptist and to take care of Pet.

Just as the EMTs came through the doors, she grabbed my wrist and glared at me. "This isn't a date," she said. "If you tell our grandchildren that I bled to death on our first date, I'll never forgive you!"

"If you bleed to death…" Annie started to point out. I cut her off and squeezed Denise's hand.

"Of course not. It's not a date. We never got to the date part. It's just something that happened on the way to the date."

"Got that straight," she murmured. Then the guys were pushing me out of the way and taking charge.

I hung around until they closed the ambulance doors. Pet waved from my pocket as they drove off, Annie holding her around the shoulders.

"We're following?" Pet asked. She seemed a bit forceful because I was turning around and going back inside.

"In a minute," I promised. "In a minute. Annie, doesn't the neighbor have a kid that works here?"

"The record store," she said.

"Ah, yeah. Gabby." I pulled out my car keys and jogged around the corner.

Gabby recognized me and Annie, expressed sympathy for Pet's woes, and promised that she'd drive my car back to my house. Then I got Denise's keys and asked Pet where they were parked.

It was more complicated than I'd imagined. Pet had never been full-sized, had never parked a car, had never even walked on her own across a parking lot.

She described the car as 'huge,' only barely remembered landmarks and was getting more and more upset about the delay, which just added more delay.

"Well, can't you see it?" she wailed. "It's…yellow. And the upholstery is white. Except where it's red. And the carpet is-"

"We can't see the carpet, honey," Annie told her gently. "And there are a lot of cars. If he holds you up, can you see it or anything that you recognize?"

With Annie's help, from her shared perspective and distant memories of height, we figured out which door they'd come through and which general area they'd parked in.

Then I just walked up and down the rows, pressing the horn button on the keychain until it responded.

It was a cute little compact, kept meticulously clean, with a custom built carrier for Pet to ride in. There was plenty of room for both girls so we were soon off to the hospital.

When I finally got someone to answer my questions, Denise had been stabilized, diagnosed, surgeried and was going to be in recovery for a day or two.

They told me I could go home. She was asleep and unlikely to wake before midnight. I thought about how frantic Pet had been on the drive down here.

It'd be about as long to get home from here, and then back again tomorrow. I wasn't going to put the three of us through that sort of a session again. I found some magazines and set up camp in the waiting room.

About 10:30, a nurse told me that she was awake and I could have two minutes.

"Thanks," I told her, lightly jostling my pocket. "But they're not my minutes."

Denise was drowsy and in a little pain, but she roused enough to assure Pet that she was okay. Pet cried on her bosom. I hovered to grab the sylph if she started to fall.

When the sobbing finally ran down, I heard sniffling coming from my own pocket. "Okay, time to get out." I promised Denise and Pet that we'd be back in the morning, told Denise that I'd keep her car at my place so it wouldn't get towed, then we went home.

Pet started bawling in the elevator. Annie just held her in the pocket and rocked back and forth. She also held her in the carrier. And when I put them in the drawer. At least the sobbing had trailed off, somewhere around San Marco.

------

We all got to bed on inertia. Morning was a bit of an adjustment for everyone. Annie and I usually shared a shower. I didn't want to leave Pet alone and really didn't want to infringe on her just yet.

Annie looked up when I opened the drawer and gave me a once over. She just gave a slight nod at the fact that I was wearing the robe for once.

The girls were curled up together under the quilted socks. Pet gazed up at me, eyes wide and staring. Like most sylphs, she seldom spent time with a human unless her owner was there.

And we hadn't really had time to develop trust between us. I could be about to do anything to her. Or have Annie do things as I watched. I tried to put her at ease before she hyperventilated herself unconscious.

"Um…you guys want to bathe before breakfast?" I asked. Annie let Pet decide. I took my shower first, alone, then ran hot water into the sink. I carried them in to have a bath while I got dressed.

No one said anything aloud, but we did get through dressing and breakfast in a hurry. We all wanted to be at the hospital in time for visiting hours.

Pet balked just a bit at going in my car. "Trust me, sweetheart," Annie explained, "it's better if the registration, license and insurance all have the same name on them."

"But he drove our car last night," she complained.

"But it's not an emergency today. It'll be okay. I'll show you my stand." Annie's mount for car travel was an old ammo box I'd fixed up in shop class. We'd been customizing it for years.

I lowered the two to the carpeting and closed the lid. While I headed to the hospital, I heard them discussing the windows, the periscope, the hammock and all the little details that she or I had thought up. If nothing else, it distracted Pet from her worries until we got to the parking lot.

She yipped when I stepped into the waiting room. A woman looked up at the sound and stood. I thought she looked similar to Denise even before she admitted to being her sister, Carla. I handed Pet over after a quick summary of who the hell I was and why I had the sylph. I also gave her Denise's purse.

Carla had gotten rather more information out of the doctors, since she was actually family. She stroked Pet, reassuring her, and the rest of us, that Denise was going to be fine. There would be another day at the hospital, then a week confined to a bed.

"You guys are going to stay with me," Carla said happily. Well, the happiness was clearly forced. What was wrong?

Pet started to bawl again. Carla tried to soothe her. Just then a nurse announced visiting hours and Carla strode off.

"What was that about?" I wondered aloud. Annie shrugged. I went back to my chair in the corner and waited.

Carla came back, alone, and said that Denise wanted to see Annie and me. Pet was curled up in her hands. She'd stopped crying but was still sniffling. Her owner stroked her back and shoulders.

Denise thanked us both for taking care of Pet. "No problem," I said. "She's a good guest." I was wondering how to ask about the thing with Carla.

Annie hardly paused to consider that it might not be our business and asked, "What's bugging her about your sister's place?" I suspect that the more time one spends stark naked in public, the less taboos one gives a rat's ass about.

"Carla owns a cat," Denise said quietly. Annie gasped, I sighed and Pet looked like she was about to cry again.

"I don't," I said quickly. "Maybe we'd all sleep better if she stayed with us a little longer."

"Yeah!" Annie cheered. Pet gazed up at me hopefully. Denise just relaxed and sank back against her pillow. I realized I'd made exactly the right offer, without making her plead.

"Okay, then, I'll bring her here as long as you're in the hospital, then find some way to get her and your car up to Brunswick next weekend."

I grabbed a note pad from beside the phone and wrote my work, home and cell numbers, and Annie's number.

"You have a phone?" Pet asked while Denise wrote down her and Carla's contact info. The wonder helped wipe out the last of Pet's tears.

"When he feels generous," Annie said. "Usually it's out of reach except for a half hour a week."

"I'll leave it in reach all week," I promised. "And Pet can call whenever she feels the need."

"What about the minutes?" Annie protested. "Anything over ten costs major bucks!" Denise started to sit up.

"It's okay, I have unlimited minutes," I admitted. My pet looked scandalized.

"You lying bastard," she said and elbowed me in the chest. I actually felt it, the bony little harridan.

"And on that note, I'll retreat," I said. "I'll be back at the end of visiting hours to pick up Pet. You two visit." Denise thanked me, Pet waved goodbye to Annie and my sylph sulked for the next two hours. Carla found it 'quaint' that I suffered such a snit from a sylph.

"Reminds me of Denny and Pet," she said. Annie flashed her a quick smile, then went back to glaring at me.

------

Pet was more subdued for the drive home that afternoon. No wailing, and she started to take an interest in our drive through the city.

I had nothing better to do so I took the scenic route. Annie pointed out places she recognized (We ate here, we ate there, we eat at that place all the time), alternating the guided tour with private little whisperings.

Finally she decided to share her evil scheme with me. "You know, boss, Pet's been wearing the same clothes for two days."

"So have you," I said.

"Well, I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, like a poor relative, or anything."

"You want to loan her some of your clothes." I aimed the car for the mall, knowing how this conversation would end. "I grant you permission to do so."

"She's not my size," my pet lied. "She needs some new things, all her stuff is all the way up in Brunswick."

"Okay. I can spring for a week's worth of clothes at the pet store." Annie would rather go naked than wear clothes from the pet store. I know this for a fact. She curled her tiny fists and stomped out of the carrier.

"We do NOT make guests wear scratchy crap!" she shouted from a perch on the emergency brake.

"Then you're going to want to be naked, too, so she won't feel self conscious." I shifted lanes to avoid a tourist twisting towards an exit ramp. Annie nearly tumbled as I swerved around them. Pet scurried over to help her regain her feet.

Annie opened her mouth to yell at me, then shifted to her manipulative voice. "You know, Denise would be real impressed if you got Pet some boutique outfits."

Pet shook her head but Annie shushed her before she could complain.

"No," I said after a moment, "Denise already thinks she owes me. If anything, she'd think she needs to buy you some boutique garments."

"Oh." Annie sat down on the edge of the CD rack to think that over. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pet sit near her, then scoot closer and closer.

They were still quiet when I pulled into the parking garage. Annie looked up as the Florida sun stopped shining through the windows. "Hey…"

I parked and shut of the engine, then turned to face my two passengers. "Pet, I don't want you uncomfortable. And I can see that Annie's having a blast with a roommate. So how about four moderate-priced outfits? Mostly as a thank you for the fun I think the two of you are going to have this week?"

And, of course, to take her mind off Denise as much as possible, for as long as possible. She nodded slowly, until Annie winked at her. Then they both showed a bit more enthusiasm.

I couldn't get Pet clothes without getting Annie some new things, of course. I ended up getting six outfits for each of them, because Annie just couldn't be forced to decide between them.

I admitted that I couldn't see any one being more critical than any of the others. It was explained. Something about her being a Fall Colors woman and my fashion sense being about as enlightened as a seagull's.

Of course, she made sure that she asked while between suits. Standing there on the counter, beautifully naked and looking up at me with her little pout, I can almost never deny her what she asks for. It's worked for her since I went through puberty.

Pet was a little more self conscious while trying things on, at least at first. I wouldn't leave them alone, not out in public, but Annie made a point of being at least partially undressed whenever Pet was, and I made a point of staring at my pet, not Pet. Between us, we got her through it.

After that I bought the weekly lottery tickets and ice cream. Pet sat on the lip of the sundae, watching Annie try to pick one of the five tickets. She got to keep whatever that one won, and made a production out of making the choice.

Pet giggled as Annie sorted them, sniffed them, examined them from all angles, chose, changed her mind, chose again, danced in frustration and finally made her final final choice.

Then she knelt on the surface and scratched it with a nickel. She squealed as she discovered that she'd won a dollar. "I can buy my weight in gummy bears!" she shouted in glee.

"Not again," I moaned. "It takes you forever to finish them. Then I keep finding half-bears. Half a bear in my sock drawer, half a bear stuck to my car keys, half a bear-"

"It's MY DOLLAR!" she insisted. "And YOU PROMISED!" She stood on the ticket, arms crossed and eyes in slits. We stared for a moment.

"This time," I finally said, "each one stays in the plastic bag until you eat it." She smiled and ran for my hand. I lifted her to my cheek and she planted a big wet kiss on me.

------

Sunday night I was on the forum again, as per my usual schedule. Denise hadn't given me permission to identify Pet in my Annie story, so I was coy about naming the second sylph.

"…so we get home," I typed. "Annie splits a gummy bear with her guest, I drop the clothing on the sofa and go online.

"I pretty much ignored them as I surfed. They snarfed a significant amount of the sugar, bounced around the kitchen for a while, then drifted towards the sofa. I still didn't look over as they climbed up and started mixing and matching clothing.

"I turned on power to the remote missile launcher. The one with Nerf missiles? I've got a pic in my profile. I gotta say, I've been waiting two years for this. Ever since I bought the thing, Annie's been paranoid about it. She always wants to see what I'm doing on the computer, or hears the motor, or sees the laser. Then she's under cover before I can lock on.

"Well, she doesn't know that I've replaced the targeting laser with a mini-camera. And she was talking (and giggling and squealing) too much to hear the motor. And couldn't see the screen…"

I posted a screenshot of my sight picture just before launch. Annie's in the crosshairs, holding a shirt up to her chest while Pet looks on critically. (I blurred Pet's features, naturally).

Then I posted the screen right after I shot. Annie's upside down in a pile of attire, a big foam missile between her and the rapidly retreating figure of Pet. Very rapidly. I didn't even have to take any steps to blur her.

"I laughed for the last half hour. Very much worth the cost of twelve outfits, to have them that distracted. The guest calmed down quickly, ending up laughing at Annie's profanity. The missile had wedged her ass into the space between two sofa cushions and she couldn't get out without my help.

"And I couldn't help until I could breathe…."

Response to the story was mixed. Guys tended to laugh, women tended to call me misogynistic. I let them discuss it and got Annie's phone down. I opened it on the floor and stepped back.

Pet stared at it. Annie stared at Pet. Pet noticed and stared at Annie. "What?"

"Are you going to call Denise?"

"Me? It's your phone."

"She's your owner."

"Oh." Annie talked her through the dialing. It looked like someone giving CPR to a droid. Once Denise picked up, I plucked Annie off the floor and took her into the kitchen.

"What the hell?"

"You don't need to watch Pet cry," I said, placing her on the counter.

"Yeah, probably not," she agreed. I poured a drink, let her dip two cups out of it, then slowly carried her back to my desk. Pet was folding the case shut and wiping her eyes.

"I made a call!" she said, trying to sound cheerful.

"You sure did," Annie said. "Now, let me show you how to call this sylph I know in Charleston."

I let them play as I checked the board. The conversation had shifted to 'things I have done to my sylph' stories. Links to Keith's list of ways to drive your sylph insane were posted by three different people. Tinycate posted her list of ways for sylphs to dryve theyr ownyr insayne.

Additions were suggested for both lists. Someone said tinycate should be sillycate. Some people suggested that tinycate was really Keith. The years-old debate raged across the board once more.

Before I knew it, it was time for bed. I got the girls and all their loot put away and got undressed. I've light-proofed the drawer so her tiny nightlight didn't bother me as I tried to sleep.

The giggling, though, that kept me up a while. I flipped my pillow over, then pulled a quarter-gummy-bear out of my ear. "New rule," I muttered, "no more sugar within twenty three hours of bedtime."

------

After all that, Monday morning came early. WAY early. The phone rang at 3 AM. I know because before I could even focus on the clock, Chipper was saying, "Dude, I hate to wake up you at oh three hundred, but we have a problem. And this project has to be sent to the customer by ten."

I listened, swore and started getting dressed. Just before I left, I eased Annie's drawer open. She was sprawled across her bed. Pet had rolled up in the blankets like a blonde hot dog, rolled off the bed and came to rest next to the bandaid box that was the dresser.

She snored while my pet stared up at me. "Emergency?" she asked.

"The system's crashed. I have to go in. I probably won't be back in time to take Pet to Denise before she's discharged. You guys'll have to call and explain."

"Okay," she said. "We're on independent ops until the lord and master returns."

"Yeah. Uh, tell Pet I'll make it up to her." I made sure the rope ladder was in place, that food, water and the phone were in reach and headed in to the office.

Some time around nine I finally had a chance to breathe. The FX guys were pounding away at the final polish and looked to meet the deadline. I sat at my desk and turned on my phone.

I returned Denise's expected call, catching her in her sister's car. "We're passing Yulee," she told me.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"A little tender, but okay. Sorry you had to work."

"Yeah, I'm crucial, but I try to use my powers only for good. Or at least high-paying evil."

"I can live with that," she said. "So, I'll probably see you guys on the weekend?" She was trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew that if I was Annie-free for a week I'd miss her terribly.

"Yeah. We'll have to arrange something. Hey, can you keep a secret?" I gave her a website address. "It's my sylph surveillance site. I have little webcams hidden in the apartment. You should be able to catch a sight of Pet now and then."

"That's great. Does Annie know about them?"

"No," I assured her. "She was always in the bath or asleep or something when I installed each one. I don't use them too often, but they're there in case I need them."

"Thanks," she said. "I'll, uh, I'll call you tonight."

"Looking forward to it," I told her. I hung up then called the surveillance page. Annie and Pet were stringing yarn across the living room. It was either a giant trap or the beginnings of a tent city. I laughed and started logging my work for the morning.

----

It was a giant trap. I walked blithely into the snare and thrashed around on the ground for a while.

"Oop. Awp. Darn. I'm trapped. Unable to move. Help. Oh help." I waited.

Pet marched out with a bottle-cap helmet and carrying a skewer as a lance. We stared at each other.

"Go on," Annie stage- whispered.

"You, giant, have trespassed on the lands of the little…" She paused.

"Say it," Annie urged. "He won't hurt you."

"The lands of the little bitches," Pet shouted, then cringed against my reaction.

"I went to college, Pet. I've heard worse. Go on. You were threatening me?"

"Yes. YES! You have become my prisoned. Our prison. You are our prisoner. You must-"

"We demand…"

"We demand that you offer your parole. And that parole is to take us out to dinner."

"What is your pleasure, oh little bitch warrior maiden?"

"We wanna go to Hooters!"

Annie always enjoys the attention sylphs get at those joints. I always enjoy sitting next to the sylph getting the attention. I promised to comply and they set about untying me.

"First, though, I need to wash up. And I think I need to trim my mustache." I picked Annie up. "I can never get the sides even without her help," I told Pet. "You go ahead and get ready for dinner."

I rushed up the stairs and started water running in the sink. With the door shut and a floor between us, Pet probably couldn't hear me if I whispered.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"It was fine," she assured me. "Kept her busy, but we got a few naps in. I think she's been overstimulated for the last couple of days." I nodded. "And I made sure to keep her on one or another camera as much as possible."

I stared at her for a second. She twisted a bit in my hand. "Did I do good?" she asked. "I mean, I figured you told Denise about the cameras, right? And she'd want to be sure Pet was okay?"

"You did great," I said. I pushed a shoulder gently, laying her flat across my palm. Then i lifted the hem of her shirt with a fingernail and planted a big wet French kiss on her belly. She shrieked and kicked her feet in glee.

I don't know why this drives her crazy, but it does. And she'd certainly earned it. "Come on," I said, once she was reduced to a gasping puddle of joy. "Let's go to dinner."

"Aye, aye, master," she panted. I pulled the shirt back into place and we went out.

----------

Tuesday, I had a whole new Annie story and I wasn't the first to find out. I was driving home when the phone rang.

"Hey, Ray, this is Carla. Have you checked your webcams recently?"

"Carla? No. Why?"

"Oh, maybe you should."

"Um…okay. I'm nearly home as it is. Why…"

"Why am I calling? Because Denise is laughing so hard, I fear for her stitches."

Annie had been a cheerleader in high school on the Day. Before she shrank, she'd been a popular girl and an active youth. Pet's mother had been pregnant when she became a sylph. The girl had never experienced a lot of things Annie thought were important. Or things that Annie's nostalgia made important.

So she'd been telling Pet all about what it was like to go driving, to disco, dances, organized sports, sleepovers, haunted houses, roller coasters, cooking, camping, spelunking and anything else that came to mind. It appeared that she'd decided that talk was insufficient.

The girls were trapped on the kitchen counter when I walked in, on the dining room side of the closed pass-through.

A tennis ball was on the floor, half covered with silver glitter. I didn't think it looked like a mirror ball from a disco, and don't think it ever would have, but that's just my opinion.

The spilled bottle of glitter on the counter did not enhance the disco effect Annie had been trying for. And the glue just set entirely the wrong ambiance.

The girls turned stiffly towards me as I got closer. The rope ladder to the floor was still in place, but they could never have managed it without falling.

They wore more glitter than the tennis ball and looked like extras in a rather impressionist version of the Wizard of Oz. The dried glue made their movements nicely robotic, I'll give them that. And the dirt and dust that had stuck on gave them that neglected-in-the-forest look.

"You both wanted to be the tin woodsman, I take it?"

"It's my fault," Annie started to say.

"I know that," I told her. I picked them up carefully and set them in a soup bowl. There they waited until I had the rest of the glue and glitter cleaned up.

I clucked my tongue here and there. The sparkling footprints I understood. How two six-inch-tall girls got glitterprints eight inches up the wall, though…

Then I carried them upstairs and ran water in the sink. The hot water softened the glue and allowed me to remove their clothes, then wash them off.

What was weird was that Pet got more and more uncomfortable as she became less grubby. "Is this an Annie story you're going to tell online?" she asked. I picked her up to my face and stroked her wet hair back from her face.

"Well, Pet, I can't really imagine not sharing this with the world. Why?"

"Denise is…" She covered her face and gave a small sniffle. "She's going to say she's disappointed."

"No, no, no," I said. I gave her a gentle hug with my fingers. "First off, she's going to blame Annie more than you."

"A lot more," Annie said from under the faucet. She was scrubbing the last bit of paste from her hips.

"Second, she's laughing. Hard enough that she can feel each stitch in her belly." Pet looked up, eyes wide. "Oh. There's a camera pointed at the pass-through. And your owner can access it. To see that you're alright."

She was trying to decide if that was good news or bad as I finished. I wrapped them each in a washcloth to dry and carried them to the computer desk.

"Let's see what the forum thinks of Silly Sylphs," I said heartily. Annie groaned and tried to kick her way out of the wrap.

------

Saturday, I was at the rest stop by 9 am. Pet and Annie walked around on the glass case over the scale model of Jax as we waited. A few tourists got pics of the two posing over the Jaguars' stadium before Carla and Denise showed up.

Carla and I shook hands while Pet and Denise had a tearful reunion. Then I had to hold Annie, who was also overcome by emotion. "You're such a sop," I told her.

"And you're a Neanderthal," she replied. "All the emotions of a fossilized skull." Carla laughed, kissed her sister and pet the sylph, then set out for home.

In the car, Pet was quite concerned about Denise's health. "Are you okay? You look pale. Are you going to take a nap before we go home? They've got a spare bedroom. You can sleep there if you're tired. I'll stay up and watch over you. It'll be-"

"I'm fine, Pet," Denise insisted. "But look at you! Is that your new outfit?"

The girls related their adventures while I drove. Denise seemed enthralled with every word, expression and the little pantomimes they acted out.

Instead of going straight to my house and her car, I stopped at work. As I turned into the parking lot the girls started to giggle. Denise looked at me quizzically.

"We never got as far as discussing what we do for a living," I said. "I work for a special effects company. We've done work for some indie movies, but mostly we aim for museums, or some of the smaller theme parks." I handed her out of the passenger seat and led the way to the front door. Annie and Pet rode on her shoulders, trying to suppress laughter. "I don't do any of the effects, but I keep the computer systems running so other guys can."

The guard was expecting us and let us by without comment. I headed for the Playroom. "So when Chipper found out where I was supposed to be Monday, he came up with a little apology."

I held out my hands and took the sylphs. Then I nodded towards the sofa. "I need to take your picture, first."

"Ah. I get it," she said as she sat down. "You're going to put me on the bridge of the Enterprise? Or the bow of the Titanic? Something like that?"

"Yep, sort of," I said. I put the girls down next to a gray box beside a large computer terminal. They ran inside while I called up the program.

I got the computer adjusted then turned on the big-screen TV. Denise waved to herself then sat still. Then her jaw dropped. In the image, Pet sat beside her. Same scale. They did the little double-take thing for a minute, then carefully positioned themselves.

When they were satisfied that it looked like they were together, I hit print. I played with it a bit more and got a pic of Pet holding a tiny Denise in her hand, then one of Annie holding both of them and finally a couple shots of the three of them having tea in a dollhouse.

Denise was flipping through the glossies as I drove home. "Okay," she finally said in a soft breath. "Okay, this can count as a date."

-----

It was eight months before the wedding. Carla claims that it was the quickest she'd allow such a life-altering event. Denise claims it was just that she wanted an April wedding.

I know it took that long to come up with a tuxedo for my Best Man.

Chipper's team's wedding gift was the Sylph Ceremonial Procession Platform. A tiny tractor that Annie drove up the central aisle while Pet fired the rose-petal cannon in all directions. Carla led the bridesmaids behind the vehicle.

When the SCPP reached the front pew, Carla picked up Pet and set her on the Maid Of Honor pedestal. I put Annie next to me on the Best Man pedestal. My dad swung the tractor out of the way.

I glanced down as Denise started up the aisle. Annie beamed and gave me a thumbs-up. The Ring was secure on a silk baldric over her shoulder.

The minister had been a bit miffed about sylphs having official positions in the ceremony. My mom had actually expressed her opinions about his reservations faster than Annie could get a word in. We were all very impressed.

The rest of the day and evening passed in a sort of haze. I know we got the vows right. I remember 'you may now kiss.' I remember the girls cheering as we cut the cake. I remember dancing with Denise, Pet and Annie, I think in that order. And I do remember that night very clearly.

But that part of the story isn't any of your business.



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