Annie XXXVI: Escalation

(Chronological index: Ray/Denise Married, Ruth known)

Pet and Annie waited impatiently while the new CD uploaded into the computer.

As soon as it ejected, Annie grabbed the mouse. Pet pushed the buttons and Ke$ha started to sing about the party life.

The sylphs grabbed their toy microphones and sang along. Pet got an odd look on her face. Before Annie could spin around to see the cause, a burst of warm air and cold liquid lifted her skirt.

"EEEK!" she shrieked. When she turned, she found Ray sticking his straw back in his soda. That meant the icy drop plastering her panties to her ass was Coke.

"What the HELL?" she asked.

"Just trying to help," he said cheerfully. She thought furiously.

"The lyrics are TRYING ON all our clothes, boys blowing up OUR PHONES!" she growled.

"Oh," he said. Then he shrugged and got up.

"Should I hit replay, Annie?"

"No, Pet," Annie said. "Not until I change, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," Pet replied. "Is it cold? It looked cold."

Annie stripped off her underwear and started the long walk to the living room carrier. "Why didn't you tell me he was sneaking up with a bendy-straw?"

Pet rushed to keep up with her roommate. "Because I wanted to see what you'd do to get even," she said.

Annie stopped in mid step. "No," she said after a moment. "What you want is to help me get even."

"Maybe," Pet said with a smile.

-----

Annie made it to the top of the headboard. .

She checked the breathing of the two humans, then unslung the dental floss from her shoulder. Two quick tugs warned her confederate, then she pulled the load up.

Once it was a foot off the floor, Pet swarmed up the power cord for the lamp. They worked together to get the pixie stix up.

Three of the straws and the floss went into making a frame that let them extend the fourth straw out over Ray's pillow.

They kept it at an up angle until it was as far out as it would go. Then they let the hanging end drop, a few degrees at a time. Sugary dust slowly poured out and onto Ray's face.

Pet had a hard time not laughing. The powder landed more or less on his face and he didn't react.

He did rub his nose once, smearing the pixie dust across his face and lips, but then he was still again.

Denise started to sniff. They raised the straw and stopped the pouring. They watched as she moved closer and closer to Ray, still apparently asleep.

Annie clapped a hand over Pet's mouth as the woman started to lick sugar from Ray's face. The saliva left smears across his face, glistening in the moonlight coming in through the window.

They retracted the straw and folded it shut. Then they leaned out to watch more. Ray had noticed that he was getting attention and rolled over sleepily to kiss his wife.

She wasn't amorous, though, and avoided his lips to lick more off his cheeks.

The two imps could hardly keep from laughing as the two fenced in their sleep, lips against tongue.

Then Denise's face, kiss slicked, started to pick up the powder off the pillow. Ray started to lick that. They fell into a gentle rhythm, licking and being licked until they ran down like wind-up toys.

Annie tasted blood from her bite on her cheek, but she'd managed to keep quiet. She gestured and they started to dismantle the stix.

The first thing Ray noticed in the morning was how dry his mouth felt. Then the flavor. Something sour-sweet coated his tongue, teeth, cheeks…

And his cheeks were stuck to the pillow. He opened his eye to find his wife sleeping with weird, sparkly makeup on.

And a line of green drool connected her fact to his pillow, too.

"I'm going to kill Annie," he muttered.

"That's nice," Denise murmured. She licked at her teeth and lips. "I need to brush my teeth. For a while."

She opened her eyes. Ray saw confusion on her face. Under the green streaks and blobs, of course.

Then she started laughing. Tiny matching giggles came from the drawer.

---------

Annie declined the ritual shower that morning. Ray didn't care. He picked her up and turned towards the bathroom. Then he turned around slowly.

Pet had her face pushed deeply into her mattress, her body shivering. He pinched one ankle and lifted the sylph into the air.

She hung upside down before his face, trying to look innocent.

"Pet?" he asked. "What do you know about Annie dumping three pixie stix on Denise and me during the night?"

"It was only one stick," she protested, "because we…" Pet slowed down when she realized Annie was signaling for silence. She swung below his grip for a moment. "I wuv ooo," she said hopefully.

"Uh-huh," he muttered. He turned her right-side up and carried them into the bathroom.

"I'm not done yet!" the shower curtain yelled. "I'm shampooing. Again!"

"Understood," Ray replied. "Need any detail workers to clean the crap out of your ears?"

"Workers? Plural?"

"Yes. As in conspirators."

Denise pulled the curtains back and looked out. Flecks of green dotted the curds of shampoo in her red hair.

Naked sylphs looked guiltily back at her. She reached for the blonde one. "C'mere, you!"

Annie looked up at her master, green smears highlighting his expression. It wasn't a good expression. "Um… Um… Wash your face for you, Master?"

"Oh, GROSS!" Pet shouted from somewhere in the shower.

"Shut up and scrub," Denise growled.

"Yes," Ray said. "When it's our turn." Annie gulped.

-------

The sylphs were grounded for the rest of the day. "For a start," Ray said. They stayed inside the carrier and read.

Pet wasn't a hardened criminal like some. The punishment wasn't bad, but she was far more upset that Denise was upset with her. She would moan every so often.

"Pet?"

"Yes, Annie?"

"If there was a hurricane, and the house collapsed, would Denise hesitate to search the wreckage to save you? Even if it was dangerous for her?"

"Um… No. I think she'd dive right in."

"Then why are you worried that she's going to give you away in anger?"

"I'm not…" She sighed and shook her head. "I guess it's silly."

"Not silly," Annie assured her. She leaned back on the sofa they'd made out of a case for sunglasses. "Just shortsighted." She held out an arm. Pet moved over for a hug.

"Besides. It was funny, wasn't it?" Pet giggled. "And some day, they won't be mad and you can tell her just how funny it was."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Wait. In 2012? Ask me about diving boards."

-----

Two hours after both of the humans were home, they suddenly weren't mad anymore.

Pet laughed and clapped when Denise talked to her sylph without her eyes being all flinty.

Ray was also his usual self. Annie just waited for the other shoe to drop.

Dinner was pancakes and bacon. Halfway through her serving, Annie became suspicious. She walked over to the syrup bottle and around to the front.

The stuff was sugar free.

She didn't panic, not just yet. But a brief look around the kitchen confirmed her fears. The bag of chips on the counter was fat-free. The milk on the table was skim.

"So, the candy in the dish is sugar free, I assume?" she asked.

"Nope," Ray said. "White chocolate." He took a big, happy bite of bacon as she made gagging sounds. "Mmmm," he said. "Can hardly tell it's tofu."

She walked carefully up to his plate and looked him in the eye. "Of course you realize, this means war."

"Yep," he said.

Annie nodded and went back to her plate. Pet watched her carefully. "You might want to play Switzerland for the next few days, Pet."

"No… No, I'm with you, Annie. We're in this together. Although. Well, sylph metabolism needs calories. Lots of calories."

"He knows that, Pet," Annie said. "They're just trying to make a point. See," she said in a lecturing tone. "Humans don't have the intellectual capacity to actually play a prank on sylphs. They just overmuscle us and call it a joke. Ha. And ha-ha.

"We get creative, they throw us in the cage. We get even, they throw us in the cage. We get ahead, they lock the cage and give us nothing but birdseed. We show our cerebral superiority, they take away everything that makes life worthwhile."

"That's me," Ray said as he collected the dishes. "Dense and vindictive." Denise put the food away. She didn't make eye contact with either sylph. Pet looked crushed.

"Pet," Annie whispered, "Denise isn't mad at you. She isn't looking at you because she can't keep a straight face if she does."

"Really?"

"Really." Pet relaxed. Annie made a note to give her something from the stash to cheer her up.

That proved to be a problem. Ray had apparently raided the stash. When Annie crept under the sofa, intent on Easter leftovers, she found paper. Pictures of candy bars had been torn out of magazines and piled where her candy had been.

"I'm going…to kill…" she muttered.

---------

Annie led the way through the darken bedroom. Ray and Denise breathed slow and deep over on the bed.

Pet followed as Annie slid under her master's dresser. No light penetrated the wooden paneling, but Annie had been there before. She groped confidently along the rails. On the back of the bottom drawer was a small metal can. Annie unstuck it from the adhesive that stuck it in place.

"Got it," she whispered.

"Got what?" Pet asked in the dark.

"Tiger balm. Now, let's get up to his underwear drawer."

-------------

Denise tried to soothe her husband at both ends at once. They lay on their bed as she rubbed lotion on his balls. She also tried to spike his anger. "You know you don't want to kill them."

"No, seriously," he said. "They have to die. That stuff kicked in on the Southside Connector. I'm pulled over, screaming, shoving a shirt sleeve down my… Denise, are you laughing?"

"Nooooooo," she said, then bit down on her lips.

"Well, once I find them, I'm… I'm… I don't know what I'm going to do. But it will be epic. Memorable."

"And Annie will acknowledge that you won?"

"What? Sure she will! After an hour in the freezer or a day on the roof, she'll know who's in goddamned charge!"

"Has that ever worked before?" his wife asked. She finished and rubbed her hands on a towel.

"Thanks," he said. "And, no. No, we usually don't stop until a leg's broken or we've destroyed one of Mom's rose bushes."

"Your mom doesn't have any rose bushes," she pointed out.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing at his thigh. "I know."

"How many did you destroy?"

He thought as he pulled his pants up carefully. "Landed on. Drove over. Set on fire. Set on fire. Poisoned."

"And how many did Annie destroy?"

"Well, Annie started it." She raised an eyebrow. He spoke in a parody of a child's voice. "She did! She did! She started it when she hit me back!"

"So end it," she ordered. "Tell her she won. Or tell her you won, because you're the master. Or tell her that you've decided to be the bigger man. That you've out-witted her preemptively."

"What does that even mean?"

"I DON'T CARE!" she shouted. "End it, whatever it takes." She smiled and made her own childish comment. "Or I'll tell Mom."

"Okay," he said with a shudder. "But Annie won't believe me for a day or two."

"Lover, the way you were yelling when you came in the door? I think they found such a good hiding place, you won't even see them for two days."

-------

It nearly was two days. When Ray got home from work the next day, there was still no sign of the pets.

He checked all the carriers, their drawers, and the bag of candy he had suspended from a ceiling hook in the spare bedroom.

Then he stood in each room of the house and declared Amnesty, cease-fire, forgiveness and surrender.

He made loops through the garage, the yard and the shed. Then he shrugged and went to the living room.

Ray just had his hand on the TV remote when there was a sound. He traced it to a heating vent in the wall. "Annie? Is that you?"

"Ray! Um… Ray, Pet and I are hiding in the air ducts." She had to shout to carry over the sound of the air. Ray popped to his feet and turned the AC off.

"That's a good hiding place, Annie," he said, kneeling down by the vent. "But you can come out now."

"We, uh… We're a teeny bit lost."

"Lost?"

"We came in through the vent by the carrier, you know?" The voice echoed strangely in the ducts.

He nodded, then felt stupid. "Yes," he said into the grate.

"Well, that's behind the couch. Pet thought she could find a better place to watch you from and went looking. By the time I found her, I didn't know where we were."

"I suppose it'd be stupid to ask you to follow my voice?" he asked.

"We're in no position to call anyone stupid, master. But it's not terribly helpful."

"Right. I'll go get some of Willy's people to help. We'll use strings to keep them from losing-"

"Willy's people moved," Pet said.

"What?"

"That family that moved in down the street? With three boys? Jefferson said they were afraid of getting caught and caged." Pet's voice started to sound really scared. "Does that mean you can't find us?"

"No, Pet," he said quickly. "It just means it'll take longer." He thought for a moment, then ran to the garage.

He brought back every string of Christmas lights they owned and a few extension cords. Over the next hour he strung them near each vent opening, taping one bulb in place.

Once it was shining, he called to Annie, asking if she noticed any lights. She reported continuing darkness. He left the lights there in case they started to move around.

With all the vents illuminated, the sylphs still hadn't seen any. Pet started to complain about how cold it was.

"I turned off the AC," Ray said.

"But the metal's still pretty cold," she said.

"Do you want me to turn the heat on? I'm just afraid it'll cook you guys."

"Well… We'll stick it out a little longer," Annie said. "But if you can't fix this quick, maybe ten minutes of heat?"

"Okay," he agreed. Then he looked around the room. He rolled to his feet and got some aluminum foil from the kitchen. He wrapped the inside of a lamp shade with it, then put it on the light and braced it against a vent.

He turned that on and went to another room to see if the sylphs could see that.

Pet was screaming, asking Annie where she was at. Annie was screaming that she was blind. Ray swore and ran back to the living room, kicked light clear and dropped to his knees.

"Annie! Annie! Are you okay?"

"Ray! Ray!" Annie screamed.

"Annie! You're somewhere by this vent. I'll get it off the wall, I'll find you. Just stay calm."

"Ray?" Annie called in a suddenly calm voice.

"What?"

"Turn around."

He did, slowly. It took him a moment to notice Annie and Pet were standing under the dieffenbachia. There was a microphone between them, cable snaking off in the direction of a bookcase.

He remembered that there was another vent behind that bookcase. They must have wrestled an MP3 speaker into the duct and plugged it in somehow, he mused.

"Gotcha," Pet said. Her voice echoed from the vent behind his head.

"Yes, you did," he agreed. "Does this mean Willy's clan is still outside?"

"Yep."

"You guys heard me surrender?"

"Yes," Annie said. "But we had everything all set up, so…"

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I can see that." He stood, shaking his head. "That was a good one. You really got me." He reached out to pick them up.

-----

Denise paused as she entered the house. The girls' birdcage was hanging from the overhead pan rack. It was liberally festooned with cords of Christmas tree lights, blinking and glowing.

She stepped over to make sure the sylphs were inside. They lay face-down on the bottom of the cage, faces hidden in their arms.

A paper tag hung from the door. Actually, it was tied to the way over-sized padlock holding the door shut.

It read, "Two sylphs. Free to a good home. Sylph Rights Activists need not apply."

She sighed. "And I had JUST talked him out of escalating…" She unplugged the lights. Then she shrugged and went to find their prosecutor for the story.

-------------

Ray had found the two matching collars he'd purchased in St. Augustine and put them on the sylphs. He told them how pretty they were with the silver jewelry, but neither one took the compliment well.

Then they sat on the table and watched as he made some arrangements.

He slid some dental floss through a drinking straw, then tied either end to one collar.

They stood slowly, separated by more than a body length. Annie squeezed at the plastic. It was a hefty weight, much sturdier than the ones from a fast food joint. She wasn't sure if she had the strength to bend it.

"There," he said. "That should keep you two out of mischief." He cupped each one in a hand and lowered them to the floor.

"We can't climb a ladder like this!" Annie protested.

"Then you're going to have to stay wherever someone puts you." He walked out of the kitchen to the living room. They tried to follow.

The only good thing about the straw was its length. If one of them fell, it didn't automatically drag the other one down. It might, depending on what one sylph was doing while the other tripped, but not always.

But for everything else, it was a pain. They tried different things, finally deciding that one following the other single file was the least likely to end up in a tumble.

With that determined, they moved as quickly as they dared to the living room, Annie in front.

She found Ray placing the second sylph bed on the floor between the sofa and the computer desk. The two were set about the straw's length apart.

"We can't sleep in the carrier?" Pet asked.

"We'd have to do it one at a time," Annie said.

"But…out in the open?" Pet asked. There was a bit of a whine in her voice and Annie automatically turned to her to offer a hug.

The straw pushed Pet over onto her behind. She started to sniffle. Annie turned and shouted, "Ray! You inglorious masterd! Give Pet a hug because I can't!"

Ray obeyed, hugging both sylphs to his chest just under his chin. "It'll be okay, Pet," he assured her. "Just for a little while. Just until that rat bastard you guys played the trick on is able to laugh about it."

"In 2012?" Pet asked, rubbing her face into his shirt.

"What the hell's in 2012?" he asked.

"That's when I can tell everyone about the…diving board," Annie stage-whispered.

Their masterd had to think about that for a moment. "Oh! Candi and…Brandi?"

"Cindy and Crystal," she corrected. "The story's about the…diving board," she said brightly. Then she made small gagging sounds and ran a finger under her collar. "But there might be some people in the house more interested in the setting. The four headlights… I mean, highlights of the story."

Ray laughed. "Annie, I introduced Denise to Deliah. Why am I going to fear her learning about women I didn't even have sex with?"

"Oh…yeah," Annie muttered.

Ray kissed each sylph on the head and put them down on their table. Then he took the Christmas lights out to the garage.

Pet slumped down on the table. She was next to the TV remote, but too miserable to do anything with it. Annie tried to figure a way to maneuver her way over to it but her roomie wasn't interested.

"Okay, that's it," Annie said. "Stand up," she ordered.

"What?" Pet asked, but she stood while she did. Annie led the way over to the side of the carrier.

"Go inside," she said. Pet shrugged and walked in. Annie called for her to stop just before she was inside with her.

Then she shut the door. It took some effort to close the latch on the straw. Twice, she thought she had it, then the detent popped free. Pet watched curiously, 8 inches away from being able to help.

It finally stuck, the straw flattened to an ellipse in the frame. "Now, push," she said. She pulled, Pet pushed, dragging the straw through.

Again, the latch failed partway through. Annie swore and started over again. This time she got the straw half in and half out of the carrier. They took a break, panting heavily.

"Now comes the hard part," she said. She grabbed the straw and tried to bend it. Pet pushed clockwise, towards the carrier wall. Annie pushed counterclockwise to the same wall.

She threw her weight into the effort, though even she would admit that wasn't much. Still, the flattened straw was easier to bend than it would have been in the circle shape.

She sighted along the shaft as they worked. When she first noticed an arc, she had to convince herself she wasn't imagining it. Then it bent enough that she couldn't see Pet anymore.

"It's working!" she shouted. Then it caved. In half a second she was whirling around the carrier, trying to catch up to her own inertia. She just avoided smashing her face into the carrier wall.

"Now what?" Pet asked.

"Jump up as high as you can," Annie shouted. She dropped to her knees.

The flex in the straw popped the latch. This time, Annie didn't swear. "Now walk slowly out of the cage," she said.

In five steps they were face to face, the bent straw dangling from their collars.

Annie took Pet into a hug. Pet sighed.

"Wow," Ray said. Annie turned to see him standing in the hall, leaning on the wall.

"This was cruel and unusual punishment, Ray. For Pet, anyway. You know how much she needs tactile experiences to be happy!"

"It wasn't punishment," Ray said. He stepped over towards the pair. "Mostly it was to keep you out of trouble." He gently separated the sylphs, straightening the straw. "And, if you realized that your actions have an affect on others, so much the better. Now hold still."

He produced a pair of scissors and cut the floor by Pet's throat. The straw slid free and the two relaxed. "Seems like you learned that lesson," he said. Then he removed the collars.

They were picked up and cuddled to his heartbeat. "I thought it was more imaginative than just muscling you both into a cage?"

"Yes it was, Ray," Pet said, hugging Annie. They closed their eyes and let the giant's pulse flow over and through them. The tactile sensation made both of them feel whole. But it was being forgiven that made Annie's own heart settle.

"Next time," Annie said, "I'll work harder to let Pet maintain plausible deniability."

"Next time?" Pet asked. "Does that mean this time is over?"

"Yes," Annie told her. "He's not angry, we're forgiven, and there's a truce."

"Do we get candy back? Bending that straw really worked up an appetite. Not that I'm complaining, if we don't get candy, because this truce is a lot better than wondering what we can do next, and wondering what he'll do to us next, especially with Denny not telling him he's gone too far or is about to go too far. That's the part that scared me, really, when she wouldn't say he was in the wrong. She usually says he shouldn't-"

Pet's speech was interrupted by the sound of a candy bar wrapper being torn.



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