Annie XXXIX Bonehead

(Chronological index: Between their first date and the wedding)

Denise was a keeper. Pet lost track of how often she heard people say that to Ray. She thought it was a good thing, but Ray tensed up each time they heard it.

That wasn't good, was it? She wanted to ask Denny if 'keeper' was a bad thing at a family reunion. She really wanted to ask Annie, as she'd been to more reunions.

But she couldn't see where the other two had gone to.

Pet had never seen anything like a Foster family reunion. When she heard the word, she imagined dinners out, meeting at restaurants and maybe going to a museum or fireworks afterwards. Twelve people, not counting sylphs, was a crowd in her mind.

The Fosters had to have fifty people inside the Armory right now. She glimpsed more outside the windows. It was hard to imagine that Ray knew this many people, much less that he was related to them.

He'd invited Denise to come to the party, and Annie had invited Pet. They'd both said they'd all have fun.

And they had, for the most part. Annie rode on Denise's shoulder, to introduce family members. Ray took Pet for the same reason. Lots and lots of friendly people were telling her she was cute, and offering bites of all sorts of food. They played games and told jokes and moved around…

It reminded Pet of Denny's high school at lunch. Except without nearly as much shouting.

Denny had been happy every time the four of them were together, which made Pet happy. And they watched Annie judge a coloring contest for the younger kids. They giggled at her critiques as much as her compliments.

Then Pet had been invited to hand out the trophies! Trophies at a reunion! These people were crazy! But it was a good crazy. She really wanted to come back next year.

But Denny was making odd sounds, like that might not happen.

She wouldn't explain, just told Pet not to worry. A phrase that even Pet knew never made worries go away.

And after the last week, she knew that Denise also wouldn't make firm plans for what they were going to buy Annie or Ray for Christmas. Or where they were eating Thanksgiving.

And Ray didn't want his family to think he was keeping Denise? It sorta sucked all the fun out of the party.

She looked around from Ray's pocket again but still couldn't see her owner or her partner in crime.

"Pet?" Ray asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, forcing a smile before she looked up at him.

"Then why do you keep kicking me right on the nipple?"

"OH! I'm so sorry! I just… Denise's pocket isn't anywhere near her nipple, so I-" She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands.

"I know where Denise's nipples are, Pet," Ray said softly. He winked. "Just be a bit more careful, okay?"

"I will, sir," she promised. He sighed.

"Look, I won't tell Denise you talked about her nipple, if you don't tell Annie you just called me sir in such an informal setting. She'd blame me and I… I can't handle that right now. I just can't."

"Oh, sure!" she promised. She scooted as far as she could from his nipple.

And worried.

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Ray had been volunteered to help with the clean up by his mother, which couldn't start until every other part of the party was over.

He protested that he had prior commitments, such as needing to get his girlfriend home. Denise had cheerfully announced that she'd brought a book and went to read it in the car.

Annie and Pet went with her while Ray mumbled about betrayal and abandonment issues.

Denise put the sylphs in the carrier on the floor of the back seat and turned on her PDA. Annie threw herself into one of the hammocks and sighed.

"Oh, god. I love these things, but once the high goes, you realize they just sucked the life out of you. You know?"

"No," Pet admitted. She walked to stand beside Annie's head. "Annie?"

"Pet? Lay down, Pet, take a load off. I know that pocket's not too comfortable." Pet shook her head and leaned down to whisper to her friend.

"Annie, does Ray like me?"

"Pet," Annie whispered back, "Ray adores you. He likes you more than beef. Which is saying something." She smiled and patted Pet on the shoulder.

"Does he like Denny?" Annie blinked and sat up straight. She stared at Pet's face in the glow from the car's dome light. Pet looked worried and scared.

Annie scooted over and invited Pet to crawl in beside her. She cuddled the young sylph to her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"Pet, Pet, Pet," she said softly. "Where's this coming from? You and I have been on EVERY DATE these two went on. We got locked in the TV room for the sex, but we've been there for every good night kiss and goodbye hug.

"They're absolutely bonkers about each other. If there's anyone on the planet that should realize they're in love, it's you."

"Well," Pet started with a small catch in her throat. Then she was silent for a while.

"Confidences you can't break?" Annie asked.

"I don't know," Pet replied. "No one's asked me to keep a secret… But you have your Agreement…. And Denny thought that was a good idea. So if you can't tell…"

"You don't have to say anything you don't feel comfortable with, Pet. If you can tell me what's going on, I can try to help. If not… Well, I'll still try to help."

"Okay." She lay still and thought for a while. "What's a keeper?"

"You are," Annie said immediately. "And Denise is. I am. Ray has potential."

"So it's a good thing?"

Annie rolled her eyes. "Okay. I have an idea. Scoot over a little bit."

"Huh?"

Annie climbed on top of Pet, straddling her belly. She pressed Pet's hands under her legs and leaned forward.

With hands on each shoulder, she whispered directly into the other sylph's ear, "Tell me everything that's going on, or so help me Bastet, I will tickle you until you pee your pants." She stabbed her thumbs into armpits to make the threat more credible.

Pet writhed but gave in quickly.

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Denise helped Ray manhandle trays of leftovers into his kitchen and his fridge. Then she mumbled something about an early day at work, collected her stuff and kissed him goodnight. Pet and Annie were watching the kiss from the counter. It was lackluster and short. "See?" Pet whispered urgently.

"Don't worry," Annie assured her. "I think I know what's going on." Pet still looked worried when Denise picked her up. They waved goodbye, then they were gone. Annie watched from the windowsill as Denise pulled out and drove away. Then she turned to her owner. He was scooping meatballs into plastic bags for freezing.

"Ray? I promised Pet I'd say something to you."

"What's that, Annie?"

"You're a moron."

He didn't pause. "Pet said I'm a moron?"

"You know she never would. Not in so many words. But she described your behavior… and buddy, she nailed the definition of moron."

He put the spoon down and stepped up to where she stood. "What do you mean?" He didn't sound angry, but very curious.

"Okay, Ray. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. This is a safe place. You can say whatever you want."

"I can, can I?"

"Yes, Ray. In fact? I'm going to offer you Amnesty." She crossed her arms and smiled up at him.

"Amnesty? As in, our Agreement?" he asked. "YOU offer ME our Amnesty?"

"Do you accept it?"

"Is this a sneaky way to get Amnesty for you?" he asked.

She shook her head, then she started to pace the sill, hands behind her back. "I know it's a difficult time, in any relationship. When you realize that there's no future in it. That there's no reason to continue, even as friends.

"Maybe the sex pales, maybe the family offends, maybe she announces a desire to work for Pepsi-"

"Annie."

"Hang on. The reasons don't really matter. But stretching out the breakup isn't healthy. It gives the wrong person hope, or puts off their chance to seek a better relationship. And if it's too close to Christmas, people waste too much money on a 'save the relationship' gift."

"Annie!"

"Shut up! You have amnesty, but it's not your turn. You have to realize, too, that it's not just you and your significant other. You and Denise are never alone. Your relationship has extra dimensions.

"Don't worry about me. I don't really care to dabble in your infatuations. I don't live vicariously through your love life. Pet, now? Pet will be crushed by a breakup. But stringing it along-"

"Annie! I'm not going to break up with Denise. I'm working up the nerve to propose!"

"Thank GOD!" Annie shouted. "Call her cell! Tell her to come back. Right now!" She jumped up and down, pointing at the phone.

"Annie? First I wanted you and I-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and me, meeting of minds, all that jazz. We'll have time. CALL HER!"

He walked over and put one hand to the handset. Then he paused.

She jumped down to the counter, ran around the sink and slid to a stop by the phone cord. His eyes bugged as she dropped to a knee and begged.

"Please, please, please, Master? This bit where you work up the nerve? To the observer, it's indistinguishable from trying to find a way to break up. She's miserable! Pet is TERRIFIED!

"They're probably crying on each other's shoulders right now! CALL HER BACK!" She waved to indicate the two of them. "We'll figure this part out by the time they get here."

He lifted the phone and dialed. Denise picked up immediately.

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"Hey, you forgot your…" Annie looked around the room desperately for a pretext he could use. Then Ray shrugged. "Um. You need to come back." There was a pause. Annie strained to hear the other voice but the connection was too bad.

"Well, Annie says you have to. Yeah, she and Pet were talking. And they decided I'm a moron." Annie started waving her hands. "Oh. Annie said I'm a moron. Pet just agrees.

"Yeah, I'll explain. Everything. You have my word. Just… Please come back here." He stared down at Annie while he listened. "I just want to say… I want to tell you- No, I want to ask you- Well, hell, Denise, I'm not going to propose over the phone!"

Owner and pet shared a stunned look for a moment. "Okay," he finally said. "Remember when you said our first date didn't count as a date? I let you have that one. Now, I'm saying that didn't count as a proposal. Okay? Okay. Thank you. Yeah, see you in a few."

He hung up, a dazed look on his face. He aimed a sappy smile down at his sylph. He'd passed a point of no return and tons had fallen from his shoulders.

"Tell me you have a ring?" she asked.

-------

The door was open when Denise reached it. She carried Pet cupped in her hand, one thumb holding the excited sylph in place.

They entered. There were no lights on except for a few candles in the living room. Ray waited until her eyes had adjusted.

When she walked up to him, he took her free hand in his, and held Annie up to where Pet was.

"Denise. I've been…A moron for the last few weeks. I've been thinking things over and working up my nerve." He nodded his head to indicate Annie.

"This is a little unusual," he went on. "But so are we. Annie and I would like to spend the rest of our lives with you and Pet. I want to marry you. You're the other half of my soul and I can't imagine a life without you."

"I want you to marry him," Annie said. She reached under her shirt to pull out a ring. Ray let go of Denise long enough to take the ring and hold it out.

"I think," Annie went on, "you're more tolerable than anyone he's ever shown interest in." She reached out to the other sylph. "And I want to be blood-sisters with Pet." Pet squealed, then bit her lip.

"I don't know what to say," Denise said softly.

"Sure you do!" Pet shouted. "Duh! They already know what your answer is because we CAME BACK!"

"I suppose we did," Denise said. She leaned forward and kissed Ray. "Yes," she said.

"About time," Annie said.

Ray pulled back long enough to say, "Hush," then leaned back for another kiss.

Pet sighed at the scene above her, then she looked at the other sylph. "Do we kiss, now?"

"Are you kidding?" Annie laughed. "After all our work, we should be part of THAT kiss."

"Mmmm," Denise purred.

Ray took Pet in his hand and lifted the two sylphs to Denise's face. With a tiny head in the corner of each mouth, the two humans touched lips. Pet squealed to be part of the four-way kiss. Annie just sighed.

"Ring!" Annie shouted. Ray put the pets on Denise's shoulders and knelt to put the ring on her finger.

"For ever and always," he said.

"Okay," she said.

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