Annie LI: Earthy Humor

(Chronological index: New World Order #8)

Ray raised an eyebrow as he cleared the security barrier at Reagan. Ruth was standing in the main terminal, wearing a chauffer's cap and holding a sign. "Foster" was written in shaky penmanship.

He gently touched his pocket. "Wake up, Pet. We've got a ride."

"Someone from the Center?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. She squealed when she saw their sister-in-law, again when Ruth's pockets rustled and revealed their wives.

Ray and Ruth hugged gently, then he cuddled all three sylphs to his cheeks. The welcome home kisses and hugs and kisses and giggles lasted a bit. Ruth looked on with a bemused expression.

Then Ray handed her Pet and held Annie and Denise. They turned to walk slowly down towards the escalator and baggage.

"What are you doing here, Ruth? And...did you drive?"

"She did not," Annie said. "But there were three car-fuls of visitors that had to be delivered to the airport and she begged and whined until the drivers agreed to leave one behind for us."

"Ruth begged," he said in a monotone.

"Well," Denise admitted, "there may have been one or two other voices that thought it was a good idea."

"You guys couldn't wait until we got home!" Pet exulted from where she was glommed onto Ruth's cheek.

"No," Annie protested. "I just wanted to make sure Lurch didn't lose my Ireland gift before we got home."

"You missed us!" Pet charged.

"Did NOT!" Annie replied.

The others laughed as the two fought about Annie's emotional state. Denise just cuddled against her husband's skin, relaxing once more in the physical contact.

"But what are you doing in Washington in the first place?" Ray finally asked Ruth. He scanned the baggage board and led off towards the turnstile.

"I'm, uh, researching a story for the school paper," she said. "I..."

"She told her editor she had an 'in' on Mia's Youthing," Annie said.

"You should have let her tell it!" Pet shouted.

"She was going to take forEVER!" Annie shot back.

"It's still her story to tell!"

"But she's embarrassed, and she doesn't want to be the one that tells Ray that we've promised he'll do an interview with her!"

"Really?" Ray asked. He slowed to a stop and turned.

"Um..." Ruth said.

"It's okay, Ruth," Denise said. "He stopped because we're at the right place to wait for the bags."

"Oh. Um, yeah. No one can get close to Mia right now, and Annie and Denise said that all four of you would tell me about that night and the changes as long as you're kept anonymous in the article and they did say you'd have to all four agree to it but they promised for you."

"Are you sure you're Annie's sister?" Ray asked. Ruth blinked. "I mean, you sound like Pet."

"She DOES!"

"And you're apologetic. Annie only sounds that weak when OW!" The sylph tried to look innocent but the bite mark throbbed next to her face.

Ray stared at her for a second. "Okay," he finally said, "new topic. How's Mia?"

"Oh, the Fountaining thing is really taking off!" Annie told him.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Pet grumbled.

"What?" Ruth asked.

"Well, we get to Ireland, and every sylph guy there's hitting on me. 'Hey, lassie, wanna see me rainbow?' and it got old before we left the AIRPORT! Then by the time we left everyone's heard Mia's soundbite about sylphs needing to be loved and every man I saw winked and asked if I wanted to feel loved."

Ray handed his wives over to Ruth as he snagged a duffel bag from the turnstile and aimed for the exit. Ruth cupped her hands under all three sylphs with Pet in the middle. The blonde continued discussing the failings of men as they traveled.

When she finally paused for a breath, the other two grabbed her in a firm hug. "Missed, you, Pet," Annie said quietly.

"I know," Pet said.

------

Ray drove the van while Ruth and the others filled them in on the news. Some had made the international press but not all.

People with strong bonds to their sylphs were being healed or having their youth restored in formerly polluted spots on a nearly daily basis.

Sometimes it produced an undine, sometimes not. No one had figured out the exact conditions involved.

The official reaction was largely a 'wait and see' approach. At least, the moderate response was. The extremists on both sides were, to no surprise, horribly polarized.

Reverend Tumbler was active on the sylph front, having often stated that the Sylph Act did not go far enough to protect 'ordinary, decent people' from the little people's agenda. He had declared that this was all a plot to bring normal humans under the tiny whips of the oppressor-wannabes.

Bob Geldraff, former President of the Sylph Freedom Committee, countered with an invitation for the Undine Oppressors to take over the planet. "They're making Earth and the people that are destroying it better. I can live with that sort of oppression."

"But the worst," Denise said, "Are the people trying to force their pet sylphs to love them."

"Forced love?" Ray laughed. "Not English or Poetry majors I take it?"

"No. Although there's a rumor that some guy got a bunch of sylphs high on Ecstasy, dug a car battery out of his back yard and tried to have a Youthing."

"What happened?" Pet asked.

"According to the rumor," Annie said, "either he was sylphed or they turned the clock back so far he was a fertilized egg on the grass."

"Or lightning struck," Ruth finished. "At the college the story is that they found his cooked body being eaten by strung out sylphs."

"Eugh!" Pet squealed.

Annie gave her a supporting hug. "Rumor, Pet. Just a rumor."

"I hope so." She shuddered. "It's so easy to overcook human."

Annie's head whipped around to stare at her partner. Ruth's eyes bugged. Denise laughed, which finally broke Pet's straight face.

"So anyway," Denise finally asked, "what did you find out about the ancient source of Leprechaun myths?"

"Lots of very opinionated people with no real facts," Ray said with a shake of his head. "Whole museums asking 'COULD the modern world be the second time a sylphing event came to pass?' Then they have to admit, 'we don't know, but it sounds cool, huh?'"

"Too bad," Denise said. Pet nodded.

Ray had to swing by the refugee quarters when they got to the Center. Apparently Kesho was on a hunger strike until she saw Way Way.

"Good god," Ray burst when he heard. "How long as she been starving?"

"Since lunch," Annie said dryly, "and she found out you were going to be home by dinner."

"Oh. Well, it's an emergency, then." He left the girls to Ruth's care until he could talk his biggest tiny fan into living for another day.

The college student wheeled the soft-sided case into the middle of Ray's side of the apartment and dropped it on the floor.

"Okay," Annie asked, gesturing to be put down by the thing. "Where are the gifts, Pet?"

"Side pocket," she said.

"There's eight side pockets," Denise pointed out. Ruth put them down on the top by the middle handle (one of seven). "Ray searched high and low for a travel bag he could develop a spreadsheet to pack."

"Um...." Pet paced back and forth, peering down at the zippers. "I think..."

"Ah, hell, open them all," Annie ordered Ruth. "This is taking too long!"

"I'm not sure I can..."

"It's not like it's Federal Mail, Ruth," Denise assured her.

"No, no, I'm worried about finding his dirty underwear."

The sylphs laughed and started arguing about which part of the bag would be the most embarrassing for Ray if exposed to strong light.

Ruth left them to the discussion and got a folder out of her bag. She spread some paper cuttings and photos on the table by the kitchenette.

Ray returned with a wide smile. "Kesho's going to live!" he announced. "She also thinks she's going to marry me some day. Usiku says she's found some wonderful prospects, though."

He stepped completely over the sylphs and their attempts to open the outer front right pocket. They watched him sail overhead to take a chair by Ruth.

"What's all this then?" They used the straps to clamber down to the floor and race to his feet while he sorted through her research.

"Well, I got lucky," she said. "With the exact time and place coordinates for your Youthing, I found a guy who found me a satellite shot of the area."

"Really?" He paged through a stack of photos. "Florida, Florida, Florida...Bright spear of light shining up out of the swamp, bubbling light... Florida, Florida, Florida. Interesting."

He checked the time stamp on the photos. "Yeah, they are pics of that night."

"Let me see!" his ankle cried. He reached down to scoop up his wives. They spread out across the pictures.

"Where, exactly, did you get the map and date coordinates?" he asked. Ruth turned to look down at Annie. Annie looked up at Ray without raising her head. Her eyes were just visible under her brow.

"I don't figure they're secret after the event," she said softly.

"So, you didn't send her an email until it was over and done with?" he clarified. She nodded. "Okay. And you haven't given her any of the future coordinates?"

Annie turned to look up at Ruth. Her sister was bent over her notebook and looked over at Ray without raising her head.

There was a moment of pause when Pet, overcome by the sister similarity, fell over on her butt from laughing so hard. Ray picked her up and pocketed her.

"Okay, did you give them to your sister, the journalist, or to your sister, the close family member?"

"Second one," Annie said. Ruth nodded.

"Okay. I just don't want too many spectators showing up at any of these...things, whatever they are going to be."

Ruth promised discretion and Ray let it drop. They discussed the events leading up to the night of the Youthing.

The séance was described, though names and Camp David were edited. Impressions, sensations and the shock of looking up at the looming giant figure of Mia had Ruth scribbling away like mad.

"Now... What exactly does, 'feel loved' mean?" she finally asked. "Do you mean sex?"

"NO!" Pet shouted. She clambered over the lip of Ray's pocket and jumped down to his forearm. From there she scampered over to Denise and grabbed her in a hug. "I felt loved the entire time I belonged to Denise. There was no sex, or sexing, or unresolved sexual tension, or bicurious exploring or experimenting or nothing. If we took Mia to the swamp when Denise was normal and I was her pet Pet and the magic asked if I was a loved sylph, I'd have said yes, thanks, and very happy."

There was a long silence as everyone processed the interjection. Denise just wrapped her arms around her friend and lay her head on Pet's shoulder.

Ruth looked around. Ray and Annie were smiling at the pair. One finger of his hand stroked the sylph's back. She leaned into the contact, eyes on the other two. "Okay," Ruth finally said. "You're saying love is whatever you think love is?"

"Mmmm," Denise said. The others nodded. Ruth felt a short stab of jealousy at how close they were, but it faded quick. They were a family, one that worked, and they were supposed to be that close. She would find someone to share that kind of connection with, some day.

The moment she resolved her envy, Annie looked up at her and smiled. She put out her hand in Ruth's direction. The student reached back to take that hand between two fingers and gently squeeze.

"Okay," she asked after a moment, when she could speak, "where are the Fosters headed next?"

"Are you angling to come with us?" Annie asked Ruth.

"Yes, please?" she asked. Her eyes roved the other faces, not sure whose permission she needed.

The fact that she even looked imploringly at the sylphs along with Ray cheered all four.

"I vote yes!" Pet cheered.

"I vote yes, first!" Annie shouted at her.

"No, you didn't! I got JET lag and I BEAT you!" Ray picked the dueling duo up and shoved them into his pocket. Their screeching continued if slightly muffled.

Ray and Denise looked at each other then at the college student. "Got the time?"

"Oh, yeah. The whole campus has been shut down. There was an alumnus Youthing, and, like, ninety percent of the faculty is chasing each other's newly taut and shiny ass."

"Okay, we can avoid discussing faculty tushes for the foreseeable future," Ray said with a wince.

"We have loosed a monster unto the world," Denise said ominously, "and we can only pray that the beast is one day tamed."

Ruth stared at her sister-in-law for a moment then shook her head. "So? Can I go?"

The two looked at each other and shrugged. Ray looked back at Ruth.

"How much underwear do you have packed?" Ray asked.

"YOU don't ask her that!" Denise shouted.

"I just don't want to have to go to a Laundromat in the middle of a trip," he replied.

"HER underwear is HER business, not yours!"

"I'm not asking intimacies," he protested, "I'm asking logistics!"

"If Annie finds out your interested in her sister's underwear-"

"Where's a really big pocket when you need it?" Ruth said. She got up and headed for the door. "You guys have some emotions backlogged. I'll see you tomorrow."

She left the apartment and headed for her own room.

Annie and Pet popped their heads out of Ray's pocket. "Did she go? Why did she go?"

"She thought we were tense from travel," Pet said.

"From being apart," Denise corrected.

"She's smart," Annie said.

"Well, not really," Ray said. "I'm not tense."

"Darn," Denise said. "I was going to help you work out the kinks if-"

"AAARGH! God, I am SO tense!" Ray complained. Pet giggled and started climbing his shirt. Annie scaled to his collar then to his other shoulder. The straddled his muscles and started to work them with their thighs.

Ray grabbed Denise and moved carefully over to the bathroom. "So, I need to stand in the rain locker for a few gallons, who's with me?"

"Me!" the women chorused.

---------

Tammy opened the door to find two strangers. "Yes?"

"Tammy? It's me, Ray. Cousin? Family reunion?"

"My owner?" Annie added from his pocket.

Tammy looked back and forth. "OH! You had a Youth Ceremony! Wow, you look GREAT!"

She stepped back, opening the door wider. "And Denise, you look...different as a brunette."

"I'm Ruth," the woman said.

"My sister," Annie explained.

"I'm here," Denise said from another pocket.

"Who is it?" Angel asked from the dining table.

"Who's that?" Pet asked from the pocket with Annie.

"Pet? Is that Pet?" Cruiser called from the floor under the table.

"Who's Pet?" Angel shouted.

"Well, technically they're my pets," Ray explained, "but we all-"

"WHO IS Pet," Angel said, nearly screaming, "not whose, 'I wonder who owns that pet' but why is my husband shouting a sylph's name!"

"Husband?" Annie repeated. "Cruiser, you got married?"

"To Angel!" he called back.

"Is that Pet?" Angel shouted.

"No," Tammy explained, "that's Annie."

"Who's Annie?" Angel asked.

"Who's asking?" Annie shot back.

"My wife!" Cruiser replied.

"Congratulations!" Denise shouted towards the floor.

"Who are these people?" Angel shrieked.

Ruth put fingers in her mouth and let loose a piercing whistle. Everyone stopped, most of them still milling about in the doorway.

"Sylphs on the table," she ordered. "Humans around the table. Tammy will introduce everyone she knows, which is everyone but me, then Ray will introduce me. 'Kay?"

The crowd moved to comply. Annie looked up at her little sister from the table. "Did you want to be a journalist or an NFL coach?"

-------

Pet had worried about having to fend Cruiser off when they met again. But with one look at Angel, and the way the two of them looked at each other, she worried more about coming between them.

So she stayed away from them, didn't make eye contact, and hoped no one else would mention her and Cruiser getting together at the reunion.

The others discussed the changes since Denise shrank. They'd gotten as far as reaching the Sylph Center when Tammy's phone rang.

She jumped up and ran to get it. Angel and Cruiser grabbed hands and watched.

"Are you expecting a call?" Ruth asked. The sylph couple nodded.

The Fosters and Ruth looked at each other. "About what?" Denise asked.

"Mildred," Angel said. "She's sick."

"Oooh. Sorry," Annie said. "Our cousin was sick a while ago."

"That was the cable company," Tammy said as she came back to the table. "Sorry I just ran out like that. It's-"

"Aunt Millie," Ray said with a nod. "What's wrong?"

"They're not really sure," she said. She reached out to finger-hug each of her sylphs. They pet her hands and tried to look optimistic.

"Why don't you have a Youthing?" Annie asked. "Wheel your mom out to-"

"No!" Angel and Tammy said emphatically.

"What they mean, is," Cruiser started to say. Then he stopped.

"Mom doesn't want a ceremony," Tammy explained.

"I can see that," Denise said. "My mom doesn't want to die, but she doesn't want to stay on Earth longer than she has to. Not without Dad."

"Really?" Ruth asked, shocked. Denise nodded.

"That's not it," Pet said, eyes on the sylph couple. Everyone turned to where she stood, half hiding, at Ray's elbow. She stepped forward. "They're afraid."

"Not exactly," Cruiser protested.

"Yes," Angel said.

"You're afraid that one of you, and only one of you will become an Undine," Pet said. "And that it'll end your relationship."

"Well, yeah," Tammy said. "It'd be hard to be a loving couple if one of them's twice as big as the -" She paused as the Fosters broke out in wide, wicked smiles.

Pet stepped up, arms wide, to hug both Angel and Cruiser. Ray reached out to stroke Pet's back with a finger. Tammy and her pets looked stunned. "It can be made to work," Pet said confidently.

Annie and Denise stood on either side of Ray's other hand and leaned against it.

"Yeah, being within six inches of each other?" Annie laughed. "That's, like, practically identical."

"Really?" Tammy asked softly. Then she shook her head. "No, Mom made her big speech, going out for the sake of the kiddies, so they can be together, finding happiness and so on.

"She'll never agree to a ceremony now."

"Then," Pet said, looking Angel in the eye, "tell her if she lives you'll name the baby after her."

Everyone around and on the table laughed. They laughed a little louder than the joke deserved, but overreaction was natural, coming as it did in the middle of the gloomy topic.

They almost all said something along the lines of 'that'll work.' Then they sat in sudden, stunned silence. Angel had not said anything like that.

One by one, each face turned as they realized she'd said, 'How did you know?'

Tammy and Cruiser both reached out to Angel, stopping just barely before contact.

"Are you...?" Tammy started to ask.

"Really?" Cruiser finished. Angel nodded.

"I think so," she said. There was a half-smile on her face as she tried to gage their reactions.

"You are," Pet said confidently. "You smell like the sylphs in back of our house, when they're pregnant." She giggled as she saw Tammy's nostrils flare.

Cruiser started to lean forward. Pet put a hand to his forehead and stopped him. "You can't sniff her yet."

"No," Annie said. She stepped up behind Cruiser and hugged the tense sylph around the waist. "Not until she finds out if you're mad at her."

"What?" The young man's eyes flickered from his wife to their guests. "What? No, how could I be?"

"Really?" Angel asked.

Denise touched Tammy's wrist. "Or going to sell her."

"Of course not!" Tammy said. Still not quite touching her pet, she leaned down to look her directly in the eye. "This is wonderful, Angel. Really."

"You sure?" Angel asked. There was a little catch in her voice. "I know it's not what you wanted..."

"Oh, fudge! I just didn't want to rush into anything." She stroked Angel's hair gently. "The only thing this changes is how much sleep we'll get at night."

Angel smiled and broke out in tears. Annie, Denise and Pet stepped back, letting Cruiser embrace his wife, Tammy's hands wrapped around the pair.

"Soooo," Annie drawled, tapping Denise lightly with her elbow. "We know a fertile male sylph."

"Who is on the freebie list," Denise said with a nod.

"The what now?" Ruth asked.

"He was," Pet said, smiling at the loving couple. The loving trio.

Ray snorted, reaching over to cup his hands around his wives. "Yeah. That ship has sailed."

--------

Crying stopped, though eyes remained moist. Laughter stopped, though smiles lingered. Congratulations were expressed. Tammy finally worked up the nerve to pick up and handle her possibly pregnant sylph. "Good GOD!" Angel said with a stamp of her foot. "I'm not THAT fragile!"

Angel suffered at least one sniff from the curious. The Fosters' story was finally finished. Tammy looked from the calendar to the 3x5 card with the DTG and GPS listed. "So...what now?"

"Pre-natal care," Denise said.

"Oh! Yes, of course! I'll schedule a visit!"

"Well, a test, first," Angel said. "I mean, I suspect, but..."

"Sure, sure!" Tammy agreed.

"Then we tell Aunt Millie?" Ray asked. "And the baby-name-for-survival incentive?"

"If nothing else," Tammy said, "she'll rally long enough to lecture me on unfair treatment of old people."

--------

The vet had an opening, and became quite insistent that Tammy bring Angel in, once they heard it was a suspected pregnancy.

"They can't wait to see you," Tammy told her. She looked to the others. "It's a great place. They really care about the sylphs."

"You know," Pet said. "We never really did find out if you two became fertile in the Youthing."

In the end, everyone went to the vet's. Tammy took all the sylphs but one into the exam room. Ray and Ruth waited in the lobby with Cruiser.

Ray relaxed with a magazine that was only six years old. Cruiser paced and Ruth fidgeted.

"Did I see a drug store across the street?" Ruth asked after a while.

"Yes," Cruiser said. "Why?"

"Oh, I was thinking of getting some candy for everyone," she said. "What, uh, what do Tammy and Angel like?"

"I can come with you!" Cruiser begged.

"I dunno," Ruth said, glancing at Ray.

"Get him out, give him something to do," Ray said. "Kind of a prenatal version of boiling towels."

The two were out the door as if released from a crossbow. Ray chucked and sifted through the strata of periodicals.

-------

Ruth and Cruiser performed their exploration of the candy aisle with great attention to detail. They discussed the portions available in the sylph selections against the flavors available in everything else.

Selections were made and rejected and remade. Ruth was reminded of watching Annie try to pick a lottery scratch-off. She giggled and had to explain the smile to Cruiser.

They finally made their purchases and started to head back to the vet. Cruiser was in her pocket, leaning out to tell her about Mildred when they exited.

A man walking in glanced down as he passed. His eyes widened at the sight of the sylph. "Totter?" he said softly.

---------

Ruth staggered into the vet's lobby. She cried out, "He TOOK him!"

Ray stood and stepped over to her, quickly taking in a blooded nose, some cuts on her hands and a lack of Cruiser.

The receptionist was already calling 911, a nurse coming out with a first aid pack.

"I couldn't stop him!" Ruth cried.

"Stop who?" Ray asked.

"This guy! He said, 'totter' and 'gimmee' and I said 'fuck off' and he said 'slut' and slapped me and I fell and I thought he was groping me but he was grabbing Cruiser!"

She hugged onto Ray's side and bawled on his shoulder. He winced at the blood on his shirt but never hesitated to hold her close. He did turn her so the nurse could look at her face, but maintained contact.

"And Cruiser was shouting."

"I can imagine," Ray said.

"He said it's the Lord! IT's the Lord!" she cried. "Does he think God's punishing him? Oh, God, Ray, I let that guy steal him!"

"It's okay, Ruth," he tried to say. She wasn't having any.

"You wouldn't have let him grab Annie like that!"

"I don't know." The nurse nodded to the exam rooms. Ray agreed silently and started easing his sister-in-law to the back. "Someone wants to steal a chainsaw out of my hands, I may hand it over. Blades first, of course."

Tammy heard the cries and poked her head out. Well, Tammy was with the sylphs, who heard the crying. Angel started to look scared. Pet and Denise tried to comfort her and Annie asked Tammy to take her to Ruth.

Out in the hall, the human finally heard the teenager. She carried her charges to the room where the nurse was bandaging Ruth's cheek.

She saw Tammy, and Angel in her hand, and started to cry louder. Tammy was sure she felt her heart stop. Angel whimpered once, then went still.

"Angel?" Pet asked.

"Dude," Angel said in a low, masculine voice, "U rem Totter win/lose record?"

"What the...?"

"Her eyes are glowing," Annie said. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the little woman. Except the nurse, she glanced away from the wound but only once.

Angel continued, using a slightly different voice. "Totter was the shit, I rem that. Y?"

"I think she's channeling a ghost," Pet said softly.

"I think a ghost is helping her spy on someone's texts," Ray said.

"Got Totter in my box," Angel's first alien voice said. "Figure a comeback fight."

"Where/when?"

"Usual." Then she sagged in Tammy's grip. Denise and Pet steadied her. She rubbed her forehead. "What happened?" She looked up at Ruth. "Oh, dear. Are you okay?"

"I am so, so sorry," Ruth said. "I tried to-" Her voice caught. The nurse interrupted the confession/apology with some instructions on keeping the swelling down, handed over some aspirin, and walked out.

A police siren sounded in the distance.

--------------

Ray and Denise sat at Tammy's table, looking over at the sofa and the rocking chair. Tammy was wrapped up in an afghan, holding Angel and Pet, endlessly rocking.

Ruth had cried herself to sleep on the sofa. Annie stood guard over the teen's dreams, standing on a pillow and stroking her forehead.

"You think we'll find him?" Denise asked softly.

"I am convinced that the spirits would have warned us if there was any way to avoid this," Ray said just as quietly. He fingered the slip of paper with the séance's GPS message. "And I'm willing to bet we know where and when this rematch is going to take place."

"I hope so," she said. He gave her a gentle squeeze to his cheek. After a moment she spoke again. "Tammy's cop friend looked really pissed, didn't she?"

"Yeah. We may have to tell her that we think we have tickets to the sylph fights." They shared a smile, both of them showing lots of pointy white teeth.

------

Tammy sat in the porch swing in front of her mother's house. She and Angel both kicked the boards of the porch to swing slowly back and forth.

Tammy glanced down at the belly of the woman next to her. Angel covered it with a hand and smiled. "I'm not showing yet," she said.

"I can't wait," Tammy told her. "I'm going to be a grandma!"

"Aunt!" Angel protested. "You're not that much older than I am!"

"Doesn't matter," Tammy promised her. "I'm going to spoil this baby like no one's business."

Angel's smile turned a little wistful and she leaned on Tammy's shoulder. "To make up for him not having a father?"

"Bullcocky," a deep voice said. The women turned to see a man come out of Midred's house. He was dressed in military uniform, a set of camouflage-covered clothes. Tammy knew there were clues about branch and unit and specialty in the decorations, but he just looked deadly to her.

"Excuse me?" Angel asked.

"No father? Can't have that. Trust me, Millie won't have that problem." He leaned on the porch rail and smiled at the two women.

"Blaster?" Tammy asked softly.

"In the flesh," he said happily, slapping his chest. "Um. Well, actually, everything but the flesh."

"Who's Millie?" Angel asked, her voice rising in agitation. "Who are you?"

"Blaster is Cruiser's friend from the fighting pits," Tammy said. "And this is Cruiser's wife. I guess Millie is..." She gasped.

Blaster nodded. "Your daughter. Nice girl. Your stamina and her dad's beauty." He scratched his head for a moment. "Wait, I may have that backwards."

"And if we named her after Millie," Tammy said happily, "Mom must live!"

"I'm not allowed to say," Blaster said. "But that is the agreement." He winked. Tammy burst into tears. "Oh, god, no crying. I can't stand crying women."

"What do you want?" Angel asked. She rubbed Tammy's shoulders as the other woman tried to control herself.

"Not much," he said. "Just wanted to tell you, bring a lot of cages with you."

"With us? Where?"

"Ray knows," Blaster promised.

-----

Blaster was also across town in a rented storage unit. Cruiser sat dejectedly in his cage, staring into space. Suddenly he wasn't alone anymore.

Blaster sat beside him. "Finally," the older sylph said. "I thought you were never going to sleep."

"Blaster! They caught me! Well, they lost me, then this woman, Tammy-"

"I just met her," Blaster said. "And your wife and daughter."

"Daughter?" Cruiser said. He scratched his head. "How long have I been in this cage"

--------

Tammy and Angel woke with smiles. Pet saw the expression on their faces and smiled, too.

"You guys saw someone in your sleep," she judged. "Is everything going to be okay?"

"He wouldn't say," Tammy said.

Angel nodded. "But he was optimistic."

"Then you should be, too," Pet advised.

"Okay," Angel said softly. Tammy nodded.

Their voices woke Annie. Just as she started to climb to her feet, Ruth stretched. Annie tumbled from her perch, rolling across the blanket to end up dangling over the edge of the sofa, grabbing the fabric for all she was worth.

Then she just dropped to the ground, muttering things about people who slept like an earthquake in jeans. Pet giggled. Ruth opened her eyes and asked what was so funny.

"You tried to kill me, that's what she's laughing at!" Annie shouted.

Ray woke from the shrill shouting. "Annie?"

"Master, Master!" she called. "Come help me before my sister steps on me!"

"I wasn't going to," a motionless Ruth protested. Ray carried Denise into the room and swept up his other two wives. Then he sank to the sofa and cuddled them close, kissing each one on the head.

"Eugh," Annie complained. "Morning breath!"

"It doesn't bother me, Annie," Ray assured her.

"I meant yours!"

"So did I," he smiled.

"I was going to go brush my teeth," Ruth said, a hand to her mouth so that she wouldn't offend. She held the other hand out Ray's wives.

Annie immediately started to kick and twist. He opened his hands and allowed the three to step over and grab fingers for the short ride to the bathroom.

Ruth turned to Tammy. "I, uh, don't know your morning routine..."

"I'd...like to brush teeth with them," Angel said/asked to Tammy. The owner smiled and stood to hand the sylph over to Ruth.

"I saw Blaster," Tammy said when the humans were alone. "Cruiser's old friend from the pits. Well, Angel and I saw him."

"You were both the same size?" Ray asked. Tammy nodded. "Tell me about it."

"Well," Tammy started. Ray leaned closer.

-------

"Over here," Tammy said. Ray pulled the rental into a parking lot. The sylphs crowded forward on the carrier. A sedan waited in the middle. "Debbie should be there."

"Debbie the cop?" Pet asked.

"Debbie the cop," Angel nodded. "She said she was going to bring backup."

"Why don't we have lots and lots of backup?" Ruth asked.

"We've got Annie," Ray said.

"Grrr," his first sylph growled. Ray pulled up by the sedan and stopped the car, then ruffled Annie's hair.

"Also, blood-sports are so very illegal," Tammy said, "the participants would notice any large group of cops zeroing in."

"So," Pet said slowly. "An IT guy, and insurance girl, a junior reporter, one cop, one cop's backup... And four sylphs against people that treat sylphs like rabid dogs."

"Four and a half," Angel said, hand to her belly. Everyone winced. They hadn't wanted to bring her and Pre-Millie, but she'd insisted. And pointed out that Blaster hadn't warned them against it.

So now Tammy held her Angel close as they got out of the car.

Debbie, a detective that had worked with Tammy often enough to be on a first name basis, climbed out of her sedan. It took a bit longer than for most people. There was a lot of Debbie, and it took her a while to climb up to her full, towering stance.

"If there was any justice in the world," Annie whispered from Ruth's hand, "she'd be named Xena."

"Nah," Denise replied from Ray's pocket. "I was thinking the 101st Airborne."

"The 101st and a half," Pet added.

Someone was getting out of the far side of the car as the friends greeted each other.

"Debbie! You remember Ray, Ruth and the girls," Tammy said with a wave. Debbie shook hands, careful not to crush anyone's.

"Yeah, yeah. And this is Foreman. I consult with him on sylph issues from time to time.

Tammy smiled to see the man she only knew as 'the guy a the Registry.' Outside of the office and his lab coat, he looked a little more imposing. Not as much as Officer Xena, but certainly not a nebbish.

And if he wore a shoulder holster with a Beretta at the Registry, Tammy had never noticed.

"Foreman, huh?" Tammy asked. "I never got your name."

"I never got yours," he said with a shrug and a smile. He gave Angel a small wave. "Debbie said that her friend's sylphs were in trouble. If I'd known it was Cruiser and Emerson..."

"It's Angel, now," Tammy corrected.

"Wait," Pet said loudly. "You know her sylphs' names, but not hers?" The humans looked each other for a second or two. "I like him!"

"Okay, okay," Debbie finally said. She pulled back her jacket to clear her holster. "Is anyone else armed?"

"You want an IT guy and an insurance adjuster armed?" Tammy asked.

"No, I was going to take your guns away if you were. I want you people ready to run if there's trouble. Call 911. From a safe distance, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ray and Ruth said.

"Okay," Debbie nodded. "Now, you said we needed lots of cages?" She gestured towards the sedan, but looked a Tammy. "Is twenty enough?"

"I don't know," Tammy said. "Blaster's ghost didn't give any numbers."

Debbie stared for a second, then shook her head. She looked up and down the street. "Did you guys do any recon of the spot we're going to?"

"No," Ray said. "Didn't want to risk spooking them."

"Good," Debbie said. "So where's this mysterious GPS coordinate?" Ray pointed and they started walking.

------

Cruiser stood in his cage as the bets were placed. He was naked and oiled but he stood straight. The Lords were impressed by his form. He'd put on some weight while living with Tammy. He'd been eating better than the blood sports fighters usually got.

But he didn't look scared of the humans. No cringing, no flinching, he didn't even duck his head to avoid notice. Some of the Lords bet more on him because he looked like a sylph that had decided he had nothing to lose.

Others bet against him for the same expression. He didn't look as hungry as he had in previous bouts.

Bets were placed and the odds shifted on the white board. Cruiser ignored it all.

There were three warm-up fights before his bout. He didn't know any of the competitors. All the fighters and quarry he knew had been in a ring that was found and turned in to the authorities.

It didn't make it any easier to hear, though.

The fights weren't supposed to be lethal. It took a long time to properly train a sylph for the ring. Replacing them was a hassle.

There was blood and pain, and the Lords yelled and screamed, cheered and jeered, swore and laughed. And sometimes, there was an accident and a fighter did die.

They cheered louder for that.

This had been Cruiser's world and he'd never questioned it. He hadn't liked it, but no one had told him he deserved a likeable life.

Tammy had changed that. Tammy, Mildred, Pet, Annie, Ray, Angel... He was going to see them again. He knew it. He decided it. And if he had to fight his way through the pits to get back to them, he'd do that, too.

He wouldn't like it this time, but he'd do it. Blaster told him it was okay to do 'what a man's gotta do.' It wouldn't make him any less of a man, or make Tammy or Angel feel any less for him.

"It's like having sex with your sarge," Blaster had said. "As long as you throw up afterwards, you're not gay." Cruiser had blinked and tried to figure out of Blaster was flirting with him.

"What I mean is, if you don't enjoy the fighting, it's just a job you gotta do. Doesn't make you a bad person, not like if it got you excited to beat up other sylphs. But you still gotta do it. 'Kay?"

"Okay," Cruiser had said. Blaster had chucked him on the shoulder and faded away. And Cruiser had realized that Blaster had never once called him, 'kid.' That made him more confident than any encouragement might have.

Finally, it was his bout. They moved his cage to the edge of the pit and dropped him down on the sandpaper floor.

He stood calmly and waited to see which of the three cages they were holding would turn out to be his opponent.

The Judge rolled some dice, then gestured. The surrounding Lords hooted as all three cages were lowered to the arena.

"I told y'all it'd be a special night!" someone shouted.

Cruiser set himself for the worst fight of his life. Three hulking brutes landed on the sands and started walking towards him.

He glanced down to check his footing and saw a face in a blood smear. Blaster's face. It looked like it winked at him.

At some signal that Cruiser missed, the other three screamed and started running at him. He danced to one side to try to take them individually.

The closest fighter slowed so all three approached as a group. Cruiser turned and ran. The Lords jeered. Then he jinked to a side and ran straight at the one on the far side. That one slowed, but not enough.

Cruiser leaped up into the air at the last second, hands raised in a double fist, shouting wordlessly. His opponent raised his arms to block.

Cruiser dropped down without touching, crouched, then hammered the other guy's knee from the side. He screamed and dropped. Cruiser just took off running again.

--------

The rescue party milled around in an intersection. Debbie and Foreman circled the group centered on Tammy and Angel. Ray checked his GPS while Ruth tried to look in fourteen directions at once.

Denise and Pet scanned from Ray's pockets. Annie watched Ray hit and shake his electronics. "Well? Where to next?"

"I... I think we're here," he said. They looked around. It was a bad part of the city. Empty and nearly-empty buildings surrounded them.

"Here?" Tammy and Angel asked together. "But where's Cruiser?"

"Spread out!" Annie shouted.

"The HELL!" Debbie replied. "Civilians stay HERE! I'll look around."

"That doesn't sound right," Pet said. "The spirits lead us NEARLY to the excitement?"

"I don't know what to say," Ray said. They watched Debbie run along the sidewalk, peering through cracks in boards over windows.

Foreman walked around the knot of civilians, gun out.

-------

Inside the pit, Cruiser stopped running. One opponent limped after him. The other two crouched close together.

"We don't have to do this," Cruiser said.

"They'll make us," the fighter said, with a nod towards the Lords. "So there's no use begging o' pleading."

"Oh, I'm not trying to plead," Cruiser said. He turned his back on the approaching sylph and faced the nearest sweating, screaming human. "I just realized. We don't have to do this." He raised one hand and pointed. Light shot from his hand to the Lord.

Who disappeared.

--------

Tammy was trying to keep Angel from freaking out about Cruiser, but the promises of dream-Blaster weren't too compelling in the gloom.

The little sylph whimpered.

"Shush, shush," Tammy said. "It'll be alright."

"No, no, it's..." She screamed, sharp and piercing. Everyone turned to face Tammy and the sylph she held.

The woman looked down in horror as her pet curled up in her cupped fingers. "Angel? What is it?"

"Something... It hurts!" she cried, cradling her belly.

"Is it the baby?" Pet asked. The whole group started to ask questions or try to offer advice or sympathy or speculate.

Ruth was facing towards the commotion but she saw movement across the street. A man staggered up the steps of a basement entry in a dark building. He was looking over his shoulder as he climbed, then turned to scan the streets as he came under a dim streetlight.

"YOU!" Ruth shouted and started to run around the group towards him.

Ray ran to catch her. Debbie, running from the far side of the intersection, aimed to intercept.

---------

"What happened?" one of the Lords shouted.

"You destroyed him?" the fighter asked Cruiser. "That's going to get you punished."

"Not likely," Cruiser said. He turned to look down at the other man. "Not today, anyway." He jerked his hands like a magician shooting his sleeves. Light went in two directions and two men blinked out of sight.

The other sylphs in the arena stared at Cruiser in amazement.

"Dude...are you...taller?" one asked.

The Lords screamed and shuffled, pressing for the exits. None of the humans heard the terrified cries from the floor.

The sylphs in the cages started to cheer.

-------

"RUTH!" Ray called.

"That's the guy that grabbed Cruiser!" Ruth shouted. The man swerved and started to run. He staggered against the wall and bounced back. His feet flailed like two different people controlled them.

"We gotta get out of here!" he shouted in terror. "The sylphs...they're...it's an uprising!"

"About time," Annie shouted back.

The sylph-napper tripped and fell. Ruth ran up to his side and started kicking him. "Where's Cruiser?" she shrieked. "Where's CRUISER?!?"

Ray slowed. With three sylphs in his pockets, he hadn't been running full out anyway. Now he just walked towards his sister-in-law. "No, don't, stop," he said in calm tones.

"She's more upset about Cruiser than the assault!" Pet said happily.

"My sister," Annie said happily. But smiles were quenched at another scream from Angel. Ray turned and Ruth stopped kicking just as Angel stood up on Tammy's hands.

"You ASSHOLE!" the sylph shouted. She pointed her hand at Ruth's victim. Light streamed across the intersection and struck his prone form.

His clothes collapsed as if a balloon had popped. They lay empty along the sidewalk.

"Wow," Ruth said softly. "That's one pissed wife."

"What's that?" Ray asked pointing. A small bulge under the shirt started to move. Ruth turned up the shirt to reveal a bruised, naked, terrified sylph.

"Gotcha, fucker," she said, reaching down.

-----------

Samantha paid the cab driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She rested her rolling suitcase on the ground and plucked her sylph from her coat pocket.

Amelia rested in the cupped hands as her owner turned a slow 360 at the busy intersection. "Well?" Sam asked.

"What are you asking me for?" Amelia replied. "You're acting like I'm a dowsing rod."

"It was your dream that got us to Ohio."

"And your dream that got us to Springfield," the sylph parried. "Figure out where we go!"

Sam had continued turning during the conversation. It was typical for them, but the passersby glanced at them oddly. More than a few flinched at the sight of the sylph.

"What's up with that?" Sam asked.

"Not a lot of sylphs in Ohio?" They shrugged. "You know, you're standing in front of a hotel."

"Yeah, I noticed that, what with the hotel sign."

"I mean," Amelia said slowly, "that you could maybe get a room. And if nothing else pops up, maybe we take a nap, see if there's amplifying dreams?"

"Beats standing on the sidewalk," Sam agreed. She rolled her suitcase into the lobby and up to the desk.

A bright young man looked up at her approach. He glanced down at the sylph in her hand. "Are you here to see the Foster party?" he asked.

"No way," Amelia said softly.

"Mr. Ray Foster," Sam checked as if she wasn't surprised.

"That's him," the clerk replied. "Do you need me to ring you up?"

------

Ray stood in the doorway, more than a little gobsmacked at the sight of them. "Sam," he said blankly. "Amelia." He shook his head. "What are you doing in Springfield?"

"Not getting ANY work done," Sam complained. They stood there for a moment. "Can we borrow your internet connection?"

"Um, sure," he said. He backed into the suite and opened the door wide. Sam entered. Both women scanned the room for the Foster sylphs. None were in evidence.

"So," Amelia asked, "What have you heard about some new sylph threat?"

The women stared as Ray laughed. And kept on laughing. He staggered to a chair and fell into it. "A sylph threat? No, not exactly. What have you heard," he finally managed.

Sam took a chair opposite him, lowering Amelia to the table between them. "Gibberish," she replied. Monster sylphs, sylph uprisings, mass disappearances, giants, flashing laser eyes."

"That's from the TVs in the airport," Amelia added. "We can't get through to the Center to get a straight line on what's happening."

"Oh, well," Ray said, "You've come to the right place." There was a clatter in one of the bedrooms off the main room. "Hold on a second." He went off to deal with something out of sight.

The Anthony's looked at each other.

"I think we managed to find what we were sent to find," Sam said.

"You THINK?" Amelia snarked.

Ray returned with a room service tray and several empty dishes. He set it outside the door then returned to his seat.

"Well," Amelia said, "you don’t have Annie or Pet or Denise hiding in the back room. They'd have joined us by now."

"Oh, they're at Aunt Millie's hospital room," Ray said. The others blinked. "Um... I think I mentioned my cousin Tammy?" They stared. "I know I told you about her. She rescued a blood sports sylph-"

"Cruiser!" Amelia shouted.

"Trust you to remember the sylph's name," Samantha laughed.

Amelia was unapologetic. "Oh, it was so cute. Pet described him playing Battleship. And nearly beating Annie."

"Yeah, well, he's not so cute any more."

"Really?"

"What happened to him?"

"Oh, nothing bad," Ray said, waving away their expressions. "He's just-"

The front door opened. Ruth and another woman walked in. Short with long black hair, she held the woven sylph carrier Ray's girls used. She was smiling but her eyes looked as if she'd been crying.

Ray popped out of his chair to rush to her. She handed him the little ark to Ruth and wrapped her arms around the man.

"Oh, Ray," she said. "Pet's idea worked. We're going to name the baby Millie."

"That's great!" Ray enthused. He twisted a bit in the hug. "Tammy, these are our friends from the Center. Sa-"

"Samantha Anthony!" Tammy said excitedly. "And Amelia! I am SO glad to meet you both!"

"Same here," Sam said, taking her hand for a shake. "And where's Cruiser?"

Ruth sat the ark down on the table and unlatched the ramp. Foster women rushed down it to take Amelia into hugs of welcome.

And two figures crawled out the hole after them. The rag-like coverings reminded Amelia of the early days of sylphs. No one made clothes quite their scale.

She looked up at them in stunned silence. Mia had been something to get used to. Undines were twice as tall as sylphs.

These creatures...people, she insisted to herself. These people were half again as tall as Mia. Eighteen inches of young man and young woman looked up at Samantha and down at Amelia.

The man looked curious, the woman gave small, cautious smiles.

"Sam? Amelia? This is Cruiser, and his wife, Angel."

"They're gnomes!" Annie shouted happily.

Tammy took a seat near Samantha and held out her hands. Cruiser and Angel went to her to sit in her lap.

"You've heard the news about, um, our excitement last night?" Tammy asked.

"Actually," Ray said, "the whole world's been having this...excitement."

"Oh!" Ruth said. "I have to check on the -" She turned towards the bedroom door.

"I fed them," Ray said.

"Those were the plates out in the hall?" Tammy asked.

"Someone," Amelia growled over Pet's shoulder, "had better start making some sense. Soon."

Pet just hugged her harder. "They are! I mean, once you know the whole story."

"She wants the story, Pet," Denise said.

"The whole story," Annie and Amelia said at the same time, but with different voice tones. Sam smiled at the distinct emotions.

"Oh," Pet said. "Well. Okay, well, you know how Undines need sylphs that are loved and they clean up the Earth and make people young and healthy?" She stepped back, holding Amelia's hands and turning to face Samantha, too.

The Center directors nodded. "Well, gnomes are made when people torture sylphs! And the torturerers turn into sylphs. Little, tiny frightened sylphs standing next to the sylphs they were just torturing! Isn't that cool?"

Samantha glanced over to Tammy's lap. "You were a bloodsport sylph, too?" she asked Angel.

"No, I was sylphnapped. And my new owner called me Emerson because-"

"That's....okay," Amelia said. She had worked one hand free of Pet's grasp and held a palm out to the gnome. "We can see the because."

"Anyway," Ruth said, "Angel has had a tough couple of years, but we think the reason she grew was because she and Cruiser are going to have a baby."

Explanations paused while congratulations were offered. And while the couple hugged. And then Annie thought that was a great idea so all the sylphs had to hug Angel, too. Samantha satisfied social forms by giving the pregnant young woman a finger-hug on the shoulder.

The two women laughed when the baby's name was explained, and congratulated Pet on the idea. She beamed, bouncing a bit on her toes.

"Okay," Ray finally said with a pat on her head. "You can tell the rest of the story."

"OKAY! Well, see, Cruiser was Tiny Totter when he was a fighter but he got away and Tammy named him Cruiser but you know all that but you don't know that they found him and mugged Ruth to get him back and they put him in the fights and he was winning but he wouldn't kill anyone and then power flowed through him and the power went and made him bigger and it hit the Lords who were betting on him and they all turned into SYLPHS!"

Amelia and Sam turned as one to the door of the mysterious bedroom. Ruth, leaning on the wall near it, nodded.

"Yup," she said. "Twenty two men, former business owners and local politicians and a couple of professional criminals... All living the rabbit hutch life they were so happy to inflict on others."

"The food's a bit better," Cruiser said.

That drew the Anthonys' gaze to him. Then their eyes slid over to his wife. His wife of the same size.

"I grew when I saw the guy that stole Cruiser. I remember... I remember feeling very angry, then very happy and then Ruth was pulling clothes apart to grab him. And Tammy had to grip me tightly before I fell out of her hand."

"I couldn't figure out what had happened to my sylph," Tammy added. She hugged the two a bit closer. "My sylphs."

"So," Annie said. "Knowing that, the CNN headlines make sense. Bloodsports fans around the world are sylphing. And some citizens with a more...private set up. And a few of the French tattooists that bolt metal onto sylphs. But not all, so that's weird."

"It may be only the ones that get a thrill from doing it," Denise offered.

"Anyway," Pet said, "whatever magic made sylphs has had enough SHIT and is making sure the SHIT STOPS! And it makes gnomes."

"Wow," Samantha said.

"And the sylphs in the next room?" Amelia asked Ray. "What are you going to do with them now?"

"Oh, I don't own any," Ray said. "I am not allowed to own any more sylphs."

"It's the Agreement!" Pet said.

"And if I owned one," Ruth said, "I might want to make sure he gets his just deserts. But that might qualify as torturing him." She shrugged as the others winced. "And the cop and the Registry guy that were there aren't allowed to acquire sylphs during their duties."

All eyes turned to Tammy. She shrugged. "In accordance with the Sylph Act, I own all the rescued sylphs that were fighters and toys. I want to help them." Her hands stroked Cruiser's back.

"I also own some sylphs that used to be powerful people around here. And presumably have some influence on other powerful people around here." She stared off into the distance.

"Maybe... Maybe I can make some deals. You want your State Senator back? Before he accidentally reveals something about kickbacks? Then make it worth my time. Pass a few laws protecting sylphs. Or something. Build a sylph center out here, or cut back on some of the sylph paranoia, or shut up your face about sylph conspiracies."

"Blackmail," Samantha said.

"Yep," Tammy said. She looked the other woman in the eye. "It may be the only good these assholes have ever done."

"Isn't that torturing sylphs?" Amelia asked.

"The sylphs are in lined cages, eating fine foods and watching a big screen TV," Cruiser said with a laugh. "They're fine."

"It's their family that's being tortured," Tammy said. "And that's perfectly fine."

"You, uh...." Sam glanced down at Amelia. Some look passed between the two partners.

"That counts as trafficking in sylphs," Amelia said. She held her hands up as Annie, Denise and Angel all started to protest or argue. "I know, all in a good cause. But still... It's something we're opposed to."

"I wasn't going to sell them to the highest bidder!" Tammy said.

"I know." Amelia stood adamant. "But it's still what we're trying to stop."

"I think..." Sam was staring off into the distance now.

Pet started to clap her hands and giggle. "Sam's got an idea," she said.

"This should be good," Ray said.

"It is... The Sylph Center hopes..." Sam's lips moved as she searched for the right words. "We hope that people who find themselves possessing the newly small will treat them more kindly than they may appear to deserve."

"Why?" Amelia asked.

Sam's head tilted. She was still staring into the distance. Still practicing up for a press conference. "We... The Sylph Act was written during a time of hysteria, but it's been enforced with growing..."

"Confidence?" Amelia suggested. "Tedium? Boredom?"

"Something like boredom," Sam agreed.

"Complacency," Denise said.

"Exactly. We're complacent about the fate of sylphs because we... Lawmakers are complacent, because they could never face what the average sylph faces."

"No one in this room," Angel said, "is an average sylph."

"Yes, yes," Amelia said. "Why is that an issue?" she egged her owner on.

"Well, we can see that the magic is still out there. The...force that created sylphs... It, it's still-"

"She's still," Pet suggested. "Mother Earth, maybe?"

Amelia shook her head. "That'll alienate all the fundamentalists."

"So?" Annie asked.

"They're a big part of the target demographic," Ray said softly.

"If the legislators suddenly see that they could become sylphs," Sam explained. She turned back to face the people in the room. "If we can engage their self interest, make them worry about being sylphs in the future, they might make things easier for current sylphs."

"Maybe," Tammy groaned.

"You need to be the better person," Sam told the other woman. "Don't do what they would do of the tables were turned." She reached over to put a hand on Tammy's. "Do what you know is the right thing."

Cruiser gasped. Tammy looked down at her gnome. He pointed at Sam. "She knows Mildred!"

---------

Amelia and Samantha hammered out the official SC press release on the gnome situation in one of the empty bedrooms.

Ruth and Ray took phone numbers from the new sylphs and arranged their repatriation to the family, friends or business associates they chose.

Tammy spent the evening getting to know her new charges and explaining their new world.

The others sat around on the sofa, letting the events of the last day sink in.

Annie crawled over to put a hand on Angel's belly. She smiled and claimed that she could feel the baby kick. Pet barely yanked her out of the way before Cruiser fell to the spot she'd been kneeling at.

"It's about as big as a BB, Cruiser!" Angel protested.

"Really," Denise said from the other side of the gnome's stomach. "Annie was teasing."

Cruiser's face fell. Angel tugged on his ear to draw him into a kiss. "Oh, don't be sad, lover. You WILL be the first one to feel him kick."

"Second," Denise corrected. Cruiser glared down at her.

Angel rolled her eyes. "She means me, idiot. I'll be the first, you'll be the second." He relaxed a little. "But Mildred and Tammy will have to fight it out for third."

"Money on Millie," Cruiser said instantly. "Great grandma fights dirty."

The others laughed.



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