Annie LXIII: Badd girl...

(Chronological index: Ray as College Senior)

"Ray?"

"Yes, Annie?"

"Ray, when you played D&D, did you ever eat a party member?"

"We were forced to eat the paladin's steed, but it wasn't really a party member. Why?" He looked over to the desk where his sylph walked over a magazine article.

"BADD says that D&D uses demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, rape, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex, sorry, that's sex perversion, homosexuality, prostitution, satanic type rituals, gambling, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning, necromantics, divination and other teachings."

"Bad?" he asked. "Who is bad?"

"Bothered about Dungeons and Dragons," she explained. A bare foot trailed along one line in the write-up. "I don't remember cannibalism."

"God save me," Groves muttered. The new roommate was a poor replacement for Thomas. Groves lacked any appreciable sense of humor, for one.

He had also taken one look at Ray's Rocky Horror t-shirt and announced that he was sorry, but Ray was clearly doomed to Hell.

Annie had shouted that it was good to know they'd be together for the afterlife. Groves' eyes had bugged out at the sight of the sylph and he'd knelt by his bed to pray.

The Fosters suspected one of the Residential Staff was laughing up their sleeve when they wrote his room assignment.

"Wait, let me see the list," Ray said. He got off the bed to sit over the magazine. "The game doesn't USE homosexuality. There's no table for it."

"You forgot the Bard Durin expansion module," Annie pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, Butt Darts and Pirate Poofters." Groves covered his ears with his hands and moaned. "I wouldn't have thought someone like..." He scanned the page. "Like Patricia Pulling would know about those modules."

He lifted the mag. "Okay, from the top. Demonology's not quite right. There's one form of magic user. At some levels they gain demon spells."

"And at some levels, demons are random encounters," she added.

"Yes. Ran into a few that way. Witchcraft, voodoo, demon summoning, necromancy, divination, all those are just lumped together as spells clerics or magic users do.

"Murder is something every class does," Annie said. "Even the paladins have to kill someone from time to time."

"Rape," Ray said, tapping his chin. "I don't recall a rape adventure."

"You should write one up!" Annie said cheerfully. "And you can throw in cannibalism! Get all your tickets punched for P. Pulling!"

"See?" Groves shouted. "Your little monster is trying to seduce you down a dark path to damnation!"

"I already subscribe to Playboy," Ray said. "According to you, I don't need anyone seducing me onto that path."

"But each sin takes you further from even the possibility of salvation!" Groves hissed.

Ray and his pet made eye contact.

And thus the First Annual Patty Pulling Memorial D&D Crawl was born. Objections that Patty Pulling wasn't dead were answered with, "Yeah, but she failed her save."

People either laughed or walked away shaking their heads.

-----------

BADD had nothing specific against sylphs, but a number of thumpers did. There was an overlap of protest against gaming and sylphing. Naturally, Ray made Annie the Dungeon Master.

Pictures of her from the gaming days (her in the bleached blonde afro) were put on posters recruiting gamers. Tantalizingly small stars covered her naughtiest bits.

The general story line was that a religion dedicated to a falsely-pure deity was taking control of the Theocracy of the Pale. It was really a demons' conspiracy to crush the Real Religion of the land. But until they consolidated their power, they remained, to all appearances, just too good to be true.

Norallus, as an NPC, was recruiting several parties to attack the power base of the Too-Goodies. The idea was to infiltrate the shiny white temples and offer various perversions. No sin was too base to be considered.

Then the priests, lamas, gurus or philosophers, or the demons acting as such, would either condemn the acts...or join in. Thus the true nature of the religion would be revealed, their credibility dashed and their tapestries stained.

Each of the twelve parties that started voted on the MFP (Most Filthiest Player) who ascended to a more crucial party attacking deeper in the Theocracy, and the Cardinals of the Too Goodies.

The final party would attempt to seduce the Ayatatta of Fornicata, bringing the whole false religion down in a slightly smelly pile of sticky floors and bare skin.

Veronica's gaming party had a chip on their shoulder from the start. They were fine with the blasphemy and sadism and cannibalism. They drew the line at rape, though.

Just as Veronica started her speech on the topic, Annie cut the legs out from under her. "No one says it has to be the party members, or women, that get raped."

Ronny stared, then looked around the table at her members. "And all these campaigns," Susan said softly, "I've been sticking the blade of my sword into the bad guys. Should have been the handle..."

Ray enjoyed being Annie's dice bitch for that Crawl, but many of the men in the audience slunk out before the end. Veronica had....issues.

An elf in a different party cast spells to amplify her outrageously high charisma, then stalked naked through the temple casting 'Command Word: Ejaculate' at the Too Goodies.

Her team mates followed along, choking the helpless (if happy) priests with Unicorn-horn dildos and desecration-flavored lubricants.

The Army of Horny Zombies marched through their assigned zones. Their onslaught was unstoppable and 'we just keep coming' was voted the best war cry of the Memorial Tournament.

By the end of the first day, they'd moved the game three times. The onlookers had filled the lounge, then a conference room, then the empty dining hall. They finished on the stage of an auditorium and it was still standing room only.

Thomas promised to set up some sort of Closed Circuit TV by the next day.

Ray collapsed on his bed, tiny Game God clutched to his chest.

"Nothing above," he said. "That's as emotionally draining as... As..."

"As judging a coloring contest," his sylph replied.

"If you were doing good things," Groves sneered, "Godly things, you'd feel fulfilled, not drained."

"I dunno," Ray said. "I'm always pretty drained after successful sex. And my partners usually call on God during that."

"Over and over and over," Annie said sourly. "Makes me want to climb out of the cage and sprinkle you guys with holy water."

"You do it with HER in the room?" Groves asked in shock.

"Groves, with some of my master's girlfriends? He'd have done it with you in the room."

"That's.... That’s... exhibitionism! Trying to seduce others to voyeurism! It's a sign of a very shallow soul."

"No," Annie said. "It's a sign of their bewbies." She curved hands over her chest. Way out over her chest. "Booooooooobies."

"Annie," Ray said with a shake of his head. "No woman has breasts so big that I'd have-"

"Carol," Annie said.

"Oh, yeah......." He leaned back and smiled. Groves left.

--------

Veronica's priestess was blessing a crock full of victims' eyeballs for breakfast when someone from the dean's office came to check on them.

Annie judged that everyone gained ten hit points and a plus one for every missile attack for the rest of the day. "Cause elf eyes got carotene!"

The aide raised a hand to speak to them but was interrupted by all the cheering and foot stamping. He blinked to see that beyond the floodlights, the theatre was packed full of humanity. Many were in costume and waving replica or real weaponry.

Whatever his mission had been, he abandoned it and fled. Ray marked the time. He hoped Annie would be done before the dean marshaled his forces. Or before whoever was complaining to the dean did so.

Meanwhile Annie was describing the inner sanctum of the Ayatatta of Fornicata.

The party immediately began setting up. The half-orc slaver stood in the doorway and noticed the shiniest spot on the floor. He chained one of his slaves to the spot and set the others to covering her with olive oil and mood enhancing lotions.

The multiclassed thief-illusionist-fighter-thief gnome (who had two rankings of thief because she was just so damned greedy) shifted the pillows and sheets on the bed to simulate fornicating inhabitants, enhancing the construction with an illusion of rhythmic motion and deep moans.

The elf unpacked three bullhorns with a permanent 'Command Word' spell and aimed them at the door. Annie judged that one of the slaves crossed the line-of-command and fell to the ground groping herself and cooing.

Her owner slid her across the floor and chained her to the slave laying there.

Annie was running back and forth across her notes. The advantage of being able to write with 1mm letters was that you never had to turn the page. But you also couldn't use an index in any meaningful way. Everything was on Page 1.

Ray reminded her of the mural she'd designed so meticulously. "OH! Yeah! There's a wall hanging tapestry of the Too Goodies idea of paradise!"

In moments the gnome was adding illusionary mustaches and whopping big genitals to the figures as directed by the half-minotaur-half-sharkman-half-werewolf (whose father had been a minotaur, and whose mother had been remarkably poor at math).

The sorcerer animated 47 vials of Drow Elf Fly (an aphrodisiac made of spider venom and mushrooms grown on rotting corpses. It was guaranteed to get you off AND bump you off.) and gave them instructions to pour themselves down the throat of the Ayatatta of Fornicata.

Annie's impression of their high-pitched, multiple aye-aye's set the crowd to roars of laughter.

The fighters grouped by the door. The spent time sharpening their throwing dildos and checking their blasphemous armor.

"Have we forgotten anything?" Annie asked the players. They looked at each other and shrugged. She looked at her dice bitch. He shrugged. She waved and he lifted her to the lectern. She waited until he lowered the mike to her face.

"Have we forgotten anything?" she asked the crowd.

Various voices offered suggestions. She stood on the edge with a hand to her ear. One call got picked up by others until an entire section was chanting: Gambling!

"Damn," she said. "It just can't be an Annual Patty Pulling Memorial D&D Crawl without the GAMBLING!"

Ray returned her to the table. Darren shrugged and lifted a pair of six siders. "Draw lots for the dwarf!" he said. "Whoever rolls closest to me gets my shortest slave!"

People scrambled for their 6d.

When the cleavage-enhanced pygmy and her two breasts had waddled over to stand by her new owner, Annie announced footsteps in the outer hall.

Someone started playing a recording of Bolero, the lust song from the movie '10.'

The the Ayatatta of Fornicata entered. He stared at the scenery for a moment. The illusionist-etc. used a scroll to toss a Light of Cleansing at him. He shrieked and fought clear of his burning clothing. (Fire is the cleanser.)

And then stood, naked, visible to all in her natural succubus form. "BASTARDS!" she shouted. She stomped her foot, slid on the mood enhancing lotion puddle and fell tit-first onto the naked slaves.

"Roll for initiative!" Annie shouted. Dice flew. Alcohol flowed. Daggers, both edged and metaphorical, penetrated. People screamed. Not-quite-people moaned.

The demon's delayed reaction to the command word had her shapeshifting a dick, loosing it then losing it, and growing another in quick succession.

The floor got much slipperier.

Ray was amazed at Annie's grasp of the combat orgy. She knew who was where, who needed to make a roll vs. dexterity to walk, slip or glide to their attack, who had a basic concentration challenge in the vicinity of bared genitals and who had what plusses in the vicinity of demonic sex offenders.

All he had to do was roll the dice and give her numbers.

------------

She was sleeping the sleep of the just in his pocket when it was all over. Veronica told him he had a treasure and hoped he honored its full worth.

Darren said he'd retire the night's character. "I don't think it'll ever feel 'clean' again."

Jarrod had a similar problem with the dice he'd used. "They feel sticky..."

"I'm not sure if there can be a Second Annual Patty Pulling Memorial D&D Crawl," Thomas said as he took down the cameras. "Annie's a hard act to follow."

"True that," Ray said. Susan smiled at the pride in his voice. She handed him a t-shirt. He unfolded it.

"Dungeon Master," he read. An arrow indicated that the label was for the contents of the pocket. There was also a label there. Tiny letters on the edge captioned an arrow that indicated the bigger wearer. "Introducing my dice slave."

"We'll cherish it forever," he promised. She kissed his cheek, then his mouth.

"That's for Annie," she said. He promised to give it to her later.

Graves was already in bed when Ray slipped into the room. He slid Annie into her cage and tucked her into bed.

The t-shirt was stretched across the back of his chair right where she'd see it when they woke up.

He reached down under the pillow and took out yet another copy of the New Testament. A slip of paper cut from an issue of Playboy put a centerfold in 1 Timothy and the book went out in the lounge.

He came back in and stowed his gaming bag. Then sat and stared at his rare treasure for a while. When she started to snore he smiled and went to bed.







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