Annie LXIX: Offices

(Chronological index: After Ray's graduation, before meeting Denise)

Ray set Annie down by his terminal and logged on. She watched his face for a while. He started work happy enough. Glancing at his clipboard of tasks, though, sucked the life right out of his face.

A degree in computer sciences, and he had a job with a company that couldn't tell programming from shinola.

Four years of college so someone in personnel could look at his degree, shrug and say, "Well, he's comfortable with computers. Let's have him in data entry! He'll like that!"

Then an office manager that grouped all the sylph owners together so-

"Shoosh," Ray said, waving her towards the Sylph Tunnel. "You're not supposed to be on my desk while I'm working."

"Riiiiiiight," she said. "Me sitting here is distracting you." She shucked her shirt and placed it beside his monitor. "Knowing I'm naked with four other naked sylphs, though, that keeps you working."

"Rules," he said. He typed until the buffer was full, then sat back to wait for the mainframe to catch up to him.

She slid out of her shorts and scampered over to the plastic tube. After years of secret travel through a drain pipe, climbing the ribbed tunnel up to the top of the partitions was beyond easy.

She got to the elbow at the top, waggled her butt in case Master was watching, and crawled down to the Lounge.

Two other sylphs were there. They sat here and there in the big round cage. Some sort of instrumental music played on the transistor radio decorated to resemble a jukebox.

Annie said hello and sprawled across the sponge sofa. "Everyone have a good drive in?"

Marcia flipped her off. Any reference to driving reminded Marcia of the Ferrari she wrapped around a parking lot divider on The Day.

Normally, Annie wasn't one to rub it in, of course. But when Marcia found out Annie hadn't even graduated high school, she had begun to tease the younger sylph about opportunities lost.

Bitch.

Martini rolled her eyes at the exchange. In a room full of former Miss Congeniality winners, Mar would be the annoyingly perky one.

She thought everyone under a foot tall was 'all in this together.' And should act that way. Annie repeatedly prescribed cheap trendy mind expanding hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals for her edification. Or a short sharp shock. Martini just shook her head and giggled.

The other two arrived together. Bonnie and Fixit's owners car pooled. They were expected to get along like sisters (or, Annie suspected, like cheerleaders in a porno), so they were bubbly and bright where their owners could see them.

In the rather limited privacy of the Lounge, they barely avoided bloodshed. "Just stay away from me today, Fix," Bonnie was saying as they came in.

"Suits me," Fixit said. She smiled at Annie as she sat on the other side of the sofa.

Actually, none of the women in the cage were too bad, Annie knew. Marcia rubbed her wrong on certain topics, but Annie would admit that she might be a bit abrasive from time to time, too.

One on one, she'd consider most of the other sylphs friendly if not friends. Together, though, they were prisoners of a sylph-suspicious company policy.

They were the bitches.

"Okay," Marcia said. "Any juicy weekend gossip?"

Fixit and Bonnie's gossip was, as usual, about what the other's owner had done to the other sylph. Martini talked about what happened at her mistress' regular Friday-to-Saturday party.

Marcia's owner's family was a regular soap opera. Annie wasn't sure if any of it was made-up, but there were no holes she could detect. It all hung together into a narrative whole and the drama was captivating.

Just as the teen pregnancy discovery was reaching the ears of the grandparents, a brunette giant tapped the cage.

"Marcia? If anyone asks, I'm going to be in the Print Room for a bit."

"Okay, Boss Lady," Marcia said. She waved cheerily. The giant woman blew a kiss and nodded at the other sylphs.

Marcia soured as the woman departed. "A Master's in Finance and now I'm a yellow sticky."

"You're a pretty damned hot yellow sticky," Annie said. Marcia looked at her suspiciously.

"She's right," Martini said. "Your tan lines are gone! Have you been sunning yourself?"

"I was thinking her waist is smaller," Fixit said. Bonnie agreed.

Marcia preened under a flurry of unsolicited compliments. Annie offered a few, though she'd only wanted the woman to stop bitching and get on with the story.

Before that resumed, though, one of the plastic flags on the side of the cage tipped over.

"Annie," Martini said.

"Yeah," she agreed. She crawled quickly down the tunnel.

"Forgot I had the snacks today," Ray said when she reached his desk. He slid her a plastic bag with a handful of candy corn in it. The three foot length of twine was already tied to it.

She thanked him and turned to climb back to her...friends.

----------

Some time around noon, Fixit made a discovery. She'd been a little stir crazy and went for a crawl. She came back with news. "Hey, that guy they had on the end of the aisle? They moved him."

"Well, it was only temporary," Martini pointed out. "He doesn't have a sylph."

"But they left his phone!" Fixit said. "And it's working!"

"They never do that," Marcia said suspiciously.

"I know!"

"So...." Bonnie sneered. "What good does that do us?"

"We could order pizza," Marcia said with a laugh.

"That would be stupid," Bonnie said.

"I dare you," Annie replied. Everyone froze. Annie wondered what dain bramage had caused her to say that. Had Ray dropped her on her head? Or was it just from hanging out with him and his peers at college.

Still, there was no backing out.

"Sure," Annie said. "Climb down, lift the receiver, call Pizza Hut, order something. Then hang-up and run."

"Why?" Bonnie asked.

"Because it's more fun than sitting here discussing Ray alphabetizing his cassette tapes for three hours."

"I'll do it," Martini said. She stood.

"No," Marcia said. "Annie dared me." She stood and walked to the tube. The others stared. "Are you coming?

The high cubicle walls hid the empty desk from any scrutiny. It was back against the wall. The cubes on either side were also empty.

Sylphs crouched in the Tube to watch. Marcia used a small ruler from her owner's desk to lever the handpiece up. Just enough to let her make the call.

She used her feet to dial a number most of the sylphs had memorized. Most people in their owners' pay grade were familiar customers.

She ordered a large pizza with about seven toppings, gave the company's address, and promised a big tip.

Then she slid the ruler free. The handpiece dropped back into place. She giggled and ran for the Tube.

That was the start.

By the end of the next weekend, Annie had designed and constructed a spinner. First spin picked a sylph to challenge, second spin picked the challenger. By the middle of the week they were getting quite involved.

VZZZZzzzzzzsh. "Martini! You get to send..." VZZZZzzzzzzsh. "Bonnie on a prank call."

"Okay." They leaned forward. Martini had been slow to join the ranks of the pranks. And her first ones were pretty lame. 'ask for the time, then ask if they're sure.' But when she realized it was the people they called that were the victims, not the sylph, she got...interesting.

"Call the Public Health Office at the courthouse," she said. "Ask for the shots required to visit Vulcan. Be sure to mention that you've been to Andor and that you hope there's overlap." Bonnie giggled and they all crawled off.

Marcia's challenges were pretty open ended. "Annie, I want you to call the Emergency Room and get a Nurse to put you on hold."

"Okay, gimmee a minute." She thought it over as they crawled to the phone. Then she smiled. She called the number Marcia read to her.

"University Hospital, Emergency Room, how can I help you?"

“Yeah, sweetheart, I'm sittin' here eatin' a bucket a' deep fried double-stuffed Oreos in waffle batter with ice-creamed toppin'. Can you put me on hold and just check back ever so often, see if I’ve had a heart attack yet?” She paused. There was a bit of silence at the other end. “Baptist's use'ly lets me do it, but they’re real busy this afternoon.”

"Um............... Hold please..." Music started to play. Annie looked up until the others nodded. They'd heard the elevator version of Rock and Roll Part Two, arranged for piano and cello.

--------

Marcia was calling a costume store. For once, she was allowed to reveal that she was a sylph. She was to try to get them to suggest a costume. One that would let her mingle with humans. Platform shoes and...

She had just started to dial when her owner stepped into the cubicle.

"There you are!" Boss Lady said. Marcia squeaked in surprise.

Most of the watching sylphs crawled through the Tunnel to get away from the cubicle. Annie lingered.

Boss Lady appeared to completely ignore the prank call. "I was looking all over for you!" She turned and walked out. Annie scrambled for BL's cube.

There was a stack of paper on the desk there. A huge stack of the tractorized stuff the company's financial reports were printed on.

Annie's face lit up at the sight. She remembered three-fold paper from the computer labs at Ray's college.

Then it clouded as she remembered being trapped in one of the layers of carbon paper.

BL had had to take the long way around the cubicle row so Annie had reached her vantage point before the two got there.

Marcia's owner was talking as she walked in. "...to Shipping by two so it'll be in their offices by Friday." She sat down and placed Marcia by the stack. "So I have to separate the five copies from the four layers of carbon paper between them."

"Okay," Marcia said. "How can I help?"

"I dunno... I just... There's got to be a quick way to do this, right?" She shook her head. "I went to ask Ray but he's out somewhere."

"Use the decollator," Annie said softly. Marcia's head came up quickly.

"What?" she asked.

"I said I asked Ray, but-"

"No, no, Boss Lady, Annie said..." She beckoned. Annie hesitated. She wasn't supposed to be on the desks during working hours. But neither was Marcia... And it was company business.

She dropped down the Tunnel to the desk. Marcia was beside the outlet.

"What's a deck...?"

"Decollator," she said. "It's a machine that splits paper copies from carbons and stacks them. Ray used to use them all the time during his second year."

"So," Boss asked slowly. "Do, uh, we have one?"

Annie pointed at the five-fold paper. "If we have that, then we for sure have decollators."

"And...are they complicated?" Boss asked. Almost tearfully.

"Not once you get a handle on them," Annie said. That skipped the night she looked like a negative zone zombie as she tried to help Ray get such a handle....

Marcia grabbed her elbow and spoke softly. "Look, kid, I know you don't like me much, but... If you could help my owner?"

Annie looked the other sylph in the eye. "I, uh, I like you fine, Marcia. Except. When you treat me like a kid."

Marcia didn't protest or deny. She just nodded gravely. "In that case, Miss Foster, could you please help?"

Ray would have helped. Ray was always being asked or invited or pleaded with to solve one or another problem. The place needed an IT department, but until they realized that they had Ray.

And if he wasn't close... "Okay," she said to the human. She lifted her arms over her head to be picked up. "Take me to the Print room!"

---------------

There was a decollator, but it was only a three-fold design. "Can we still use it?" Boss Lady asked in terror, glancing at the clock.

"Oh, sure, calm yourself," Annie said. "We'll strip off two copies on one run, then the last three on a second run." She waved towards the control panel.

BL was hopeless at taking directions. But after a few tries they finally got everything lined up. Her breathing actually stopped as the first few sheets fell into the hoppers, folding themselves gently into place.

A few coworkers wandered through. One or two were surprised to learn what the arrangement of rollers and guides was for. Others were surprised that Grace knew how to run it.

"I always ask Ray," Zoe said.

"I basically did," Grace said. She held Annie up and pat her head. The sylph tried to decide if that was a compliment or a demeaning interpretation of her as an accessory of Ray.

She chose to be generous. This time. Marcia would owe her, though. She smiled at the other sylph who nodded thankfully.

Grace was still confused on the second run, but Marcia had a good grasp on the mechanics. She directed placement and the last three stacks started to form.

A grateful woman rushed the sylphs back to the Lounge, then ran down towards Shipping.

Marcia and Annie slapped hands victoriously, then relaxed onto the sofa.

They had barely sat down when Ray showed up. "Annie? My boss wants to see us. Something about company resources and a policy violation?"

--------

"Don't worry, revered Master," Annie said softly in the big ear she was hanging onto. "I'll tell them it wasn't your fault."

"What wasn't my fault?" he mumbled.

"The less I tell you, the better you can play innocent." She finished just as he stepped into Mr. Tyrone's office.

"Foster! What the hell has your sylph been doing?"

"I don't know, sir, she hasn't told me."

"Exactly," she said quietly. He hissed angrily.

"I have several reports," Tyrone went on, "that she's been in the PRINT ROOM!"

"It was harmless fun that we say what now?" Annie asked, confused. "What, this is about that?"

"What did you think we were in trouble for?" Ray asked.

"Shut up," she said. "Wait, the print room? That's all!? I helped someone run the decollator. For company business."

"Oh, that wimpy one in the corner?" Ray asked. "The three parter someone bought the same time they bought a ton of five-part-"

"You ADMIT she was in the Print Room?" Tyrone shouted. Annie clapped hands to her sensitive ears.

Ray picked her up and held her in his hands. "I'm four feet away, sir, I can hear you without yelling."

Their supervisor fired off a string of rather bland and repetitive profanity. Annie began to fear her vocabulary had peaked in the dorm.

Through the whole thing Ray stood quietly. Tyrone sat back in his chair. "Well?"

"Well, I'm sure she had a good reason to be in there. For one thing, some employee would have had to carry her into-"

"The employees are authorized to be in there. She-" and he stabbed a finger in Annie's direction. "She isn't. She might have seen something. Something classified!"

"Technically, if we're printing classified files in that room, we have bigger concerns," Ray said. "But even if she saw proprietary data, she wouldn't spread it around. She has no opportunity."

"It doesn't matter if she did or would!" Tyrone replied. "The point is that company policy clearly states that the damned creature isn't to be wandering around the building, getting into matters that don't concern her."

"That's true," Ray said to Annie. "It is company policy." There was something about his tone... The sylph knew that she wasn't in trouble, at least not with her owner.

"Sorry," she said. And she was. If she'd known someone was going to tattle on her she'd have done something worth tattling on...

Ray promised his supervisor that it would never happen again.

"How?" Tyrone asked. "You going to leave her at home?"

No. Oh, no. All day in the apartment? Alone with basic cable? She'd die. Ray wouldn't abandon her to that, would he? Could he?

"I won't bring her into the office," Ray promised. "If she can't obey a reasonable company policy in a reasonable manner, then there's no reason to bring her in."

Nooooooooooooooo! she cried, but only on the inside. She wouldn't give Tyrone the show of her being disobedient.

Then Ray turned without being dismissed and walked out.

Instead of heading to his cubicle, he stopped at the Lounge. "Say your goodbyes, Annie," he said.

Everyone was somber in the cage.

"Goodbyes?" Marcia asked.

"Someone said they saw a sylph in the Print room," Annie said. "And I guess I'm pretty identifiable."

She shook hands with the girls, fending off Martini's attempt to hug. Marcia made sounds about getting Boss Lady to explain.

"Explain to Ray, but please don't give Management an excuse to get mad at her, okay?" Annie made her promise.

Then Ray tugged on the string to tip the flag. "Oh, Annie!" Fixit muttered. "What are we doing to do without you?"

"Call the Sanitation Department and ask about the policy for dead bodies left by the curb. Do they need to be bagged, and does the bag need to be opaque or clear?" They smiled and nodded, and then she was in the Tunnel.

Ray offered her clothes in his palm, then went back to typing on his terminal.

She dressed then stood, subdued, at the end of his keyboard. He waved to the screen. "Did I miss anything?"

"I'm sure something can be improved," she said, turning to face the screen.

It was a letter of resignation. She stared. He wrote about misuse of his talents and institutional ineptitude for personnel and personal freedoms. Nothing about sylphs was mentioned. But obviously...

"Is this about me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Tip of the iceberg that broke the camel's back," he said. He waved at the screen. "Everything there is sincere. I've been thinking about this for a while."

Warm fingers wrapped around her waist and lifted her up to his face. "The only reason I've been slow to leave is because few businesses let you bring a pet to work. So if I can't do that anymore, then this will be like any other job."

"I don't want to be the reason we're homeless," she said.

"Oh, Mom and Dad'll always take you in," he said. "I'll be living in my car down by the waterfront, but Dad just sprung for HBO."

"But I'd feel all guilty," she said. "At least until the popcorn was ready."

"Yeah, well," he said. He printed the letter and stood. "Let's go to the Print Room and put this in Tyrone's in box."

"Well, la, sir, you do take a woman to the most interesting places. La."



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