Annie LXXI: Hostess

(Chronological index: Between their first date and the wedding)

Ray opened the door to let the birthday party in.

Denise hugged and kissed him on the step then entered. Carla was carrying Pet and Buttercup. Each gave Ray a peck on the cheek as they came inside.

Chuck handed Carolyn up the steps. She gave Ray a hug, Chuck shook his hand. He carried a paper sack that had PRESENTS written on it with a felt pen.

Ray begged off the tour as the ribs were already cooking. He invited them to make themselves at home, then stepped to the deck.

Denise showed everyone what there was to show of the small house. It was clean, but clearly a bachelor's residence. The spare bedroom had two computers and a minifridge. It looked more lived-in than his real bedroom.

The sylphs looked back and forth but saw no sign of Annie. It wasn't long before everyone was wondering where the little woman was hiding.

They filed out onto the deck, still looking around. Carla saw a pitcher of iced tea on the patio table and set the sylphs down next to it. The others say, except Denise. She stepped over by her fiancé.

"Ray?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Where's Annie?"

"Ah...." He sighed. "Annie wanted everything just PERFECT for Buttercup's party."

"We saw the balloons," Pet said. "There's nothing wrong with those, is there?" She sounded anxious. "There's plenty of balloons."

"The balloons are fine, Pet," Carla assured the sylph.

"And there're presents," Chuck pointed out. "I put ours next to the pile. There's nothing missing there."

"What happened to the cake?" Carolyn asked shrewdly. Ray's shoulders sagged.

"She wanted everything perfect," he said softly.

-------------

"Come on! Hurry!" Annie shouted.

"Yes, yes," Ray said as he sauntered into the Publix. "They close in only eight more hours, we should run."

"Well, if there's anything WRONG we need plenty of time to fix it!" She pounded on his chest. He stepped up his pace a little bit.

She decided not to push it any further. Master had already been wonderfully indulgent. He had let her invite Buttercup to have her birthday at their house.

Then he'd let her pick the decorations, the balloons, the presents and the menu. He'd done everything she could think of to make this a memorable experience for the older sylph.

Annie was coming to love hanging out with Pet, and she enjoyed every visit with Denise's family. She knew she came across a little...standoffish, now and again.

She didn't want the family to think Pet was going to be stuck with a vile roommate after the wedding. She wanted them to approve of her. She wanted them to like her.

Ray, Mom and Dad assured her that there was nothing to worry about. She valued their opinions, really, though she never let Ray know it. But still, this was the first time she'd been engaged. She wanted to do it right.

Ray either understood her feelings or he was desperate to make the family like him, too. He hardly quibbled no matter how crazy his pet was acting.

So he'd splurged money on everything Annie pointed at and had it customized to her standards.

He also didn't care if the vendors were scandalized that a sylph was calling the tunes. If she said it wasn't good enough, no amount of appeals to Ray made a difference.

She'd figured the worst thing about being a sylph was how few quality things were made for their scale.

Some clothes were, some furniture, but by no means all.

Pet had gossiped a bit about stories her mother had told her. Annie became fixated on getting a canopy bed custom made for the sylph.

She made a long speech about getting it right, just right, justifying the textures and the materials, and how Buttercup would love it, and how anyone that loved Buttercup would love them for making Buttercup that happy...

Then she stood on her bedside table, wrung her hands and waited for his answer to her heartfelt plea. Ray had nodded and found places that did that.

She promised him that she'd never, ever put another Gumi Bear on his pillow. He started singing Billy Joel's 'Just The Way You Are."

Annie had covered her ears and threatened to slit his vocal cords in his sleep. He laughed and ruffled her hair.

Now it was the day before the party and the last minute was upon them. The ribs had been meticulously rubbed with an old family recipe and sat in the spare fridge in the garage...rubinating or whatever pork did.

Annie was unsure about the details. Ray promised her the ribs would be perfect. For once she accepted his word at face value.

The bed had been picked up and carefully inspected for quality, sturdiness and transportability.

The balloons were inflated, the cards signed, the auxiliary presents wrapped, the table settings chosen and inspected and Chuck's favorite beer cooled in the fridge.

The baker slid the cake onto the counter for inspection. Ray lifted Annie over it. She scanned for smudges, mistakes, misspellings or demeaning little for-children flourishes.

She saw nothing that fired her fuse. She glanced up at Master. Ray nodded, he saw nothing wrong.

They paid while the cake was boxed, then he picked it up.

"MAKE WAY!" Annie shrilled. "LOOK OUT! DELICATE DELICACIES! EXPENSIVE DECORATION!"

"Annie, I don't need-"

"BACK OFF!!" she shouted at a toddler that swung into Ray's path.

"HEY!" Ray snapped. Annie apologized at the kid and his mother. The kid thought 'tiny lady' was pretty. The mom thought she needed a muzzle.

"Some days," Ray admitted. He managed to navigate to the car without incident.

Annie sat on the shoulder of the passenger seat and watched it the whole way home.

"IT'S TIME!"

The shriek sent Ray into a full-body flinch. He grasped at the arm of the sofa but was unable to stop himself from sliding to the floor. Annie danced around a flailing foot and ran to where his cheek was within her reach.

"You said you'd start the ribs! Now! Now's the time you wanted to start the ribs. Get the charcoal! Get the chimney. Do you want some gas? Should we soak the charcoal?"

He growled and picked his sylph up. "Look, I said 'about' now. And it's a Sunday. 'Now' on my weekend is 'fixing to start getting ready to go' time reference. Not COMMEX OPERATION CHAR-RIB COMBUSTION."

She looked a little subdued in his grip. "I just want it perfect," she said. He blew air through his lips. His hold tightened a little as he fought his way to his feet.

"Look, Annie, my pet, my love, my loyal opponent... If I start cooking dinner right now, will you explain to me why you're all out of sorts on this? I mean, Buttercup is one of the more forgiving people I've ever met. And she lives in a family that loves you like an adopted daughter."

She twisted a bit, glancing at the door. "Okay, okay." He slid her into his pocket and went to push The Big Bad Barrel into position. "I'm starting, Mistress, I'm starting."

He listened as she tried to explain why this party meant so much to her. Why showing Denise and Pet that she could be nice was crucial.

"I'm going to put a Joel CD on infinite repeat," Ray muttered. He sat down across from the chimneys as the charcoal burned to embers.

"They've met you. They are getting to know you. They are not suggesting that I sell you and buy a 'nice' sylph for the wedding." He lifted her up to his face. "They really do, for no understandable reason, like you just the way you are, okay?"

"Okay," she said. She glanced at the twin chimneys on the rack of the barbeque. "The flames died out! Pour some gas on them!"

"They're fine," he said.

"No, no, they're going cold! The ribs'll be ruined!" She pounded on his thumb. "Fix it!" Ray stared at her for a second, then stood.

-------

He propped a phone book against the door of the cage. "Now, just relax," he said. "Take a nap. Compose a birthday haiku. Figure out your best-man speech for the wedding."

"I'm your best man?" She stopped shaking the bars of the cage door and stared up at him. "Really?"

"Really. Unless you get much more aggravating today...."

"I'llbegood!"she said. "I'll... I'll take a nap!" She dove onto her bed and pretended to sleep. He shook his head and went back to the fire.

And hour later he had the racks of ribs slotted into a home-made vertical rib holder. He closed the lid and checked the BBB's temperature.

He was just sitting down when he heard his mom drive up. She'd been instrumental in finding the right drapes for the canopy bed and wanted to see Buttercup's face.

The front door opened, he called a welcome. She poked her head out long enough to see what he was doing.

Then Annie was calling from her prison. Wailing, begging for release, crying for a shoulder to cry on.

Gwen released the little beast. Ray watched idly as she arranged some balloons and lined up some wrapped presents.

She carried the sylph into the kitchen and brought out the cake. Ray came back inside to help remove it from the box. Then he went to put the empty in an out-of-the-way corner.

That's when Annie started to wail...

Ray found his mom holding the sylph over the cake. Annie was curled up in the cupped hands, pointing down and bawling.

He looked to see if there was any break in the icing, or other problems. "Annie, I don't see a problem."

"I's.....i's....i's..." Her sobbing was too intense for her to form words. A small part of his brain said he should be noting this on a calendar.

Mom handed the pet over to her master. He cuddled her to his chest, against his heart. It may have calmed her a bit, but not enough.

"Where's the receipt?" Mom asked after a moment.

"Taped to the box," he said. She stepped out. He stroked Annie's back. "Come on, come on, you're going to be all puffy-eyed for the party." He stepped over to the door so he could keep an eye on the barbeque.

Mom came back and checked the cake against the order. "Ah," she said. "You wrote-"

"She wrote," Ray said.

"It's not Annie's fault," Mom said.

"Oh, I didn't mean that!" he said. She rolled her eyes.

"Whoever made the order wrote that the inscription should read 'Happy Birthday, Buttercup.' But the cake says 'Happy Birthday.'"

"They missed her name?" Ray asked, shocked. Mom pointed a finger. He stepped over. Centered under 'birthday' was a flower. A yellow flower. "Is that a-"

"A buttercup," Mom said.

Ray laughed. He couldn't help himself. Annie collapsed.

"Ray," Mom muttered, "don't be an insensitive bad word." She carefully took the sylph away from the clod and tried to comfort her. "It's not perfect."

"It's funny," Ray said. "It's one of those stories that we'll be laughing about for years."

Annie shook her head. Mom's thumb stroked her back. "Annie's afraid that Buttercup will think she's being made fun of." Annie nodded. "She'll think Annie's making fun of her." The sylph wailed again.

"Well, it would be in character," Ray said. Silence struck the room. Annie stared up at her master, betrayed beyond imagining.

"Hang on, Annie," Mom said. She beckoned her son closer. Then kicked him in the shin. Hard.

"OW!"

"It is NOT in character for Annie to prey on people as polite and tolerant and generally nice as Miss Buttercup!"

"Mom, I meant-"

"Have you ever heard of Buttercup doing or saying anything that would make YOU think, 'I need to sic Annie on her.' Ever?"

"No, Mom, but-"

"Then apologize to Annie while we figure out how to fix this."

Ray ignored his throbbing shin and dropped to his knees. He cupped his hands and Mom handed his pet over.

"Please forgive me, I did not think it through, I know you would never mock Buttercup, certainly not about her name, and certainly not today. I misspoke, I misthought, I wish you could possibly forgive me."

"I will kill you in your sleep," she swore in a deep, level voice.

He smiled and stood. "Okay, that's sorted. I guess we can take the cake back to-"

Mom was already grabbing her purse. "Box it, Ray. You watch the fire. I'll take it home. I've got everything we need." She paused to hold a hand out. "Want to come along?"

Annie was speechless once more. "She says," Ray said after a moment, "that she trusts you implicitly, but she feels very strongly that she has to at least be there.

"And she hopes you won't take it personally if she watches while you make everything perfect, like Moms always do."

She hugged his thumb and nodded her little head in agreement. Mom shook hers. "Why we refer to the pair of you by two names, I'll never know. Well, come on, supervisor."

----------

Annie was really quite well behaved on the way back to the party, Gwen thought. She paced the dashboard quietly. And though she often hung upside down to check the clock in the dash, she never once looked up at the driver accusingly.

They were more than a little bit late. The guests were going to greet the cake, not the other way around.

"Blame Ray," Gwen said. Annie spun around. "Tell everyone you tried to make it perfect and Ray let you down.

"Say, he thought a flower was out of alignment and tried to push it into place and tore a corner off the cake."

Annie's mouth gaped. "I could...I couldn't do that!" she finally said. And though it was her plan, Mom was gratified at the sylph's loyalty to her son. Then Annie took a breath and finished: "We'll have no chance to rehearse!"

Ah, well.

"I mean, I'd have to ENTER the house pissed. And he'll get defensive, and not only won't the story hold together, it'll show it WAS a story and I was trying to blame Ray for my fault and-"

"HSST!" Mom said. "There was no fault, except all the inspectors were looking for mistakes like Happy Borthday, or Buffercup, or Butterfly." She slowed for the turn to Ray's road.

"Besides," she continued. "While you were having a moment to yourself in the bathroom? I called Ray and told him it was all his fault."

The look of gratitude on the sylph's face... By all rights it should have had a big, symphonic score accompanying it. And a spotlight on the face.

---------

"...and Mom said pithy things about knuckle dragging, unkempt Philistines touching food that's not and never has been finger food, and they went off to repair it."

"You don't have..." Carolyn started to ask.

"Anything useful in the house," Denise finished. Ray nodded, still slumped.

"Well, Ray," Buttercup said, "you meant well." She took a deep breath. "I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you."

"That's very generous of you, Buttercup," he said. "But I still have to get Annie to forgive me."

"Ah, well, that's out of my hands," the sylph said. She noticed her daughter looked upset. "Don't worry, Pet, we'll just have to have a wonderful party and thank Annie and everything will be okay."

"It will?" Buttercup nodded. "Okay. I hope so. Because if Annie's in a bad mood it can make everyone in the whole house have a bad mood and that makes breakfast kinda silent until-" She stopped suddenly, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Pet?" Chuck growled. "Pet are you saying.... Have you had breakfast....here?" She nodded slowly. Denise blushed. Ray concentrated on moving the ribs around on the grill.

"Well of course she did!" Buttercup said with a tiny stamp of her foot. "She was here while Denise was in the hospital! She knows all about going to bed Annie and getting up Angry."

"Oh, yeah," Chuck said, his tone lighter.

The front door opened. Pet clapped her hands and Buttercup shook her head.

Chuck stood to help Gwen put the cake on the table. Annie was on the woman's shoulder, going a mile a minute.

"And after telling him TEN TIMES not to TOUCH anything, he still manages to trip and fall and stagger across the room, accidentally opening the fridge and the box and maliciously- Oh, hi, Chuck!"

----------

By the time they were ready for the cake, each guest must have used the word 'perfect' half a dozen times. Annie was hoping they were sincere but terrified they were just trying to keep her from being angry.

After the fifth time she delayed responding to a compliment, Ray took her out to the end of the back yard. "No one thinks Annie needs coddling," he whispered. He'd easily diagnosed her hesitation.

She sniffed and he rubbed her shoulders. "Candid. Everyone there knows that candor is the way to get along with Miss Annie Foster. If they say it's perfect, it's perfect."

"Thank you," she said softly. He went back inside and put her on the table. Pet watched the man go by to get more drinks from the kitchen.

"What was that about?" she whispered.

"He apologized," Annie said.

"Again?"

"Annie has her master broken to heel," Buttercup said with a smile. "She can probably help you get Denny under control."

"I don't wanna control Denny!" Pet protested.

"There are advantages, Pet," Annie said.

The other sylph shook her head. "None that are worth it."

Ray's Dad arrived then, finished with an unbreakable business meeting. He apologized for the corporate delay.

"At least you changed outta your cleats," Chuck said.

"Oh, yeah, can't drive in-" Victor started to agree. "I mean, of course, that proper party attire was available so I could change out of my BUSINESS appropriate clothes before driving out here."

He scanned the table. "So, Buttercup! Birthdays, huh? Still counting them or did you freeze the number?"

The sylph shook her head at his attempt to change the subject. "As long as you see the cake before we eat it or Ray breaks it again," she told him, "you're not in trouble."

He took her hand and gallantly kissed the air over it.

"Speak for yourself," Gwen said. But cheerfully.

"And on that note," Ray said from the doorway. Carolyn turned off the lights and he brought the cake into the room.

Chuck and Victor both started to count the candles at the same time. Both stopped at the same number. Their inventory was interrupted by the thwack of hands on skuls.

"Thank you, Carla, Gwen," Buttercup said formally.

"Well, Mom was too far away," Chuck's daughter said.

"Hippo birdie, two ewes," Pet started. Everyone dropped questions about numbers and started singing the Boynton version of the Happy Birthday song.

Chuck was scandalized to learn that the Fosters didn't know it and bought each of them a copy of the birthday card.

Almost everyone.



Annie couldn't be too sweet, so at the line, 'hippo birdie deer ewe,' she substituted 'venison.'

Pet stumbled over the next line in surprise. She was horrified, but more at messing up the song than at Annie's in-character ad lib. But Buttercup squeezed her hand so she knew it was alright.

On the other side of the birthday girl, Annie worried about Pet's garbled 'Hoppie bordie.' Fun's fun, but she hadn't wanted Pet to feel guilty about messing up her mom's birthday.

But then Buttercup squeezed her hand so she knew it was alright.

----------

Presents came last in Buttercup's adopted family. Annie couldn't understand delayed gratification but she did bow to the traditions of the guest of honor.

So after every plate and spoon was cleared away, and after sticky people had wiped themselves clean, the presents were finally pushed to the middle of the table.

Ray almost physically restrained Annie to keep her from 'helping' unwrap gifts that weren't hers. But she behaved herself.

Buttercup worked her way through gifts until she got to the one marked 'from ANNIE and Whatshisface.'

"I refuse to write a thank you note to a euphemism," she said.

"That's okay," Ray said. "It's all Annie's idea. I just did the heavy lifting. Thank her."

"Well, thank you, Ray, that's a generous admission." She started tugging on the paper. "Oh, you used too much tape. I'll have to wait and unwrap this at home."

Gwen pinched Annie's waist between two fingers to prevent her from scurrying over. The little legs pumped in the air as the party guests laughed.

Buttercup finally gestured to invite Pet and Annie to help unwrap the gift. Pet giggled, Annie snarled and confetti flew.

When she got a good look at the gift, she stood still for a second.

"Buttercup?" Annie called.

"Mom?"

Pet and Annie stepped closer. The older sylph shook her head and stepped forward. "It's, um, it's very nice, Annie. And Ray. Very nice."

Annie blinked at the lack of response. She looked at Ray who gave a slight shrug. Had they offended somehow?

----------

After the party was finished, the families stayed for a long visit. The wedding was the main topic. Pet and Annie found out that they'd be Maid of Honor and Best Man.

Stories of other wedding disasters and blessings came up and were passed around. At one point a subdued Annie made her way to her carrier.

The door was shut. That was a surprise, but not a terribly shocking one. Sylph toilets were considered public access in almost all situations.

The etiquette was based on there usually being no more than one sylph-sized toilet in a building, and the choice of using it or having to wee in a sink.

So unless you were sure the other sylph was going to murder your habitat, you shared.

And even aside from that, the sylphs at the party were free with each other's carriers. So she just tapped at the door to tell whoever was in there that someone waited.

"A minute," Buttercup called. Then she sobbed softly.

Well, etiquette or not, Annie wasn't going to leave someone crying in the darkness. She opened the door to find Pet's mom in the corner, crying. And biting a towel to muffle the sound.

The carrier was under a computer desk in the corner of the living room. No one could possibly hear the sylph but another sylph.

Annie nodded, shut the door behind her and sat down. "What is it? Is it the bed? It's horrible, isn't it? You're trying to live in a human's world and I give you a dollhouse-"

"Shut up," Buttercup said. She dropped the towel and grabbed Annie into a hug. Then sobbed into her hair.

"Sorry?" Annie offered.

When she had cried a bit, Buttercup leaned back. Annie offered her another towel. She cleaned her face and wiped her nose.

"Care to talk about it?" Annie asked.

"I just..." She took a deep breath. "Annie, I got pregnant on a futon. It was all we could afford. We were saving up for a bed. A real bed, a sturdy one that the whole family could cuddle up on after a scary movie or during a thunderstorm."

"Sounds wonderful," Annie said.

"It was going to be. But after I got too big to use the futon, we still couldn't afford that. Not with all the stuff we had to get for the baby."

She noted that Buttercup wasn't using her dead husband's name or Pet. Pet was the baby that was outside, sitting on Carolyn's knee. The baby that would have had a different name than 'Pet' if things had worked out better.

But she didn't mention that. Buttercup was in a world she'd left behind. A life she'd never see again. Annie just offered a shoulder.

"He actually slapped a bunk together A big platform to lay the futon across, and variable height to maximize my comfort."

"Sounds like something Ray would do."

Buttercup nodded. "And then...he found out we were going to have a girl. He started calling her our princess. And decided that made me a queen.

"And he started looking for a canopy bed."

"Oh, man," Annie groaned. "I didn't mean-"

"Shush," Buttercup breathed softly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was just.... taken back. You know? All the way back. To the world."

"I know how that goes," Annie said. "Any time I see a urinal, I remember back when I used the ladies room at will."

Buttercup laughed. It was a bit forced but Annie took it in the spirit meant.

"So...you want us to take it back?" Annie asked.

"Oh, God, no!" Buttercup said. "It's a wonderful bed. And I'll think of...my husband every time I see it."

Annie wasn't sure if that was healthy but she was sure it wasn't her business. "Well, I'll have to tell Gwen and Victor. They helped...put it together."

"And I ruined it, didn't I?"

"No, no, just a little less of a reaction than they'd hoped. Than I'd expected. But we just... We wanted you to like it, Buttercup. We want you to feel..."

"That my family is getting bigger? Not smaller?"

"Exactly!" Annie said. She hugged the other woman happily. Then she pulled herself back. "It worked, right? Tell me that it worked?"

"It worked," Buttercup assured her. They smiled at each other. "I'll go tell everyone how wonderful a present it was. And why I was...subdued."

"Oh, you don't have to," Annie said. "I'm more than capable of telling everyone what they need to know."

Buttercup nodded. "You certainly are. I hear you told Ray to propose?"

"Aw, no. I told him IF he was going to propose, to do it as soon as possible."

The other sylph nodded again. "Annie...would you like to come to my house and see my new bed in my bedroom?"

"Yeah, sure," she said with a shrug. "I guess some time Ray's going to be driving up-"

"No, no. I'm asking...do you want to come home with me tonight? Spend..." She looked down. "Spend a night cuddling. With me and Pet, like a family?"

Annie gasped. She was being invited into someone's life... And such a nostalgically significant part. This... This was what families were like! Her and Master's families WERE getting bigger!

"Well, sure," she said nonchalantly. "If you're going to hit on me, I can at least date you for one night. But I warn you, I'm high maintenance."

Buttercup smiled. "Do you need to go get Ray's permission?"

"What? Have you MET me? I'm the one that tells RAY what I'm doing, sister." Then her voice dropped to a whisper. "I'll be right back. Don't leave without me."

She took off running. She didn't notice the figure leaning against the wall outside the carrier.

"Come in, Pet," Buttercup said softly. Her daughter poked a head around the door and stepped through. Buttercup pat a cushion and Pet sank down on it.

"I didn't mean for you to cry, Buttercup."

"I know, Pet, I know."

"But Annie asked what would make you happy and you always smile when we go by a furniture store and you said that it was a bed Daddy was going to buy once you guys were sure I wasn't going to be born in it and ruin the sheets so I figure you're not pregnant and haven't been for-"

"Pet?"

"Yes, Buttercup?"

"Shut up, Pet. Shut up and hug me."

"Oh, sure, Buttercup. I like hugging you. You're a good hugger. I can hug you for days and days and days and not get-"

"Pet?"

"Oh. Yeah." There was a long, comfortable silence. Then Buttercup was tugging at Pet's sleeve.

"Okay, come on, now. You have to go ask Denise if you can sleep over tonight. And I have to go tell Gwen and Ray and Victor that it was a lovely gift and I'm an insensitive clod."

"Oh, no, Ray's the insensitive clod, his mom pointed that out when we went out for ice cream and he pulled the chair out for Denny but not for her and he said it was Dad's job to pull her chair out and he said it was a job for younger men with strong backs and she whaled on him with her purse and called him something Annie said I shouldn't know so I don't."

They stood and walked out of the carrier, hand in hand. In the distance they heard Carolyn assure Annie, "We'd be glad to have you!"



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