Annie LXXVII: Parole

(Chronological index: Raymond in High School)

Raymond was dressing for school when Annie woke up. His hair was wet. She slept through the alarm, his shower and his orangutan pawing through the closet and dresser drawers for clean clothing.

"EEP!" she squealed, rolling off of her gel mattress. Fingers clawed through her hair. She glanced at the brush but shook her head. She wanted to be presentable, but when the Raymond Express pulled out, she was going, ready or not.

She levered the door open and stepped out. Raymond had a food on the desk chair and was tying his shoelaces. She waited patiently for him to pick her up.

"Annie?"

"Raymond?"

"Did you stay up late last night reading?" he asked. She looked down. She stood on the open volume of Titus Groan, the shaded lamp hanging over her head. A fine dusting of potato chip crumbs dotted the desk, tiny footprints marking where she'd walked to turn the pages.

"Um....maybe?"

"Okay." He swept the desk with his finger and brushed the crumbs into the trash. "I just figured you stayed up late because you were going to take the Parole option."

Good Friday! Every other week she got to take Friday off! No school, no bus, no D&D games. She wasn't his spellchecker, his girl lure or ketchup target!

Parole! It was something she suggested when they first started writing The Agreement. He agreed suspiciously fast....

But she didn't care. "Get out!" she said. "My room! My room for the day! Get OUT!"

"Want breakfast?" he asked.

What she wanted was to go back to sleep. But sylph metabolisms were high maintenance. She raised her arms and asked for a lift.

He took the stairs in his usual controlled avalanche. Control meaning that he touched the wall at each landing and threw himself around.

She hung onto his thumb and tried not to barf.

Mom was toasting something when they got to the kitchen. She already had Raymond's pop-tarts open and on the plate. He kissed her good morning and Annie thanked her for staging the food.

She got a smile back. Gwen broke off a corner of her toasted tart and placed it on Annie's plate. The sylph started catching up on the eating she'd missed through the night.

Raymond had to wait until his own tarts cooked. She figured it was a sign of favor but did not crow. Raymond might withhold Parole.

They were reading the funnies when Dad came in. He helped his own mother to a place at the table and went to get food.

"Good morning, Grandma Foster," Annie called. Grandma scowled.

"I still see your lips move, young man," she drawled. Raymond lowered his drinking glass.

"At least I didn't spill the milk I was drinking," he said.

Nothing anyone could say or do would change Grandma Foster's mind about Annie. In her eyes, Raymond had shaved a gerbil and pretended he was a ventriloquist. How he'd taught Annie to walk erect or move her lips at the right time was a mystery she never touched on.

Dad's theory was that on The Day, she'd decided she was too old to shift her paradigm. Mom just said her mother in law was crazy pants, but at least she could dress and feed herself so some craziness could be tolerated.

"So, what are you two doing today?" Mom asked Dad. "Showing Mom the old homestead?"

"That dump?" Grandma snapped.

"No," Dad said. "That'll have to wait until tomorrow. Jason called, I need to go in." Annie froze. Mom scowled.

"But it's your vacation?" she protested.

"I'm the only one that's familiar with the Z-220," he shrugged.

"So what's your mother going to do?"

"Sit here and have others talk about me not to me, I guess," Grandma interjected.

"Sorry, Mother Foster," Gwen said. "But everyone will be at work or school so-"

"I can dress and feed myself, I’m told," Grandma said in a sickly sweet voice. Mom winced. "I guess I can manage eight hours completely alone in a house."

"Not completely," Annie said softly.

"Well, it's time to be going," Mom said. She rose and started grabbing purse and coat.

Raymond put his dishes in the sink then asked Annie, "You want a lift back to the bedroom?"

She kinda did. But there was no food left up there. She'd only have to turn and descend to get to something in time for lunch.

"No, no, I'll be okay." She suffered his lifting her up to his lips for a goodbye kiss on the top of her head. She pat his chin and he set her down on the floor.

"What, she runs around free during the day?" Grandma asked.

"Um..."

Before Raymond could parse a response, Dad was standing to get ready to go. "The doorknobs are way, way over her head, and she's been housebroken for months, so it'll be okay." He bent to kiss his mother goodbye.

Annie ran for the living room. "Months," she muttered. "Maybe even a year...."

------

She was able to jump and climb to get on top of the coffee table. The remote was in the usual place so she turned on the TV.

She set the volume low to avoid bothering Grandma. Then she leaned on the UP CHAN button to see what was on.

Hollywood Squares caught her attention. She was doing pretty good on the trivia, at least better than the idiot sitting at the O side. Then Grandma came into the room.

"Oh, good heavens, get off the furniture!" She waved her hands over Annie. "Shoo! Shoo!"

"Grandma! It's okay! I have permission!" She still backed away. Any time now she figured she was going to be in a Tom and Jerry skit, playing the part of the 'poor creature bashed with a broom.'

"Get down! No one wants to eat where you've been nesting or grooming!" The woman picked up a magazine and rolled it up. Annie turned and ran.

The distance to the floor was negligible for a sylph. It had loomed for a long time, though. She'd only recently worked up the nerve to try jumping it.

Now she soared over the throw rug like a track-running gazelle. She rolled once on the uneven shag, then popped to her feet on the room carpeting.

Then she zigged under the sofa, out the other side under the knick knack shelving, and over under the glass display cabinet before Grandma could see where she went.

The woman wasn't chasing her, though. She tossed the magazine down, then went to get a rag and some cleaning spray. She mumbled about pets and dander as Annie watched her clean the table from the sylph's contamination.

This was going to make Lunch very difficult, she realized. She hadn't yet had the nerve to jump from the kitchen counters, much less the cookie shelf.

The sylph skulked around the first floor as Grandma went about on opaque errands. She organized half of one shelf of the cookbooks.

Took a few decorations down to dust them, then left them on window sills.

Annie almost got hit by a leg when Grandma rearranged some furniture.

Then she grabbed a box of baking soda and went outside. Annie considered trying to watch from a window but shook her head.

All this running and hiding had worked up an appetite. She went to the kitchen and started her climb. The space between the fridge and the china cupboard was just about exactly the length of industrious sylph legs.

Her chimney climb was, if she was honest, a thing of beauty and a joy to behold. She only hoped no one beheld her today.

A nail was perfectly placed to grab onto for the swing from chimney to walking on top of the fridge.

That nail had cost her twenty minutes of facial massage on Master's forehead and cheeks, but it was well worth it.

Then she knelt behind a pile of paper plates for a few minutes, trying to determine where Grandma was.

She couldn't hold still for long, though. The climb had burned off the last of breakfast and her stomach was becoming a compelling critic of her life choices.

Annie swallowed hard and made the jump to the cookie shelf.

There was no way to avoid the rustling plastic, so she tried to make it quick. Lean on the clip, shove the plastic free, dive in, drag a cookie out, freeze and wait for developments.

Grandma didn't yank her or the cookie away. She finally hugged it to her chest and dropped to the fridge. Then she broke off bits to eat as quietly as possible while behind the plates.

She'd have to get Ray to put the clip back when he got home. She wasn't going to expose herself again.

When she was sated, she took the rest of the Oreo to the edge and dropped down the same way she'd come up.

Descending was harder than ascending. She had to balance the cookie and that kept her from using both hands when she moved her back.

But every time she started to regret the effort, she imagined asking Ol' Mrs. Foster for food.

She'd probably get bird seed. Or wood shavings. Or chased with a broom.

Reaching the floor was an occasion to celebrate so she had more cookie. Then she crouched by the opening of the crevice.

There was still no sign of Grandma. She balanced the cookie on her shoulders and scooted for the hall. She just made it to the back of the Lazy Boy when she saw a foot.

Quick as a wink she was under the chair's skirt. Then she paused, panting slightly. There was no sound from the old lady.

She lowered her food and crept to the front of the chair. Grandma was sprawled across the floor, eyes closed, hands clenched...breathing labored.

Annie ran out, circled the hand and approached the face. "Grandma? Grandma Foster? Are you okay?"

Just panting. One eye opened, and maybe saw her. Or maybe not. She bolted for the table next to the love seat. Her arms complained as she swarmed up the phone cord but she didn’t hesitate. She did mutter. "S'posed to be my day off."

She slid under the handset on all fours, then pushed up. The handset rolled off her back to the floor.

She dialed the phone with a two-handed grip, foot braced against the hook. When she finished the memorized number she jumped to the cord and swung down to the floor.

The handset was talking. "...to the count of ten. One, two.."

"Dad! Grandma Foster's fallen down on the floor! She's disoriented or unconscious, I'm not sure which."

"Okay, Annie, okay. I'll call paramedics. Let them inside and I'll be right there."

"Let them? Dad, I can't open the door."

"Oh, crap!" he snapped. "Sorry, I just... Okay. They'll break in. Just...stay with her, okay?"

"Dad, she's out of it."

"Please, Annie? Stay... Stay with my mom until I get there. Please?"

"Um...yes, sir." She looked up at the table over her head. "I'm...not going to be able to hang up, sir. I mean, I can break the connection, but you won't be able to call back."

"That's alright, I'll be on the way." He hung up. She climbed up to lean on the cradle, then back down to the floor.

The phone beeped in the background as she approached the woman's head. "Grandma Foster? Dad... Victor's on the way. He'll be here in a little while. Okay? Hang in there so-"

"Victor?" the woman asked. "My son Victor?"

"Yes, ma'am. Victor's on the way. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dear." She relaxed a little bit. Annie thought she looked a little better, a little more in touch. "My husband Walt's upstairs, you know."

And there I go, wrong again, Annie thought.

"I always feel better around Walt. Like he's watching me." She took a deep breath. Her hands stopped moving around aimlessly.

"Grandma Foster?"

"I'm not dead, dear. Stop shouting."

"Stay with me, Grandma."

"Of course. How in the world did Raymond teach you to dial a phone? Or is it a special gerbil phone?"

"Arrrrrrrgh."

She ran under the sofa when the firemen knocked. Boots the size of elephants were not sylph-friendly. They knocked hard a couple of times, then the door crashed open.

"Anyone home?" one shouted.

Annie jumped into the clear long enough to scream, "In HERE!" then she went back into hiding.

Dad showed up as they were lifting the gurney. He asked a few questions and followed them out. Annie didn't take it too personally that he didn't even look around for her.

She followed along far enough to be sure they closed the door. It wasn't firm against intruders that might steal the TV, but it was shut enough to keep out opportunistic cats.

Then she decided she needed a bit of cookie as stress relief. And she knew where a dose was.

The sylph ran back to the living room.

------------

Raymond found his pet more than a little shook up when he got home. There as an indecipherable note from his father on the back of a strip of electrocardiogram paper.

Annie was talking a mile a minute about heart strokes and gerbil phones and boots the size of Italy.

He soothed her for a while, following her gestures to find the phone. He took her into the kitchen then and poured some milk. She drank from that while he tried to restore the front door, then decided to just nail it shut.

She was calmed enough to tell him the full story when he was done.

Mom found them on the sofa when she came home. She sat and put an arm around her son, a hand over the one cupping the sylph.

Grandma was okay, she'd just missed some of her medicine. She was going to be put in a home after the docs were through making sure she was stabilized. Dad was going to be staying at the hospital until then.

"He says she had nice things to say about you, Annie," Mom said. "Apparently she was quite impressed with your calmness in a crisis."

"Thanks," Annie shrugged.

"Did she...?" Raymond started to ask, then paused.

"Still thought I was a rodent," Annie said. "As they knelt down to check her out, she was telling them not to step on the naked gerbil. I thought it was nice of her."

"Well, on the new drug schedule," Mom said, "she knows you're not a rodent, but a brave little girl." She snorted.

"Vic says she asked how Raymond likes not being an only child any more."

"So she's back to normal," he said. They all sighed.





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