Annie CI: ...And Make Up

(Chronological index: College, Junior Year.)

The professor, Dr. Maddison, welcomed the class into the lecture hall, chivying them into their seats. "Hurry, hurry, they're almost ready."

She spoke about their current topic of study, interdependent couples. "As we've seen, and as I predicted," she said, "a 'couple' can be best identified by their dependence on one another, their sensitivity to the other's needs.

"Now, for today's experiment, we've gotten a rather non-mainstream couple."

She turned on the projector and slipped a picture under the lens.

"Hey, that's Annie!" some guy in the back row announced.

Several students murmured agreement at the identification. Some who had heard of the extroverted sylph on campus leaned forward with interest.

"And that guy, the one she hangs out with!" someone else added.

"That's her oppressor," a woman in the middle shouted. They all had a laugh at that.

"Now, now!" Professor Maddy snapped. "Let's not bring politics into the classroom!"

They quieted down without trying to explain the joke.

"To continue," she went on, "they think they have volunteered for something out of..." She waved her hands vaguely. "Some technology department. They're calibrating an automated marriage counseling machine.

"What has been explained to them, they have two buttons hidden from the other person's view. Pushing one applies a mild shock. Every time they push it, the shock voltage increases slightly.

"IF they push the other button, the shock voltage from the other button decreases. So there's punishment and there's reward.

"What really happens, though, is that either button applies a shock to the other. They'll get confusing feedback and it will increase their anger.

"UNTIL!" she stressed happily, "they begin to perceive that they are hurting each other. They'll stop pushing buttons when-"

"They'll kill each other!" a scandalized girl shouted.

"It will get uncomfortable, but when they realize that nothing they do rewards-"

"No," another student said urgently. "They'll kill each other. I mean, hair on fire from the voltages!"

"Well," Maddy sniffed. "I guess we'll just see about that won't we?"

There was a small bell sound. "Okay, they're entering the room, they've been briefed. Now, we'll hear a buzzing sound when the sylph is applying a voltage to the human.

"A bell sound will indicate the human is-"

"Committing suicide," two students from Ray's dorm said in accidental but sincere chorus.

Ray placed Annie on the elevated tray. "Looks like you'll be at about my eye level when I sit," he said.

"Yeah," she agreed after a moment. She examined the chair before sitting down. Her back was to the mirror on the wall. "Lots of people," she said softly.

He breathed out before starting to speak. "Figures. Fun?" he whispered, soft as a sylph poet.

"Make it worth my while," she said. Then she spoke in a louder tone. "These electrodes look pretty big for a little sylph test subject."

"Well, I'm sure your ass can handle it," he replied. She stepped back to look at his face.

"Are you saying I have a big ass?"

"Not at all," he said. "It's just a fine, very competent ass."

"Now now now!" the grad student in charge of the testing room, Michelle, interrupted. "Let's get you hooked up in time to resolve this anger."

"What anger?" Ray asked her. "Annie's afraid the electrodes are too big for her butt." He looked back down. "But after all that chocolate, you should be well insulated." Annie considered the offer, then shook her head.

"The Cadbury may insulate," she said, "but American chocolate would never disgrace my derriere."

"I can see that," Ray accepted her negotiation. They nodded.

"Sit down," Michelle begged. Ray moved to the other side of the room.

"Oh! My what big electrodes I have!" he said in a sing-song voice.

"The better to get a voltage through your brain!" Annie snapped.

"But they're not next to my brain?" he asked in an innocent tone. "OH! Oh, you're saying my brain is... I get it." He sat down and leaned over the covered control panel. "Which one of these buttons sends a shock?"

"Har har," Annie said. "We're supposed to be improving our relationship."

"Right, right. It's the red button, right?"

"Please!" Michelle protested, apparently upset. "Let's remember the spirit of the test! Only hurt the other after he or she hurts you. Physical in response to emotional."

"Shouldn't you have said," Ray protested, "after she hurts you? It's not like I'll hurt her."

"It's not like he CAN hurt me," Annie said.

Ding.

"OW!" Annie cried out.

"Looks like you were wrong there," Ray said.

Bzzt.

"OW!" he snapped, starting up out of the chair. Or trying to, the straps kept him in place.

"PLEASE!" Michelle cried. "Now, I'm going to ask each of you a question. You both answer, then decide if the other person's answer was-"

Ding.

"OW! What the fuck was that for?"

"I anticipate that you're going to claim everything I say is-"

Bzzt.

"OW!"

Ding.

"OW!"

Bzzt.

"OW!"

In the lecture hall, a student cleared her throat to get Maddy's attention. "Um, what sound does it make if they're trying to reward each other?"

"Doesn't matter a damn," another student muttered.

"Now, as a couple, do you-"

"Couple? We're not a couple. I caught her in the wild."

"And he sees me as a pet!"

"Of course i do! You ARE my pet!"

BZZZT!

"OW! You punish me for the truth?"

Ding!

"DAMMIT! So I'm not supposed to have an OPINION you bastard?"

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

"You little bitch!"

Ding!Ding!Ding!

"AIEEEEEEEEEE! Bitch? After ten years, you call me a BITCH?"

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

"Hit the butt"

ZZZZT!

"on as mu"

ZZZZT!

"ch as you"

ZZZZT!

" want,"

ZZZZT!

" you're st"

ZZZZT!

"ill"

ZZZZT!

" a"

ZZZZT!

" b"

ZZZZT!

"i-i-i-i"

ZZZZT!

"t-t-t"

ZZZZT!

"ch."

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

Students in the lecture hall started to get either agitated or relaxed.

A girl that had gotten computer help from Ray one time shouted at the young man slouching next to her. "How can you just SIT there? They're killing each other!"

"Ray wouldn't call Annie a bitch if she was setting his dick on fire," he said confidently. "They know we're here and they're acting for the audience."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

No one was explaining this to the professor.

"No! No! They're supposed to react to each other's PAIN!"

"You've never actually met Ray and Annie, have you, Professor?"

"I have to get in there."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Howard looked up from his London Times to see a familiar face enter the candy shop.

He glanced quizzically at the clock, though. Ray almost never came in before five.

He looked downright concerned when Ray passed the till and went into the little alcove of imports.

"Did I miss someone's birthday?" Howard asked. "You buying her Cadbury on a weekday?"

"She was a very good sport," Ray said. He picked his sylph up from his pocket and placed her down on the counter. Howard moved closer to watch the negotiations. There were always negotiations.

She bounced on her toes in excitement. "Anything?" she asked.

"Anything you want," he promised. Howard's eyebrows rose. Ray had some very particular tastes, and as he usually ate 90% of any candy they purchased, he wouldn't let her buy anything he didn't enjoy.

"Flake bar!" she shouted instantly. She started to scurry in the direction of those bars. Then she stopped, grabbed her butt tenderly and walked more slowly.

"Flake?" Ray protested. "Those damned things are mostly air!"

"You PROMISED!" she said. There was a small catch in her voice. Howard stared without a lick of shame.

"I.. I suppose I did," he said. He picked up one Flake bar with a shake of his head. "What else?"

"What ELSE?" Annie and Howard asked together.

"A really good sport," Ray said, not looking at either of them.

"Then....the bar with raisins," Annie said, eyes on her master.

"You hate chocolate with raisins?" Ray asked.

"But you don't," she said. She opened her arms. He scooped her up into a hug.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry. I forgot-"

"It's just a little tender."

"I know, I was going to..."

"It's okay."

"You sure?"

"Well, I won't sit down for a week, but..."

"Okay."

They all moved to the register to pay. Howard shook his head. Annie noticed a box on top of the counter. "What's that, Howard?"

"Oh. Nothing you'd be interested in," he said. "Gummi bears. Little tart gels of... Like jelly or something."

"Really?" she asked. She carefully pouted her lip before turning around in Ray's hand.

"Oh, stop it," he said. He scratched his chin. "Well.... You did go a long way to reinforcing our reputation today. Throw a bag in."

"Yay," she said softly, stroking the edge of his hand. "Thank you, my one and only honored Master."

"You're welcome, loyal and subservient pet."

They made it to the sidewalk before they burst out laughing.



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