Annie CV: King Of The Mountain

(Chronological index: New World Order 9 and a half)

The reunion was a blast and Annie and the Traces laughed about it for two whole days and I was there, too, because Ruth had a sleepover and we actually slept for the first night. Because we were wiped.

Then the next night we called Ray and Denise and Ray was going to be spending the day fixing things around the house so Denise agreed to come over but Ray had to drive her because when he said 'fixing' things Ruth suddenly didn't want to see him no way no how.

So we had another night of sleepover and this one went a lot better because we were all awake until about three in the morning and we had popcorn and movies and May told us how they used to rate boyfriends when she was younger and Denise & I rated Ray pretty HIGH and Annie and Ruth just kept covering their ears and going ew ew ew ew ew ew.

THEN Ray came and got us and presented Ruth with a bill for something he'd had to replace in the garage and there were a lot of numbers on the paper and Annie climbed up in his face and you know how she gets and started to tell him off and called him bad names and Ruth was scared and Gerald put on this great big long-suffering sigh, just like Chuck used to do, and he picked up the bill and looked at it and Annie was getting hysterical and May was asking Ruth if alcohol was involved and she denied it and Denise winked at me and I knew it had to be a joke somewhere but I couldn't see where the punchline would come from.

Then Gerald shot this LOOK at Ray and Ray smiled back at him and THEN they looked like the looks Buttercup and Chuck used to trade when Denny dated and brought one of the sacrifices back to where they could grill the poor guy. And I knew there was a joke on the bill.

"Ray," Gerald says, "this bill says you're going to take payment as a percentage increase of her rent."

And Ray pinches Annie's shoulders between two fingers to hold her at arm's length like this and her feets are kicking, they looked like this except they don't have fingernail polish so ignore that and he said, he says, "Yes, Gerald, that's what I'd figured we could do. A 225 percent increase in her rent should take care of it inside of the fiscal year."

And then everyone got quiet as they all realized that Ruth doesn't pay ANY rent so 225 times as much of nothing is a little bit more nothing and he was joking and the men started laughing first and then Denny and I laughed and then May and Ruth.

Annie didn't laugh for a while because she had a full load of profanity in her brain that was marked for delivery and she did and it went on for a while and Ray took her and put her by his ear so she could whisper the words she didn't want to use where her mother could hear and May went out to pour iced tea anyway.

So we went home after that and Ruth stayed with her parents for another night so we could be privacy in our home and after a night of sleepover all we really wanted was sleep so we had reunion leftovers and went to bed on full tummies and Ray let us sleep on the pillow beside his head and we all went night night.

I woke up when I was hungry again and that was about six in the morning. I sat up and Annie gave me a piece of a sylphration she was chewing on and I woke Denise and we sat eating the food and looking at Ray's profile in the dark.

He was on his side and facing us. The sheets were draped over his body and we watched his breathing for a while.

Annie got up and walked over to his face. She stroked his forehead for a bit. Then she went around behind his head. I looked over at Denny and she looked at me and we shrugged and waited and then there was a cough and we looked up.

Annie was on Ray's hip and she had an odd stance and she looked down at us and said softly, "Don't take this wrong, fellow sister wives, but I claim Mount Ray. I am...Queen. Of The Hill!"

I laughed because it was silly to claim a mountain that was going to get up and go make breakfast in an hour and the mountain would be a plain old plain but Denny stood up and smiled big and said like hell. She stalked over to where Ray's arm was and climbed up on his hand. He moved a little bit but she made it over his forearm and up to his shoulder and stood a few inches higher than Annie and said: I am Queen Of Mount Ray.

And Annie started to run towards her and Ray snorted and Annie slowed way way down and just snuck up on the shoulder and Denny saw her coming and they started to wrestle a bit on Ray's shoulder and it was really funny because they couldn't move too suddenly or Ray would wake up and as they 'strove mightily together' he twisted and moaned a bit so they lost footing and had to scramble a bit.

But not too much, Ray is a light but immobile sleeper I think from years of being close to Annie he hardly moves at all in his sleep or maybe we were just lucky to get a guy that has a lot of marble statues in his ancestry.

Anyway, as I was watching, Denise had Annie in a headlock and she drove a fingernail into Ray and he twitched and both of them rolled down off his back with a little eep of surprise.

So I ran down to his hand and crawled gently up his arm and got to the shoulder and looked down and made sure they were okay and they were and I said I was Queen of the Peak! And they looked at each other and said dogpile on the Pet.

And I giggled and they came up his hip and when both of them stepped on his ribs he lifted his arm like he was going to slap his ribs and they each squeaked and dove face-first down into the covers and I just rode out the shoulder twisting like one of those Canadian guys on a rolling log and laughed and said I was still the Queen of Peeking and Annie threatened to throw something at me.

And they split up, then, and Denise came up the arm at me and Annie tried the ribs again and if he twitched she knelt down and kissed his skin and he moaned and left her alone and I said 'hey' because I wanted to kiss skin and Denise said I could go ahead and I said if I did she was going to jump on me and she said probably because she never lies to me.

And Annie looked up at me right then and smiled and crawled another kiss forward and I started to worry because the two of them know every place I'm ticklish.

And finally Annie could get up next to me and started to grab for me and Denise tickled and I squealed and kicked and Ray rolled down onto his face and we all went into the pillow and the mountain was gone.

"Queen of the shoulder blade!" Annie shouted and ran up onto his back and Denny said 'Let's get her, Pet,' and I thought about it and I said I didn't want to be queen of the back or the shoulder or the hill.

And Annie asked if they'd hurt me and Denny said it was all in fun and I said I knew all that and no and I pointed. Ray's arm was folded under his pillow and he had a little triangle under his chin that looked SOOOOOOOOOOO warm and cozy and I said I just wanted to be President For Life Of The Crook Of His Arm and Annie said, "Hey!" and Denny said "Why are we fighting?" and we all slid into the spot and it was warm and it was cozy and we snuggled in like puppies and Ray woke up enough to look down at us and we were so close it was funny because he was crosseyed but he watched as we all turned to kiss his skin and he said 'goodnight' and we all went to sleep again.

Back to the Index