Annie CXV: Game Show

(Chronological index: After Annie XCII: Cooking (Buttercup the new Sylph In Town) )



Victor and Gwen brought a chocolate fudge chocolate cream pie to dinner, with an Oreo cookie crust. Annie took one look and ran to get her snorkel and swim fins.

Buttercup snagged the younger sylph by her collar and hissed, "Behave!" Annie instantly calmed and waited, apparently patiently, for the evening meal to progress to the point of dessert.

Pet kept looking from her mother to her roommate, awe in her expression.

Ray just nodded thanks at Buttercup and served dinner quickly and efficiently. Denise suggested that Pet tell the Fosters about the recipe.

"Oh! It's Buttercups'!" she said proudly. "She taught Ray how to make it and taught us how to skewer it and Denny how to grind the crackers and inspected the cranberries-"

"These are real cranberries," Gwen said around her bite. "Not just cranberry jelly."

"Yes," Pet said enthusiastically. "Last time we made it, Buttercup said we couldn't us the sauce because it took skill to make it with real, whole cranberries and Ray took it as a challenge to make the cranberry sauce FROM SCRATCH!"

"Really!?" Gwen said, apparently amazed.

Pet nodded her head quickly to convince the woman. "Uh huh! Uh huh! Ray's the best cook in the whole-"

"Kitchen," Annie said. She nodded her head towards Gwen. Pet clapped her hands over her mouth. Buttercup took her daughter in her arms.

"Don't worry, Pet, you haven't offended me, Denny or Gwen. Moms like to know that their sons know how to cook."

"I do," Gwen agreed.

"Sissified him, have you?" Victor asked Buttercup.

"Blow it out your ass, old man," Annie said. "When's the last time you made something in the oven?"

Victor raised one eyebrow. And farted. He was defending himself as having been ordered to while Gwen hit his shoulder and Denny scooted a bit further away.

And while the sylphs ran off the end of the table.

The humans were sipping wine and talking when Annie slapped Ray's ankle. He looked down. She was holding something made of stir-sticks and gesturing. He lifted it to the table. She came back with two more and rode up with the last load.

They watched as she set up a paper and stir-stick banner in the table center that proclaimed to be "Quizzical Time!"

And there were three podiums, marked Contestant 1, Contestant 2 and Moderator.

Pet had shown up at Denny's ankle with four name tags. She walked around the table, giving 'JUDGE' tags to each human.

And finally, Buttercup asked Victor for a hand up. He gently placed her on the table. She was wearing a tuxedo, or a sock-tunic that had been colored somehow and little paper details pasted on. She carried an armful of 3x5 cards.

Those were placed by the Moderator's forum, and the other sylphs stood in the contestant's places.

"Okay, we'll go right in!" Buttercup said cheerfully. "We all know how to play the game. I'll read an answer, and you guys take turns providing the question."

"What is Quizzical Time!" Pet shouted.

"No, dear-"

"What is Jeopardy?" Annie asked.

"No, dear, it's-"

"What is the great Carnac?" Ray asked. Everything stopped and all three sylphs stared him down. "Oh. No audience participation, I see." He gestured a zipped lip.

"No, dears," Buttercup said, still glaring at Ray. "No, we haven't started yet." She took a deep breath. "Scoring is one point for each correct response. In case of a tie, we go to the lightning round. In case of a tie after that, we go to the judges' decision. Are we ready?"

"Yes," the other two said.

"Alright. Bi-focal."

"What," Annie said, "is a focal that goes both ways?"

"Correct. Ransack."

"What," Pet asked, "happens wen Annie can smell but not see the chocolate?"

"Exactly." Buttercup turned ever so slightly towards Annie. "Until he gets caught."

"How long can Ray live with four beautiful women?"

"Aw!" Gwen protested. Annie picked up a hand sign that was laying face down on her podium. "Kidding," it said. She flashed it at Gwen. Mom was mollified.

"Exactly," Buttercup said, throwing the next one to Pet. "Baja."

"What sound do sheep make when they laugh?"

"Correct. Deep freeze."

"Name an Eskimo Porno?" Victor started to laugh, turning it into a cough when Gwen slapped his elbow.

"Good answer," Buttercup told Annie. "Touchback."

"What happens when a football game is on and Ray's watching it and one of us climbs up onto the sofa and gets behind his neck and touches him?"

"Awwww," Gwen and Denise said together.

"Prolix, but accurate. Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and sylph rights."

"What are two terms that don't mean anything," Annie snarled.

""Correct. Fists of fury and five fingers of death."

"What will you get if you try to take Buttercup's Toblerone?"

"Damn straight. The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly, and the throat sac of a lizard."

"Name three things young Raymond fed to his defenseless sylph," Annie crowed.

"Hey!" Ray protested.

"Silence!" Denise snapped.

"We'll allow it," Buttercup said, ignoring the outbursts. "Superbowl."

"What would you find in Superman's bathroom?"

"Corrret." Buttercup tipped the 3x5 over, looking like she was sorting through posters. "So, judges, what's the score?"

"Huh?" Victor coughed.

"Um..." Gwen tapped her chin.

"About..." Denise said, looking into the distance.

"The score is tied, five each," Ray said. Annie gave him a nod.

"Then the lightning round. Four questions, winner take all." She knelt down to move the cars more quickly.

"Timbuktoo!"

"What comes after Timbuck-one?"

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G?"

"What were the early forms of Preparation H?"

"A full moon!"

"What did we see when Denny slipped in the shower?"

"Hey!"

"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!"

"What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand grenade?"

"Score?" Buttercup shouted.

"Seven each," Ray said.

"Then we have the tiebreaker!" Buttercup stood. "One question. Whoever gets it right is the winner. Ready?" They nodded. Humans leaned forward, eyes on the contestants.

"Who's the best owner?" Buttercup snapped.

"RAY!" Annie shouted.

"DENNY!" Pet screamed.

"Judges!" Buttercup snapped, pointing suddenly at Gwen.

"They both win!" she yelped.

"Yay!" Denise and Ray shouted, reaching down to pick up all three sylphs for finger hugs, cheek snuggles and kisses.

"Well," Victor asked after a moment. "What do they win?"

"Snorkels?" Ray asked Denise. She nodded. The pie was divided and one huge slice was put in a bowl. The sylphs undressed and waded in.

The humans ate their pie and watched, indulgent smiles on their faces.

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