Annie CXXVIII: Sweet

Okay, I wasn't paying a LOT of attention but it definitely wasn't my fault. Lurch was the one who teased Pet and you don't have to be Holmes to know where that puts the blame.

It was art day and I was exploring my creativity.

Master was supporting me as I delved into soft sculpture. He was reading the Sunday paper, eating Gouda cheese and working the wax with his furnace-hot fingers.

I took the softened stuff from him as needed and worked it into my sculpture quickly before it hardened.

My bust of Ray's face was coming along nicely. I was working the nose when the phone rang. He muted the TV, lowered the wax where I could reach it and walked out to the kitchen for the phone.

I worked his lips with a toothpick tip. I was trying to catch the expression he'd had when he accidentally proposed to Denise over the phone.

We hadn't seen Denise, and I hadn't seen Pet, for a few days. Denise's father's brother was in town, with the father's brother's son, that guy's wife and their two kids.

They were calling it a family reunion. Growing up as a member of Master's Foster Clan, a reunion was fifty people and a sack race, minimum. Five guests? We called that dinner.

"How soon can you be ready for breakfast?" he called as he came back into the room.

I was naked, trying to get more of a visceral connection to my medium. My glorious Master also complained if I did art in clothing he was going to have to clean.

"Well, if the chauffer can get me to my wardrobe in a decent amount of time," I said, "we can be away in moments. Was that Mom?"

"Denise," he replied. He held a hand patiently as I put down my tools, bending to look his own face deep in the eye. "Nice elephant," he said. I forbore gracing that remark with a reaction and merely stepped into his hand.

He explained as he carried me back to the bedroom and my drawer. "One of the guests heard about Rio Bravo's breakfast buffet.

"So we meet them at the mall and we all drive to Baymeadows."

"Pet and Buttercup?" I asked. "I love buffet, but I'll want someone to talk to."

"The whole family," he assured me. He lowered me to the open drawer I call a closet. I searched for something casual, but not too laid back.

This wasn't formal, but I wanted Buttercup and Pet not to feel embarrassed about seeing me. Which reminded me. I turned to shout over my shoulder. "I suppose you're wearing THAT?"

"I was going to change!" he lied. Right after that, I heard the rustle of his clothes. I rolled my eyes and picked a blouse.

He was barely passable at inspection. Denise wouldn't feel like she was slumming when she introduced him.

We made good time getting to the mall but they were already parked and waiting for us.

The guy who looked like Chuck, but angry, had to be his older, frowning brother.

Two kids were playing with little pocket games beeping in two different sets of tones, and the younger adults were chatting.

"Why are we meeting them here?" I asked as he parked. "We could just meet at Bravo?"

"I dunno," he said. He reached for me as Carla waved and leaned down to his window. "Hey, Carla."

"Hey,Ray,longtimenoseecanIdrive?"

"What?" He looked down at me. Sometimes I feel like a Magic 8 Ball. He hopes I have a magical sylph ability to understand what's going on around him. Hell, it's his life, I'm just the accessory. Figure it out your own damn self.

I shrugged and said, "Answer unclear, ask again later."

He got out and Carla stepped close as Denise walked up for a hug. "It's the Yuma gang," she said in a low voice. "They always insist that men do the driving, even in cities they've never been to before."

"Does Carolyn know?" he asked as he embraced Denise. The hand that held me stayed between him and Carla, so I'd technically be part of the conversation we were in.

"She's been putting up with it for 30 years, she says, and it's too late to fuss now."

"Where's Pet?" I asked. "I can't drive, so I don't care, not really, sorry. But where's Pet?"

"Inside the van," Denise said. She seemed...ashamed? Of PET?

Master put an arm around his girl and walked over to the car. I heard her arm wrap around his waist.

One of the strangers, the new Mom, her eyes went wide when she saw me. "Oh, you have one, too! And she's clothed!"

Just so you'll know, for humans, clothed is a condition. For sylphs it's a status. Most Federal and state offices and all airlines require sylphs to be naked. Some fear about terrorist activities or activism or some paranoid delusion of tiny fists of fury, I guess.

For you, clothed is what you temporarily are NOT when you're waiting in the doctor's office.

For us, clothed means that our owner is an indulgent person.

Denise and Ray and Chuck and Carolyn are indulgent. As much as they can be, usually. We strip for flights and we stay home when they have to get a driver's license.

The woman, NewMom, reached out towards Ray's hand. Towards me. The way some people reach for French fries right after realizing they could have ordered some but didn't.

The way some people reach towards the bellies of pregnant women.

And the way... Aw, hell, she was being pushy and forward. Ray did not quite snatch me out of her reach. That would have shaken me up. OR his grip would have tightened faster than I might have been ready for it.

Master is wonderfully indulgent, some times.

Rather, his fingers curled up a bit and he twisted away entirely. It bent Denise's arm awkwardly, but she didn't complain.

It also nearly shoved me into Carla's stomach. She braked unevenly to avoid collision, but didn't squawk either.

"Oh, I just wanted to see her, NewMom said.

"Don't touch another person's sylphs without asking," Ray said. "It's rude." She might have missed the dangerous tone in his voice. I knew him far too well and felt a tiny thrill that he defended me and my personal space.

Of course, that personal space was in his palm, but that's another matter.

Anyway, NewMom blinked, then took another step forward. "Oh, I pick up Buttercup and Pet all the time," she said, dismissing Ray's warning.

"I don't own Pet or Buttercup," he said, taking another step back. Denise stepped away from him and his free hand cupped around me. I rose up a bit on my knees to see over his thumb.

NewMom blinked again. "Alright. May I please take a look at your pet?"

"No," he said. It was almost like he was growling. At least in my ears. She blinked, not knowing where to go with that answer. She'd never imagined he might give it.

"Ray, this is-" Denise said and introduced the big people. I sank down and stroked Ray's palm. I wuv him, sometimes. He's well trained.

Pet and Buttercup were in the car. They were naked. Something about what NewUncle thought was proper for a sylph, and Chuck going along with it.

I didn't particularly love Chuck at that moment, but maybe he had an excuse. Like expecting to be in NewJackass' will, or Jackass having a history of violence or something.

Denise swept up the two sylphs and she and her sister started to walk towards Ray's car. I'm not sure if they'd have waited for Ray if he didn't fall in behind them.

"We'll ride with Ray, more room in the van that way," Carla said quickly. Ray put a thumb over my thighs to walk a bit faster.

"Hey, Ray!" It was the NewDad. Don't ask me what any of their names were. They never used mine.

"Yeah?" Lurch replied.

"I was wondering if I could ride with you, too. I wanted to talk to someone about sylphs."

Ray's hand tensed under me. The man was visiting a family that had hosted TWO sylphs almost as long as Ray had owned me. Anything there was to know on the topic, he could have gotten in Brunswick.

"What about them?" Ray asked.

"Oh, I was thinking about getting into breeding them," NewDad said nonchalantly.

"Sure," Ray said. I turned to stare up at him in shock. The very idea! I couldn't imagine the sort of people that would have sold Pet away from the family that owned Buttercup.

He was just saying 'sure' to discussing-

"We can sit in the back," he continued. "I already told Carla she could drive."

He walked over to the car and actually got in the back, handing the keys to his future sister in law.

Denise got in beside him. NewDad was already getting into the van.

"Well, that got him," Carla giggled.

"What?" I asked. "What got him?" For once, I had no idea what my owner had just done.

Denise put lifted my carrier to the seat between her and Ray and put her sylphs inside. Ray put me in with them. They both hugged me tight, like drowning people make nice to buoyant things.

"They said the men like to drive. But this is my car, so he can't bitch if I let a woman do it. It's either sit in the backseat or not go with me," we heard Ray saying.

"You're so secure in your manliness," Denise said in mock awe.



The humans discussed the Yuma family branch's culture with respect to women.

I let the other two cry on my shoulders about the same group's disrespect of sylphs.

Their status was somewhere between pets and collectibles. The guests heartily disapproved of a dollhouse, vice a cage, of clothed sylphs, of sylphs offering their opinions, of sylphs having a say.

I listened and sympathized. They couldn't explain why Chuck let his family dictate to him, but he always had. And the women, all five of them, were Southern-raised, too polite to offer dissent before guests.

"Lucky for me," I growled, "I got the same upbringing, but it didn't take." Pet offered a brave smile. Buttercup looked thoughtful. She was probably wondering if Vengeance Annie would help or aggravate her status when they went back home.

I toned back the snark in my tone and looked her in the eye. "I'll follow your lead, Buttercup. I'll even behave."

"That...would help," she said.

"In fact..." I started stripping for solidarity. "I'll fit right in."

"You'll be naked?" Pet asked. "For us?"

"If Buttercup thinks it'll help more than hurt, then-"

Pet grabbed me in a death-hug. "That's so wonderful!"

"My nudity is wonderful?" I asked, trying to wrestle an arm free. "Is there something you want to share with the group?"

"What?" she asked.

"No," Buttercup said. She kinda emphasized it so I didn't tease Pet any more on that topic. See? No teasing beyond the line. I'm innocent, here.

"Don't you need your owner's permission?" Pet asked. "I mean, it's wonderful that you'll choose to lose your clothes because we're naked and you don't want anyone to be uncomfortable with you being dressed but Ray has final say."

I held her face in my cupped hands and smiled pityingly at her. "Pet? Have you forgotten everything I've taught you?"

I ran up the ladder and lifted the hatch. "Master! I'm going naked so it'll make Buttercup and Pet feel better about being naked!"

"Or you could loan them clothes," Ray suggested with a glance at Denise for her okay, showing he's kinda sensitive to the plight of the height challenged but not too quick on the uptake.

"We'd need Chuck and Carolyn's permission for Buttercup to get dressed, moron, and they're in another car completely. Unless you want to roll down the windows as you drive beside them and shout?

"But that's okay, I'll wear clothes and Pet'll be dressed and her MOM will be letting it all hang out. That's a good Master solution for a social faux pas."

"Very well," he sighed. "You have the right of it. Go ahead."

He glanced down to see that I was already naked by the time he gave me permission. He nodded sagely and turned to say something about the car to Carla.

Evidently she'd taken the long way around to the restaurant. I figure she was reveling in the driving. Or giving Whatshisname and Denise more time to make smoochie faces at each other. Or maybe to let sylphs not be treated like... Well, no. No one goes out of their way for us sylphs.

But the upshot was that by the time we got there, they already had a table. And Chuck and Carolyn smoothed out the seating so we had a sanctuary.

Denise and Ray sat across from each other at one end of the table, with Denise's parents as a buffer. We three sat at a folding table Ray carried around for when I entertain guests.

The jackhats still called stupid down the length of the table from time to time, but I mostly ignored it. We mostly ignored it. Six inches tall and I can rise above humans being human. That's a sign of my innate superiority.

Anyway, brunch was divine. The Rio Bravo people put out a good spread and our owners were generous with their sharing.

Chuck didn't take Buttercup down the tables. He knew what she'd like and got it while Carolyn sat watching over their sylph.

Denise and Lurch carried us. Denise got stuff she and Pet found appetizing. Ray allowed me to choose my stuff.

I like it better that way. There's never a question if the bacon or egg or pancake is mine or his, I don't have to worry that my next bite will disappear down his maw. And I'm never worried that he's going to be stuck with a dish he doesn't like because he's trying to be nice to me.

But sometimes, watching the other two? They... They have a touching dynamic. They do everything together. Like the two musketeers.

Then i remember that to live like that, either Ray would have to drink RC Cola, or I'd have to eat American cheese. Fleh. Flecky-flecky fleh.

I'll stick with our system.

Although seeing Buttercup's delight at Chuck's haul has its attractions, too...

We ate and visited and Uncle JackButt said Chuck spoiled his sylph, and Chuck shrugged. And he said Denise really spoiled Pet, and Denise asked if Pet wanted another strawberry.

And he got as far as, "And as for that uppity brunette-" when Ray asked if he wanted to step outside.

"Salsa at ten paces!" I shouted. "May the best man blind the other!"

"See?" Uncle said. "You're just encouraging her."

"YOU are encouraging her," Ray replied. "I'm merely enabling her."

"Well, those creatures-" Uncle started.

"Shut your yap," Chuck said softly. The whole table froze. Chuck's older brother stared at him. I glanced around. Everyone was staring at him.

He reached over and gently scooped Buttercup up in his hand and held her to his face.

"When this little lady shrank," he said in a low voice, "she lost everything. Her husband was dead. Her kid was going to be born a pet. She lost job, home, height... Everything. What she missed most was family."

He reached out and we all watched him touch Buttercup's cheek. He may have been wiping a tear away. Or wiping away a tear he remembered from so long ago.

"You came over, remember? You heard we had a new guest in the family and said we should check it for fleas and sell it.

"It.

"You called this lovely lady.... It.

"I was going to punch you. SHE talked me out of it. Carolyn wanted me to punch you. This lovely... My FRIEND, here, said that family was the most important thing in the world.

"Family had to survive insults and blowhards and mindless bias and hate... She talked us into putting up with your shit, Herbert."

That sounded like such a Buttercup thing to do. I'd have advised a snake in his shower.

"Me, too," Master whispered as I had that thought. I must have said it out loud...

"But now your shit's affecting Pet. And my daughter, who loves her. Who is family. And affecting Ray. And Annie. Both of whom are going to be in my family.

"So, Herbert, you're my brother and I love you, but if you say anything, ANYTHING about my loved ones ever again, I'm going to kneecap you. Even if I disappoint my familiar, here."

"Never," Buttercup said in a shaky voice. He lifted her up and kissed the top of her head.

"Yuck," one of the kids said.

I glanced over in fear, but Carolyn wasn't looking jealous. She smiled. If anything, I figure she was thinking 'Finally.'

Chuck put Buttercup back down, then looked at Ray. "I have to take these people home for a few more days. Family, you know?"

"I do, sir."

"Think you could handle two tiny refugees for the rest of the week?"

"Three," Denise said.

"Four?" Carla asked.

"I have a couch," Ray said.

"And it must be comfortable," Pet said, "because he falls asleep on it all the time, well, not all the time, I mean he's awake right now and he never sleeps when Denise is over but if we're visiting-" Pet was on a roll. She was releasing stored up tension from maybe a week of putting up with the in-laws.

"The couch will be fine, kidlet," Carla assured her.

"Well, let's go get your cars and luggage," Ray said, standing.

"Are they going to," Jackbutt Mom asked, dropping her voice to a whisper, "live in sin?"

"No," I assured them loudly. "We're atheists so we don't believe in sin!"

And in that silence, we took our leave.



Pet was very impressed by Ray taking in refugees and said he was a sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet guy.

"Careful, Pet, I don't have my insulin handy," he teased. Him. He's the one.

Pet looked confused and came back to the carrier with me and asked, "What's an insulin?"

"He's saying he's at risk for diabetes," I explained. I didn't pause for her to ask what that was. "It's a condition where people can get sick if they have too much sweet stuff."

"Sick how?" she asked.

"Oh, I dunno." I tried to remember family stories of diabetics. "They can lose their feet, or get confused or go blind or... Loss of sexual prowess... Lots of bad stuff."

"Oh."

We made the long drive to Brunswick. We found out that while Herbert was staying in the folks' house, the adult cousins were staying in Carla's spare bedroom and the kids on Denise's living room floor.

They packed quickly and got their own cars. We followed Denise back to our place and Carla pulled in right behind us.

Ray had warned me on the way home that our guests were emotionally wrung out and probably just needed time decompressing.

"Yeah, sure, Master," I promised. "Hands off the fragile. We can put in some mindless movie and not ask opinions or mention sylph rights or driving or anything."

"That's a good idea," he said. Then in a pompous tone, "I grant you permission to make similar good suggestions as long as we're providing asylum."

"Then, Master," I said as subserviently as possible, "may I also suggest that you blow it out your ass until your hemorrhoids pop?"

"I said good suggestions," he pointed out.

"Ah. Not 'business as usual' suggestions. I see."

"See that you do," he said with a magnanimous nod. I resolved to put another gummy bear head on his pillow. But without trying to get Pet to assist, so she wouldn't feel moral-issue-stress.

We all staggered into the house. Or were carried by staggering people who'd spent too long in cars. Ray looked at the clock and said he was going to order pizzas at 5:30. Until then everyone was on their own.

He found sheets and a pillow for Carla and to my amazement, didn't suggest that Denise go into the bedroom with him.

He really WAS letting them decompress! I stroked his cheek and said, "Good boy!" Ray nodded and put me down in the living room near my house-carrier. The one I live in when we're not in the car. Or in the bedroom, in my drawer.

He scanned the TV listings and asked if anyone had seen 300 yet.

"Perfect," I said. "Hard bodies for the women, violence for you. You just have to promise not to criticize any deviations from history!"

"Scout's honor," he said. The six of us found comfortable seating and watched. It certainly took our minds off the Jackbutt's.

Ray even sat quietly as we discussed which Spartan looked cuter, or how hard their stomachs were.

When it was over, I wandered into my carrier for an afternoon nap. Buttercup followed me in. We stretched across the cushions and spoke quietly about the movie. All those nipple shots...two of them women.

"Pet was a little weird today," Denise said.

Buttercup and I sat up straight. Denise didn't talk about Pet in the third person if her sylph was in the room. And she wasn't in here with us...

"Weird, how?" Ray asked.

"Well, the whole drive down, she was asking if she was sweet."

"Pet is sweet," Carla said.

"I know. But she didn't like the answer. It seemed to upset her that I thought she was sweet."

"Why would that bother her?" Ray asked.

"I dunno. I told her that everyone I knew thought she was one of the sweetest people they'd ever met. She just got agitated."

There was a footstep outside the carrier. "Pet?" Ray called. "What's wrong with being sweet?"

Buttercup stepped to the doorway. "Ray, Pet's not in here with us."

"We thought she was..." he said, turning to look around.

"We thought she was with Denise," Buttercup said.

"No, she slid down my shin when the King asked the Spartans what their profession was. I haven't seen her since."

I ran out and kicked at Ray's shoe. "This is your fault!" I shouted.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know!" I shouted back. "But clearly YOU'RE to blame." And I was right, but then I didn't know why, not yet.

The biggies fanned through the house calling Pet's name. Which was stupid, even for Lurch.

There was no place in the house Pet could be that she hadn't heard the whole conversation. She knew we wanted to find her. So either she couldn't or wouldn't shout out a location to be found.

Buttercup and I shared a look at the silliness of owners and went out to find the kid.

She searched around the furniture, I made a beeline for the computer room. Master walked by me as I went down the hall. He raised his eyebrows, I pointed towards the open doorway. He nodded and went on his rounds.

She was under the desk. I found her by the sound of Scotch tape being pulled off of a roll.

I walked softly towards the leg area under the computer desk. She was walking stiffly as she laid out a stretch of tape. I watched as she carefully lay down on the floor at one end. She lined up carefully and then started to roll.

In a few moments, she had armored her waist with about four ply of clear plastic.

At the end of her roll, she was close to me and I saw that she'd already covered both of her legs with tape in the same fashion.

"Pet," I called softly, nothing to attract giant attention, "what in the name of Vishnu are you doing?"

"I'm trying to stand," she said. She managed to roll over onto her belly, then kind of levered herself up into the shape of a chevron. "Um... Help?"

"I can call Denise," I said.

"No!" she said softly, but urgently. "No, I have to finish!"

I stepped up and grabbed an upper arm. I lifted and she stood. She waddled backwards towards the leg of the chair and leaned on it.

"You look like a disco version of the tin woodsman," I told her.

"It's thicker than I thought," she said. She was breathing heavily for a moment or two, then more naturally as her body recovered from the effort. She was looking at the tape dispenser.

"Tell me what you're doing, Pet, and I'll help you."

"You'll put the tape down?"

"I said I'd help you, not that I'd help mummify you." I made an 'out with it' gesture.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. I shouldn't have made it an order. She stopped thinking of me as a fellow sylph and changed to treating me as a human.

"Well, Ray's a diabetic who risks insultin' and blindness and foot troubles and sexual downess and everyone says I'm sweet which means if I'm near him I might cause them to cut his feet off but if Denise is going to marry him, I either have to stop being so sweet or leave Denny or find a way to not be a risk to Ray so we don't have to stick a big needle in him six times a day for the insulting." She paused and gestured at the tape. "So I'm going to seal myself in."

"Well, Pet, that's wonderful It's a lovely, loving gesture," I said. She smiled. I hadn't made this situation, I sure as Hell wasn't going to be the Heavy.

"But if you keep this up, you won't be able to breathe."

"Oh." She hadn't thought of that. She looked worried.

"Tell you what. I'm going to go ask my master if he knows of any sealed suits they can make for sylphs."

"I don't..." She looked worried.

"Don't worry, Pet. You're naturally sweet, that's very sure." I gave her a hug, careful not to unbalance her. Over her shoulder I saw Buttercup trying to keep a straight face.

"You wait right here, Pet, I'll go ask Ray, okay?"

"Okay."

"And no more layers until we find out if they're necessary, okay?"

"Okay, Annie. And, thank you."

I passed her Mom as I went out. She nodded at me and went to help Pet find a comfortable place to lean.

Master was on all fours at this point, looking under furniture. I ran over to his hand and tapped it gently. He flipped his palm over and, at my signal, lifted me to his ear.

I punched his cheek as hard as I could. "Listen you fucking IDIOT!" I whispered into his listen-hole.

----------

An hour later, we all sat in my carrier, Pet between us. "I feel like a fool," she sighed.

"You're not a fool," Buttercup and I said together. Just not quite in chorus. Buttercup's tone was uplifting, mine was still angry-at-the-Ray.

Pet flinched. I refused to back down. "You're not!" I insisted. "You're not at fault! The six of us were in the same car, one of us should have noticed the multiple meanings of the word that confused you."

"You've just never met anyone with diabetes, Pet," Buttercup pointed out.

"But when you grasped the problem," I added. Pet started to raise her hand. "Okay, grasped what you thought the problem was, you took steps to fix it."

"Steps that made you suffer, not Ray and not Denise," Buttercup said proudly. "That's a great sacrifice you were willing to make."

"It was sweet," I said. "Maybe the sweetest thing I've ever seen anyone do." She started to look hopeful. "Anyone," I repeated. "Human or sylph." She smiled. There were hugs all around and she finally relaxed.

"Now," I said. "Now you know that Ray has nothing to fear from sweets..." I idly kicked my feet back and forth and, whoops, upset a cushion that had two Gumi Bears under it. "I think the bastard deserves two heads for making you scared."

"Oh, no," Pet replied, eyes on the candy.

"You know," Buttercup said. Her voice was idle and she was looking at her fingernails. "You know, just as an aside, if you didn't cut the heads off?"

"Yeah?" Pet and I asked, in chorus.

"If you cut them lengthwise, the sticky surface would be substantially larger. And would more likely stick to... Oh, anyone's face."

"Oooooh," I said. "Buttercup, have I ever invited you for the tour of my Master's headboard?"

"Why, no, Annie, I don't think you ever have?" We shared a conspiratorial glance between the three of us and the two bears that would soon be sticking to Master's face.

And we giggled. The sound echoed just a bit in the carrier. At least one human heard us. "Sounds like they've forgiven you," Denise told Lurch.

Oh, if she only knew.

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