Annie CLII: Guest

(Immediately after Hostess)

---------

"Ahem."

Everyone turned to see Buttercup on top of the table holding the remains of the cake. She was swinging a spoon against a glass to get everyone's attention.

They all stopped talking and moved a bit closer.

"I, uh, well," she said. "I've been an unappreciative guest and recipient." She waited but no one interrupted. "It… The bed. It's a great bed. It's a fine gift. I, uh…" Her voice choked off. Every human stood quietly, waiting for her to recover.

Ray felt a tapping at his ankle and lifted Annie to the table by Buttercup. Denise placed Pet down by the other sylphs at the same moment.

"What Buttercup wants to say," Annie belted out, "Is that the bed reminds her of some of the best parts of her marriage, and of her life before The Day. So she's a little overcome with many powerful emotions."

"Ah," many guests said.

"But good ones!" Pet shouted. "Good emotions, right, Buttercup!?"

"Yes," Buttercup managed to force out. She took both sylphs into a tight hug.

"And," Annie went on, "she wants everyone to know that she appreciates the party, the gifts, the bed and even Lurch, there, for his efforts to make the party a success."

"I couldn't ask for more than that," Ray said.

"As Annie has pointed out," she said, looking at Ray, Gwen and Victor, "Denise and Pet aren't making my family smaller by marrying out, they're making it bigger."

"AND," Annie said, "I've trained all of the new people how to give finger hugs!"

Ray knelt by the table and offered a finger-hug. Buttercup lunged into it. She hugged everyone in turn, then smiled.

"Well, that's sorted," Chuck said. "Guess we need to be getting along home."

"I need to pack!" Annie said. Ray lifted her travel carrier to the table.

"We've got room for that," Chuck assured her. Ray kissed Annie goodbye, and Denise kissed Pet. Then they were off to Buttercup's place for a sleepover.

----------

Chuck and Carolyn played word games on long drives. Tonight was 20 Questions, chosen by the birthday girl. Annie was more used to singing than thinking, so she just observed.

For all that Pet presented as a Hollywood Blonde, she was quite the 20 Questions shark. She never forgot ANY clue, including the answers to everyone else's questions.

Of course, Annie thought, it was perfectly in character for her to win when the secret was the atomic weight of lead, then turn around and pick 'puppy' as her secret topic.

It did make the miles flow right on by. Before she knew it, they were up to Brunswick and off the freeway and in the driveway.

Then they were all on the table in front of the dollhouse Buttercup lived in, and Pet had been born in.

But Chuck didn't put the four-poster bed in her bedroom. He took it out of the box, but then yawned theatrically and led his wife back to their bedroom.

"Don't take this wrong," Annie said, "And maybe I'm missing something, but what the fuck? I mean, really, what the fuck?"

"We have to move the bed in!" Pet said with a smile. "Oh, but if you're tired, we can do that tomorrow?"

"I invited you both up here to sleep in my birthday gift," Buttercup said. "So, let's put my birthday gift together!"

"Wait, wait, this is what I'm missing!" Annie protested. "Chuck and Carolyn could have this thing in place in moments!"

"Yes, if they were playing with their dollhouse toys," Buttercup said. "It just seems… Less real, I guess? To me, that is. Or is that silly?"

"Oh," Annie replied, starting to understand.

"It's like if they're just playing with dolls and we get to watch them do it," Pet said. "And they do ask where Buttercup wants everything but they still… We just stand around and can't play with the furniture until they're through playing with it."

"I see." Annie stepped towards the door. "Then maybe we should move the old bed out, first?"

Half an hour later, Annie and Pet were finally shoving the mattress down the hall towards the assembled frame. Buttercup had stopped hanging the canopy while there was room for the mattress to go.

Once that was in place, they all three set to making the bed, including the new sheets and pillows.

After that, they stood to one side of the room and contemplated the fruit of their labors.

"Jackass," Annie muttered.

"Who?" Buttercup asked, scandalized.

"Ray," Pet predicted, rolling her eyes. "Whatever it is, it's Ray's fault."

"Exactly!" Annie said. "ALL THESE YEARS that asshole has done everything for me. Furniture in, furniture out, closet assembled, clothes packed, cushions washed… I have NEVER felt this much satisfaction in a domestic job well-done because Lurch always did every domestic job!"

"Leaving you," Pet pointed out, 'feeling like the boss in the relationship."

"Well, yeah, anyone can see that," Annie replied. "Someone has to be the inferior member and clearly it's not me."

"Very well, Annie," Buttercup said, "tomorrow's normally my day for chores. Would you like to clean my bathroom?"

Annie smiled. "Don't take this wrong, but I would LOVE to scrub your toilet, Buttercup."

"Great. We'll just have to hide that fact from Carolyn." "Oh, yes," Annie agreed. "Gwen's the same about guests not being allowed to lift a fing-" She interrupted herself with a yawn.

"Okay," Buttercup clapped her hands briskly. "Time for bed!"

"You smooth talker," Annie said. She started to undress.

There was a brief pause as the three sylphs started to pull back the covers. "Who's going to be in the middle?" Buttercup asked.

"That's silly!" Pet said. "You're the one who cried today! You get hugged from both sides tonight!"

"Brilliant logic," Annie said.

"It is, isn't it?" Pet replied. They both ignored tears on Buttercup's cheeks.

---------

Buttercup woke when Chuck did. She was in the middle of a sandwich of heat. Pet curled into her arms while Annie spooned her back.

It was warm and intimate and wonderful and totally impossible to sneak out of. Buttercup couldn’t move without someone protesting being moved a millimeter closer to consciousness.

She finally just softly said, "Potty," in any ear she could reach. "Gotta go potty." Both of her guests let go and rolled away from her. She crawled to the foot of the bed and out.

She washed her face and put on a robe and met Chuck as he went towards the kitchen. He lifted her silently and placed her by the coffee machine. Coffee was her responsibility in the morning. Chuck told anyone who would listen that no one had her skill at pushing the START button.

He threw a croissant in the microwave and went out to get the paper.

They took turns on the crossword puzzle. He owned the horizontal clues, she owned the vertical. She stood and sipped her coffee as he tried to work the entire puzzle in one smooth go.

"Geese," he said, putting pen to the paper.

"That," she said softly, "would make 8 down a 'step' sign."

"Like I said, goose," he said, writing in the letters.

"Bed," he said after another moment of silence.

"It's wonderful," she told him.

"You were sad," he pointed out. She knew he'd felt exactly what she was feeling when she saw the gift.

"I miss him," she replied, then tapped the puzzle with her food. "HE could never spell science correctly, either. I-E."

"It's after a c!" he protested.

"I don't care if it's after Labor Day," she said. "It's still S-C-I-E-N-C-E."

"Are you sure?" he asked. She could feel that he was teasing, avoiding the subject of her being sad, even though he'd brought it up.

"Do you think a common pasta dish is 'spaghette?' Sounds French."

"Sounds like a surgical tool."

"A tiny little spoon," she said, "with a really long stem."

"For scooping beans out of a child's nose."

"Well, any legume."

"And any orifice."

"I told a dirty joke while we were shelling peas…"

"…And the doctor had to bring out his favorite spaghette." They smiled at each other. She put her cup down to wrap her arms around his wrist. "I miss him," she repeated, "but I do love it here."

"You say that every year," he said. "Thirty nine-" he started.

"For six years in a row," they both finished.

"Honestly." Neither looked up as Carolyn entered the room. "If I was the jealous type, I'd be worried about you two." She filled her mug and added creamer.

"Act natural," Chuck said to the sylph.

She stood up and glared at him. "You SAID you told her!"

"I said I WOULD tell her. Future. Not past."

"Tell me what?" Carolyn asked innocently. "That you and your familiar share a sense of humor that in four states would qualify as felony teasing?" She kissed her husband's forehead and sat down. "Old news."

"That's what I tell the bartender every day," Chuck said. "That my wife understands me."

"What does he advise?" Buttercup asked.

"He says I should marry her."

"Seems a little extreme."

"Georgia has weird customs. Marry your wife, love your familiar, crazy shit like that."

"Crazy," Carolyn agreed, wrapping her fingers around their sylph. They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment or two.

"Think the kids'll be this happy?" Carolyn finally asked.

"They can't help but be," Chuck said. "They're starting with two familiars."

"Oh," Buttercup said. The humans looked down to meet her gaze. "I, uh, I guess that means we have to give those familiars back?"

"DARN TOOTIN'!" Pet shouted from somewhere around the floor.

"Tell 'em, sister!" Annie encouraged her. Carolyn reached down to the floor with an open hand.

Back to the Index