Annie CLVI: Metaphors

(Chronological index: Ray as College Junior)

Susan and Thomas hosted Thanksgiving Dinner for their single friends and coworkers. Annie was invited, of course, with Ray as her 'plus one,' and a couple other students from Susan's classes.

Thomas invited a few single friends from the radio station. There was an even number of males and females at the table, if one included the only sylph.

Annie, comfy in her to-scale chair and table set between Ray and Thomas' friend, Marc, naturally included herself.

The couple had gone so far out of their way to include little Annie as a real guest that she sat silently as Susan said grace. She even bowed her head, though never taking her eyes off of the sweet potato casserole. Glorious Master had been known to filch helpings during prayer. She wanted a cut if he did.

But they made it to and through 'amen' without incident. Ray grabbed the closest dish and served a demitasse spoonful of casserole, heavy on the marshmallow, onto Annie's platter.

Dishes were passed and conversations started. Marc passed the rolls and said to Ray, "Hey, I heard a joke the other day. You know the Scarecrow? Oz? What does he have in common with atheists?"

"Unguessed intellectual power?" Annie replied.

Marc hesitated to respond. He'd clearly been talking to Ray, and hadn't expected the sylph's input. He also clearly had expected a different punchline.

"I, um, no. No, they're both brainless," he finally said.

"Ah. So you've never actually seen the movie," Annie nodded. Ray was cutting a bit of turkey breast free for her. She clapped to see that he also included some nicely-crisp skin in her portion.

"What do you mean?" Marc asked. He looked around the table. Thomas wouldn't meet his gaze. Susan looked back with an expectant smile. "The movie, Wizard of Oz? The Scarecrow was looking for brains."

"BUT," Annie said, "in the end everyone turned out to have what they were looking for all the time."

"No, they… Wait," Marc flustered.

"Dorothy had her way home," Theresa said tentatively. "Didn't she?"

"The shoes," Ray nodded. "That was the whole theme. Everyone wanted to Wizard to give them something they already had."

"Oh, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man," Thomas sang. Susan joined him to finish with, "That he didn't, didn't already have."

"He got a watch," Theresa said more confidently. "But he already had a 'heart' for what that's worth."

"And the Cowardly Lion had plenty of courage," Joseph said. "He felt fear, and thought that made him a coward, but he still went into the Witch's castle when his friends needed him."

"And that took courage," Susan nodded.

"But the POINT," Marc insisted, "is that atheists are stupid to ignore God!"

"Then," Annie said, "you should have told a joke that actually meant atheists are stupid."

"Yeah," Thomas drawled. "Comparing them to the man the Wizard chose to lead the city means they're like smart people."

"I don't remember that," Theresa said.

"It's in the books," Joseph said. Susan nodded.

Annie ignored the conversation for a bit. They talked about the Oz books which she'd never read, and probably wouldn't unless Master read them to her. That seemed a low-order probability.

Plus, she'd taken a bite of the skin and was melting into her happy place. Susan had used herbed butter on the turkey breast and it was a slice of Heaven. "Metaphorically," she muttered.

Marc's comment brought her back into the conversation. "Of course, the sylph would be an atheist," he was saying.

"Why is that?" Ray asked. Annie was surprised. His voice didn't sound dangerous, but she could feel his temper.

"Well, she must be angry and disappointed with life," Marc explained.

"Watching her eat my turkey says you're wrong," Susan said with a smile.

"Annie is something of a Hollywood Atheist," Ray said. Everyone stared at him, including the sylph. He shrugged. "She was a believer, she shrank, she's angry at God for shrinking her, now she withholds her belief."

"See?" Marc said. Annie's eyebrows rose as she considered the description. What the hell made that a 'Hollywood' atheist?

"On the other hand," Ray continued, "I would not say that she's disappointed with life."

"Not right now," Thomas nodded.

"Good food, good friends," Annie said. "Good friends who make good food! It's like a beer commercial!" Most of the diners laughed. Joseph toasted Susan's cooking. Everyone raised their glasses.

"I opened the can of cranberries," Thomas bragged. Susan toasted her husband. Everyone raised their glasses again.

The company settled down to serious eating. Several hoped the topic had died.

"Still," Marc finally said, ignoring several sighs, "you ARE celebrating Thanksgiving. And said grace."

"Yes," Ray said. "We are celebrating a national holiday. And I," he glanced down, "We were polite while our hostess said grace." Annie beamed up at him for his inclusive pronoun. "But I certainly didn't say grace." Annie shook her head.

"You said amen!" Marc accused.

"I also say 'bless you' when you sneeze," Annie said. "And 'excuse me' when I belch."

"You don't belch," Ray pointed out. "But you do say excuse me when _I_ belch,"

"Someone has to!" she protested.

"She is your conscience," Susan said in support.

"And the better part of your social skill set," Joseph added.

"And she's much cuter than you are," Theresa added.

"Is this beat-up-on-Ray Day?" Ray moaned.

"Well," Susan said, "let's just say it's not beat-up-on-Marc Day. Please?"

"Quite right," Ray said. He turned to fully face his fellow guest. "Happy Thanksgiving, Marc."

"Yeah," Annie agreed. Then she leaned down to slice her cranberry.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Ray, Annie," Marc said. The two men nodded and went on with their dinner.

All in all it was a happy meal, in the end. For the game of Trivial Pursuit afterwards, Susan insisted that Ray and Annie play on separate teams.

"Their natural rivalry is the only chance the rest of us have," she explained.

Finally it was time to go. Ray and Marc left about the same time. Marc held the door and nodded Ray through. They walked down the stairs together.

"You know," Marc said, as if the thought had just occurred to him, "I could probably help you bring your sylph to God."

"Why would she want that?" Ray asked. Annie smiled again at Ray's use of pronouns. He didn't ask why would HE want to settle his pet's soul…

"I figured it's something you would want," Marc said. "I mean, as her owner…"

"First off, Marc," Ray said, "Annie's relationship with her skybuddy is her business." Marc stared.

"Also, Annie's the believer-turned-angry-atheist," Ray smiled. "I have never been a believer."

"You…?" Marc's mouth worked, but nothing came out.

"Yeah." Ray lifted his hand, fingers crossed together. "Me and the Scarecrow." He turned and walked to his car.

Once he was back in the dorm, he lifted Annie to his desk, then crossed his arms and lowered his head. They regarded each other from mere inches apart.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't get it," he said. "If I was Christian, why would I want to force you to be Christian, too?"

"Oh, Master," she sighed. "I don't know if that's a compliment or a curse." She turned to step into her cage. He placed a finger on the cage door.

"Wait, what?"

She turned back. "I'm your pet, Ray. You can decide if I wear clothes, and what I wear." Ray started to protest, she held up a hand to stall his remark. "You give me a lot of freedom, but it's still YOUR decision.

"You could dress me up in a little maid outfit, or a nurse's outfit, or dress me up like a banana, if you wanted." He nodded, acknowledging the possibility. "And you could, if you wanted, force me to recite the Lord's Prayer, or memorize the Sermon on the Mount, or list Jesus' genealogy back to David."

"With a little dance," Ray said softly. They shared a smile. Though they'd been six years apart in school, they'd both had Mrs. Baen in 7th grade. She taught a chant of all the helping verbs, with little gestures to help remember each verb's meaning.

"Jesus," Annie said, hands together in prayer, "Joseph," lifting her hands to her cheeks, "Jacob," and crossed her arms.

"Wait, what's that with Joseph?" Ray asked.

"Two seconds after, 'Honey, I'm pregnant!' he's shocked," Annie explained.

"Anyway?" Ray asked with a chuckle.

"Well, okay, you don't do that. You don't do any of that… Anymore."

"I enjoy your free expression," Ray said, reaching to stroke her hair. She ducked his finger.

"So, if I have the rights to free expression, and religious freedom, why do you still treat me as a pet!?!" she shrieked.

He recoiled, but only for a second. "I said I enjoy it," he replied. "Not that you have a right to it."

"Oh." She deflated, growing small even for a sylph under her master's hand.

"But," Ray went on, "for a pet, I do respect your free expression."

"Fuck off," she snapped.

"That's it," he snapped back. "Six Hail Mary's for swearing. No, twenty! You swore at your loving master!"

"Do you even know what a Hail Mary is, my loving jackass?" she asked. She crossed her arms and glared.

"No idea," he admitted. "Do you?"

Annie closed her eyes, lifted her hands in prayer, counted to twenty. "There, done," she reported.

"I think one of us just took God's name in vain," he mused.

"The Pope says I don't have a soul," she shrugged. "If one of us is going to Hell, it's not me."

"And I don't believe in souls!" he said happily.

"Well, of course not, you dance like a white boy."

"What does that have to do with soul?" he asked, feigning total ignorance.

"The Blues Brothers soundtrack IS still in your tape player, Ray," she said.

"Oh! MUSICAL soul," he said.

"Soul Music," she corrected.

"You made a PUN!" His smile faded. "Mom would give us sixty Hail Mary's."

"Dad would give us sixty lashes," she agreed.

"Well, not you. Dad would never punish you. I'd be the one responsible for the behavior of my pet."

"Oh, I would never do anything to get you in trouble, Master!" Annie swore. Then broke down in laughter. Ray kept a straight face for about another second.



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