Annie CLXIV: NFL



Annie CLXIV: NFL

(Chronological index: Ray/Denise Married, Ruth known)

Annie loved the Jacksonville team, the Jaguars. She considered them to be her team.

Not 'hers' as in possession. More of a symbolic connection.

Before the NFL expansion that year, Annie knew little about football. Her cheerleader years were more about the players than the plays.

Raymond wasn't big on sports. To him, the NFL was like school dances: something that happened to other people.

So when the city first announced that it was trying for an expansion team, she paid little attention then.

"It's not like I'll ever be a Jaguarette," she muttered as they watched the news.

"I dunno," Ray said. "That is a tiny little stadium. I'm not sure they can have a team AND a cheerleading squad unless one of them's sylphs."

But then the NFL became pooty-heads. Or, she suspected, had always been pooty-heads, and now it was obvious.

Jacksonville managed to meet every requirement, pass every goal, and supply every bona fide the other teams' owners asked for. Clearly, the entire city was behind the bid for a team.

And just as clearly, the NFL wanted to put a team someplace else. Cities that were more metropolitan ‘celebrities’ didn't meet the goals or show the support, but they were allowed to stay in the running anyway.

Annie began to see the NFL as a giant, and the still-hopeful Jaguar team as a sylph.

The little sylph always cheered for the underdog. She never noticed any reason to feel self-conscious about it, either. Reflection wasn't much of an Annie trait.

Sylphing was the ultimate underdog experience. She went from being one of the most popular girls in her class to sitting in a pocket. Instead of everyone wondering what she was wearing, they wondered if she knew any tricks.

She used to measure her day by the number of boys or teachers she could make walk into a wall. Now, the effort to get her owner's attention was often more than it was worth.

The owners were after a team in a city that the rest of the nation could find on a map. They didn't want a city no one had heard of.

Suddenly, she was a Jaguar supporter. There were a number of fund-raising efforts associated with the team, with the bid. She announced that she was donating her entire saved allowance to one of them.

Ray made sure to take her to the mall, and to introduce her to the organizers as the source of the $24.55.

The organizers thanked her and even took her picture for the paper. (The 'every little bit helps' caption almost pissed her off when it ran, but she made a conscious effort to be philosophical about it.)

Ray hadn't made as big a deal when he slipped a $50 in with her crumpled singles, so she pretended not to notice.

When they left the supporter storefront, he pretended not to know why she crawled up his collar and hugged him tight.

After the owners finally announced the expansion, the whole city had a party atmosphere that reminded her of the Christmas season, except without the burden of wrapping gifts.

For the first two seasons, the Jag's even played like they had an underdog strategy. Game after game, they came from way behind, winning at the last second.

Annie won three times her weight in caramel popcorn by getting Ray to bet on the game, but waiting until the fourth quarter to do it. She still didn't understand football all that well, but she did see how her team blossomed when they thought they were going to disappoint their fans.

For years, a significant portion of her allowance went towards Coach Coughlin's Special Data Base.

There were a number of people that became quite disappointed on The Day. Some NFL stars, rising stars, and has-beens sylphed right before the start of the official season.

Team rosters were thrown into chaos and bitter fans cursed the sylphs as if it was their personal fault.

In Jacksonville, though, the sylph slate was clean. And the Coach sought out any sylph with experience at playing or coaching the game. They were a much-maligned asset that he used to craft a powerful team.

Annie used to search for the cage with The Database in team photos. "That's my team," she would assert. "Sure, the lumbering hulks carry the ball around, but these guys. Those are the reason they win. And I helped build that team."

Being who he was, Ray calculated the cost of the sylph collection, compared it to Annie's contribution, and determined that she owned tiny Bradshaw's left foot from his toes to about a third of the way up his shin.

She liked the idea, but not where he chose to start the measurements.

When the sports reporters announced rumors that Jacksonville was interested in acquiring Michael Vick as their quarterback… Well, she was conflicted.

"I think that the Jags should be allowed to do anything legal to advance the Jags," she said. She was sitting on Ray's shoulder as he delivered her and Ruth to the mall for an afternoon of movies and ice cream, just the two of them.

"But the moral dimension of blood sports? I mean, dogs are more helpless than sylphs are. We can at least report assholes if an authority comes by."

"Well, there's not much of a chance of Recidivism," Ray said. "If Vicks does anything wrong, anything at all, he's out of the game entirely."

"Yeah," Ruth said sourly. "That's the criteria for evaluating the situation."

"Hey," Ray said, "considering how many players can't get into the huddle between plays, that's important."

"Why can't players get into the huddle?" Annie asked.

"Because the terms of their parole prevent associating with known felons."

"Har," Ruth said. "Har and dee har."

"I think…" Annie said softly. She never noticed that both of the humans sat quietly to listen to her. Her ‘underdog’ status wasn't terribly visible in her home, but she still wasn't into self-examination.

"I think, I'm going to have to withdraw my support of the Jaguars."

"That's too bad," Ray said. Annie looked to see if he was being sarcastic. "No, really," he said. "I know how much they've meant to you."

"You do?"

"How could I not," he said. "You've always looked alluring in spots."

She growled at him.

----

Five months after that, Vick signed with the Eagles. Ruth congratulated her sister as they sat down to dinner. “You can support the Jags again!”

“No,” Annie said. “No, it appears that the rumors were true, they were interested. And it was the interest that drove me to stop supporting them.”

“She does that,” Ray told Ruth, placing the grilled pork on the table.

“Does what?” Ruth and Pet asked.

“Does what, now?” Annie snarled.

“She,” Ray said, “shows a remarkably advanced moral dimension. It can pop up in quite surprising ways.”

“Especially,” Denise added, “for someone raised by Raymond.”

“Oh, har, dee, har, and har,” Ray replied.

“Hey!” Annie yelled. “My Sister taught him that!”



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