Theist? What Theist?
- Theist - One who believes in the existence of God as a fundamental
- Atheist - One who does not believe in God
- Apatheism: I don't care if there is a God
- Assault and Aggratheism: You will hear the word of the Lord if I have to
tie you down.
- Inclusive Polytheism: Every religion is at least a little bit right.
- Generous Polytheism: Every Religion is basically right.
- Snobbish Polytheism (Christian Schismatic): Every Christian Religion is
basically right, but mine is most right.
- Delusiotheism: My religion is the only possible interpretation of reality.
- Traumatheism: How could you believe in a God that allows _______ to happen?.
- Visuatheism: I want the neighbors to see me go to church.
- Polititheism: I go to church for the votes.
- Astigmatheism: IS there any other religion?
- Militant Agnosticism: I don't know if there is a god, and NEITHER DO YOU!
- Charismatheism: I dunno if there is a God, but my pastor is a HUNK!
- Illiteratheism: Not one thing in the Bible has ever been proven wrong, nor
has any prophecy failed.
- Sneakitheism: Thanks for coming to the Scout meeting. Would you like to
testify to the congregation?
- Biggotheism: best defined by the words of the guy on a chat room a few
weeks ago: Only a spoiled white boy could read the bible and not perceive
God's infallible message.
- Pollytheism - I believe in everthing that my parrot says.
- NRAtheist, "The voices told me to stay home today and clean the guns."
Zelazney's Agnostic Prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which
may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven
for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure
any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of
your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as
the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit.
I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and
that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the
matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of
this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.
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