ELEPHANTICITY Feedback

THE TRUTH CAN BE VERIFIED


Some of the Feedback we have received (names deleted to prevent future legal action)

"This Site....hilarious."
Feedback from a misguided soul at Talk Origins, who clearly feels that 200 years of teaching 'Electricity Theory' is a big JOKE!

"'Elephanticity' certainly answers a lot of questions about weird qualities of electricity. Suppose these are the distant cousins of those holding up the world?"
We at Elephanticity have never tried to connect the Microphants to the Lithophants...further research is required. But we wonder, with Macrophants, Microphants, Lithophants, would this Hierarchy of Pachyderms necessarily imply that somewhere, somehow, there is a Hierophant?

I fear that your comments regarding nuclear plants is close to the truth, but it appears that the government campaign of misinformation has affected even you. As you said, nuclear plants do not create "electricity", but neither are they there to mollify the masses by perpetuating the illusion.
They are, instead, training barracks for tiny, tiny, tiny WAR elephants. Fed high-energy uranium, they're packed into rockets and stand ready to smash our enemies under our feet. Look what they did to Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and New Jersey! Nothing can stand against the stomping assault of thousands of war elephants bent on destruction.
It goes without saying that "nuclear fission" is likewise a dirty lie.
Jason's name withheld for his protection as we think he sent it from work....
Truth informs Truth! Bit by bit, the evil lie is picked at, disected, and defeated. We thank Jason, our brother somewhere in the Publication Industry, who is surely in a position to know. As we mentioned, Elephants have long been used for WAR efforts. We were unaware of the modern extent... or of New Jersey....

Sirs!
It is past believing that you are still clinging to the outdated theory that electrical functions are carried out by elephants. Or don't you know that it was overthrown in the NINETEENTH CENTURY by James Clerk Maxwell who definitely showed that all functions electrical are carried out by tiny demons.
This theorem doesn't need any stupid forks to be proved but is self-evident to anyone who has ever tried to use a computer or program a VCR.
Regards, J.W.E.R.
JWER made sure to send this correction TWICE, and is being considered in that respect. While blaming demons is rather in vogue for VCR's and mental disorders, it is just for the fact of the fork experiment that we tend to remain convinced of the fact of our assertion.
Thanx for the feedback, Jwer, we will schedule a future experiment to see if electrical devices are affected by exocism.

Further missive from JWER:
You quote the "Fork Experiment" in order to sustain your absurd, elephantine (Is that a fat joke?)claims. However, I suspect that you never performed it yourself because a normal three- or four-tined fork cannot be inserted into an electrical outlet.(Ignoring the benchmark phrase of the Safety Industry: "Nothing is foolproof, as fools are SO ingenious.") One has to use a two-tined fork instead, which is extremely suggestive in and by itself as will presently become clear.
So, for the sake of scientific experiment I had my mother-in-law repeat the test, and she was absolutely certain that she had been PRODDED BY A RED-HOT PITCHFORK.
Now, as
A. Last Words are always Truth, and
B. Pitchforks are standard issue for demons,
Maxwell's thesis has triumphantly been proven once again.
Finally, let me caution you against trying to exorcising demons from electrical applyances. This has been done over and over again but has only led to ever increasing numbers of dead cell-phones on the one hand, and more and more free-floating electro-demons on the other hand, the reason being that an exorcism doesn't destroy the demon but only drives it from the body it occupies (which is in most cases left behind as a dead hulk). So if you don't want to be responsible for raising electro-smog to even higher levels, no exorcisms please.

We're not sure if this is entirely concern for our welfare, or for enlightened self-interest in favor of a demon-free Earth, but we'll take it as concern. We even appreciate the experiment and results reported, tho we retain the right to come to our own conclusions. We just have one little quibble, if you will. OUR mother-in-law is 'absolutely certain' of MANY things, and if we haven't listened to her in 15 years of marriage, why pay any more credit to her utterings when posthumous?

Feedback from one David
: You seem to have a messed up veiw about electricity. I am 15 and understand it completely. Maybe its because I knew someone who worked in the electrical generation procces, but elephants? There are natural gas powered and hydroelectric generators and they don't use oil. I understand that its your belief, but if you tried to understand it and still didn't, you could have pick a better animal.

Also, chess and AD&D maybe evil, but I play them for fun, its not like I believe in them.
It's actually heartening when a youth feels the need to stand up for his own beliefs, but rather disheartening when the youth so completely misses the point of what we're tryiing to accomplish, here. If you understand electricity completely, David, maybe you could explain how electricity lights a light? If, say, 9 milliamps goes into a bulb, lights it, and 9 milliamps comes out of the bulb, wouldn't the laws of thermodynamics demand that some energy be expended to light that light?

Return to the Truth.

Satanic Chess Feedback

The Poisonous Prepared Position



Dude, get some air.
A very affected visitor, seeking to support our efforts with basic health advice. Thank YOU, dued. Or should We say 'Brot?'

Certainly is a...'different' take on the game.
Cautious support from a new visitor

I don't think you explored the disturbing word "stalemate."
Interesting new research path from an experienced chess fan.

Are you aware of the homosexual overtones of Chess? If two guys are playing, both of them are trying to 'mate' the other....
Important symbolic safety tip for heterosexuals. Should also keep unmarried women from a symbolic loss of virginity through game play.

Doesn't Harry Potter have a chess game in it?
Yes, near the climax. This is probably not a coincidence. And, speaking of Chess in the Media, the first time we see Star Trek's 3D chess, it is being played by a pointed eared 'Alien' revealed in a later episode to be 'The Devil!'



Something else to consider:
earliest chess pieces identified: 610 AD.
Muhammad started preaching: 610 AD.
Coincidence? I don't think so.
Disturbing vindication of the suspicion of non-christian influence upon the Chess Trap.


"it's origins are lost in pagan antiquity"
You misspelled "its". Otherwise it's a great page.
A scathing and nit-picking attack on our ministry, carefully including a proper use of 'it's' in the following compliment from Steven
Thanks, Steven, we fixed it, and Thanks, Steven!

I must say, though, to my mind you have a profound understanding of the greater truths that lie cloaked in string theory. But I was a mite disappointed you didn't identify the aspects of homosexuality latent within the game of chess. Then, too, there's the connection with certain esoteric fraternal orders that construct their temples with b/w checkered floors...no doubt for some insidious Hermetic or QBLH goddess worship rituals given the privileges allotted the Queen, with Keter looking on with regal passivity as the other pieces transcend or fall as they attempt to work their way to him, eh?

Um, Yes, well, that seems likely, at least until we can research it further....we appreciate this input from Seeker, and wish him (her?) luck in whatever the hell it is (s)he's talking about.


jonny spillgood started to comment on the site:
Hi I recently had the misfortune of running into your little website and reading all the interesting little stereotypes. First of all, there is no good or evil in chess. White is no more
And that's it. We appreciate little jonny's attempt to communicate with us, but wish he could afford a web browser that could parse messages that were a little bit bigger. We were please to find a second message from him the same day, but were disappointed in that it was a complete resend of the first one...
Still, it's always nice to see that someone else has found the site. Than for the feedba , jonny spillgo . Bett luc wit yo nex one.


Skizzik sent a message that was about half as big as the advertising embedded in it. Skizzikd is actually Sir Zebra Galbor Feel The Power, which is a cruel handle to weld to any child, and may explain the hype in his signature "Antipikey Superstar of the Hexagonal Mouthed Photosynthesizers I DIE REGULARLY**Terms and conditions apply. Then some martinis interspersed with roses and either bats or the arachnids from Starship Troopers, you really have to get him to e-mail you so you can see it. Anyway, all this to present:
Maybe you should stop taking stuff too seriously and actually start thinking for yourself. AD&D is FICTION!!! And if people get 'possessed' by it, that's their problem for failing to be able to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

Well, Sir Zebra Galbor Feel The Power, can we call you The Power? Anyway, The Power, there is a vast difference between traditional fiction that is piped streaming into a passive brain and beguiling interaction that fires the imagination, demands attention spans, promotes team building, and otherwise seduces young minds into devilish fantasy and personalized adventure. Even in capital letters it's no less a threat to properly conditioned minds. And if people's failure to tell the difference is their problem, would you similarly blame paranoids for failing to detect real from delusional threats? Blame Schizophrenics for failing to know which is the real 'Me?' Readers of the Enquirer for failing to detect News from Gossip from Pure Freaking Made-Up Crap? Heart attack victims for failing to keepthe beat? Thank you for sharing that loving and compassionate view, but maybe you're jumping to a few conclusions here.



Rev. Jon Roller agrees with us that CHESS IS INDEED EVIL: Dear Sibling in Christ, God has in his wisdom seen fit to grant a mercy upon me, his worthless and sinful servant! That mercy is your page on the evils of Chess. Indeed, I have spent time in prison and I know of the horrible addiction that is chess. The stakes were always high, many prisoners who lost a game of chess lost mush more to the hands of Sodomites.
I have tried to explain the evils of chess to the brothers and sisters of my congregation, but they do not understand. Many of them have never played chess, thankfully, and in their innocence they cannot comprehend the evil that so many world round are tricked into. Chess is considered intelligent and sexy. Many Russians excel and chess. It seems harmless. But, praise Jesus, you have allowed the Holy Spirit to declare a warning through your web page.

Thank you very much. May Christ protect you.
Yes, we have long noted the number of Famous Russian Chess Masters...

Slamming Sammy took the time to tell us::
I read your article. You have some good points, but i disagree 500%. maybe some of your ideas would be valid if the game was more than jsut a game. but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
But that is, of course, our assertion...that it is more than 'jsut' a game. Sammy goes on:
do you honestly believe that the creators of chess decided that the two sides were to represent good and evil? according to that theory, i could do a number on black and white television. now would that make sense?
We could not possibly assess the 'sense' of your article on the evils of television until you write one. Although we feel there is a great deal of material available to you for this subject.
And for your little theory that white, or "the good guys", goes first because good generally has an advantage over evil, well, SOMEONE has to go first. it wouldnt really matter if black or white went first. there are SOOO many other things that are so wrong on so many different levels, but its getting late and i have to go to bed.
Well, lucky for us you had the energy to make this post, after finding SOOOO many problems with our 'article.' Thanks for posting.
you people are amazing.
Well, thanks, our own opinion of our efforts is a little more humble, but you're welcome to your opinion....

Return to the Chess page.

Post Rapture Feedback

A Pound of Purist Preparation
Is Preferable to Purgatory




I read half way and I have to make come comments.
First, for God there is nothing impossible, he took many people out of "TRAPPED" places with "NO WAY OUT".
Second, what makes you so sure that our bodies will be "Taken Up", if our bodies will be left behind then that will cause a great delusion if the Anti-Christ will come right after the Rapture, He will just say I killed them for they are deceivers or make something else up.
We said embarrassing, not limiting. As they rise up thru floor after floor, having to make eye contact with the people they knock over or down....
As to the bodies, the bible says that the bodies of those that are chosen will be raised from the grave, without rot or blemish or missing parts or scars. If the Dead are taking their bodies up in the Rapture, surely the Living get them, too.
Provide the verses.
John: 5:25 - 29
1 Thessalonians 4: 15-17
1 corinthians 15: 51, 52
The dead will rise, incorruptible. This does not mean the dead do not take bribes, but that they show no sign of rot, or other problems. One of the kings of England, on his beheading, had his head sewn up inside his body so that he wouldn't have to go stumbling around looking for it, either as a Ghost in the Tower, or on the Day of Resurrection. THis was unneccesary, as the bodies of all will be as if fresh.

My advice is for you to stop mocking God all over kingdom come. It is clear that you are convicted in your spirit and have hardened your heart. Get your eyes off man and all the screwed up notions he has about life, and set them onto God himself. Your jokes are not amusing, they are pitiful and reveal a sad nature behind the man.

"All over kingdom come"... Now that's an idea. An ambitious one, but it'll keep us off the streets...Of course, it seems to us that you have a rather limited view of 'creation' if our efforts seem to encompass it.... Whatever. You are, we'll admit, funnier than we are.

Return to the Rapture page.



Evolution Feedback

Is Your Religion
In A Textbook?


I see the creation/evolution is not as cut and dried as either side of the argument insists, and I like the way you show both sides. I understand what Smith Wigglesworth ment when he said "Real Pentecost is manifested when we profess to know nothing but Jesus Christ, and Him crucified."
Sometimes, we just read the feedback and sit in glorious wonder...

Return to the Evolution is a religion page.


Return to the Problems with Evolution page.

Cultist Feedback

Is Your Job
A Dangerous Cult?




From the Christian Forum, in regards "Is the Navy a Dangerous Cult?"
lambslove replies:
I've always thought that, too.
Did you know that the early Christians shunned military service, even though that meant death to some of them? The military requires an oath of allegience, and no Christian would take an oath of any sort, and they wouldn't swear loyalty to anyone but Christ. Did you know that early EARLY Christians were called atheists? They did not believe in the Official Gods of Rome, thus they were so labeled. Mostly it seems to have been the percieved difference between people with a hundred of their own gods, and knowledge of similar pantheons in other cultures, against people that pretty much believe in no more than three...or one, depending on how you looked at it.

Return to the Cult Checklist page.

Biblical Restraint

Tell those Bible Thumpers
To Shut UP!




Return to the Shut UP! page.

Articles Of Faith

Nice Creed You Got
There, Is It Christian?



You could say heaven is much like the "clean rooms" where computer companies make their microchips, and sin is like any dust or dirt that might try to find its way into one those rooms. The manufacturing process for microchips requires "clean rooms" to be absolutely spotless, having virtually zero free-floating dust or dirt particles that could damage the delicate microchips. Because humans are naturally contaminated with all kinds of dirt and dust particles, whenever a worker enters one of these "clean rooms," they need to wear a special suit that prevents them from giving off particles. To prevent heaven from becoming contaminated with sin particles, God has long set the requirement that anyone desiring to enter into his untarnished dwelling place needs to be covered in the blood of Jesus.

What did we say about just staring at the feedback?.......Wow.

Return to the Articles of Faith page.

Pascal's Wager

Bet your soul - a 1 in 4 chance?




Calzaer: Actually, as I recall from living there, Hawai'i alone has over 5,000 different gods, spirits, and deified heroes.

Well, i never claimed it was a comprehensive list of all the gods of man, the intent was to show how horribly shallow Pascal's Wager was. At about 3000 i stopped feeling an urge to find more.

If you know of an online source for the Gods etc of Hawaii, though.....

Return to the Pascal's Wager page.

The History of the Religion of Atheism

If it were real, it wouldn't change, right?




Return to the History of Atheism page.


To Go To The WELCOME Mat